2. INSERT CARTOON HERE

3. TEACHING IS SOFT AND MUSHY A. STARTLING FACTS ABOUT TEACHING B. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH C. WHY YOU SHOULD TEACH

4. STARTLING FACT ABOUT TEACHING In the last two years, the State Dept. of Education has issued more than 50,000 emergency teaching credentials.

5. STARTLING FACT ABOUT TEACHING In the last five years, there have been only 8 fully credentialed teachers for every 10 teaching positions in California’s public schools.

6. STARTLING FACT ABOUT TEACHING In California during the 2000-01 school year, 1 in 7 teachers had no credential or the wrong credential for the subject they were teaching.

7. STARTLING FACT ABOUT TEACHING 20% of all new teachers quit within three years…

8. STARTLING FACT ABOUT TEACHING 20% of all new teachers quit within three years… 50% quit within five years.

9. STARTLING FACT ABOUT TEACHING Those teachers who scored in the top 25% on their college entrance exams were nearly twice as likely to leave.

10. STARTLING FACT ABOUT TEACHING One-third of teachers in a nationwide poll said that they would not go into teaching if they had a chance to do it over again.

11. STARTLING FACT ABOUT TEACHING The life expectancy of a teacher is four years lower than the national average.

12. “Teaching is the most responsible, the least advertised, the worst paid, and the most richly rewarded profession in the world.” — Ian Hay

13. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH Teachers are grossly underpaid.

14. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH TEACHERS ARE GROSSLY UNDERPAID. Teachers earn 29% less than other workers with B.A. degrees.

15. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH TEACHERS ARE GROSSLY UNDERPAID. An entry level job in Silicon Valley pays as much as a 5th year teaching position.

16. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH TEACHERS ARE GROSSLY UNDERPAID. A beginning engineer makes $47,112 in California while a new teacher earns $26,225.

17. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH Teaching is undervalued by society.

18. “Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.” — George Bernard Shaw

19. “You don’t have to think too hard when you talk to a teacher.” — J. D. Salinger

20. “Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.” — Oscar Wilde

21. “Education: the inculcation of the imcomprehensible into the indifferent by the incompetent.” — John Maynard Keynes

22. “Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a lost tradition.” — Jacques Barzun

23. “One out of every three students in the United States scores below the 34th percentile in math.” — Bobo the Clown

24. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH Teaching is complex.

25. “We expect teachers to handle teenage pregnancy, substance abuse, and the failings of the family. Then we expect them to educate our children.” — John Sculley

26. “Teaching … is not only the hardest job in the school, it is the hardest job there is.” — William Glasser

27. “Unless one has taught, it is hard to imagine the extent of the demands made on a teacher’s attention.” — Charles Silberman

28. “People sometimes say, ‘I should like to teach if only pupils cared to learn.’ But then there would be little need of teaching.” — George H. Palmer

29. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH TEACHING IS COMPLEX. THE BALANCING ACT Providing for success vs. Providing a challenge

30. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH TEACHING IS COMPLEX. THE BALANCING ACT Computational skills vs. Calculator use

31. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH TEACHING IS COMPLEX. THE BALANCING ACT Traditional tests vs. Performance tasks

32. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH TEACHING IS COMPLEX. THE BALANCING ACT Coverage of topics vs. Depth of understanding

33. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH TEACHING IS COMPLEX. THE BALANCING ACT Algebraic thinking vs. Algebra 1 for all eighth graders

34. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH TEACHING IS COMPLEX. THE BALANCING ACT Real learning vs. Test preparation

35. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH TEACHING IS COMPLEX. THE BALANCING ACT State Standards vs. Common sense

36. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH Teaching is stressful.

37. STARTLING FACT ABOUT TEACHING Teaching is the third most stressful occupation on earth behind only air traffic controllers and surgeons.

38. “50 years ago, teachers said their top discipline problems were talking, chewing gum, making noise, and running in the halls....

39. “The current list, by contrast, sounds like a cross between a rap sheet and the seven deadly sins.” – Anna Quindlen

40. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1940 1) Talking out of turn

41. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1940 1) Talking out of turn 2) Chewing gum

42. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1940 1) Talking out of turn 2) Chewing gum 3) Making noise

43. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1940 1) Talking out of turn 2) Chewing gum 3) Making noise 4) Running in the halls

44. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1940 1) Talking out of turn 2) Chewing gum 3) Making noise 4) Running in the halls 5) Cutting in line

45. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1940 1) Talking out of turn 2) Chewing gum 3) Making noise 4) Running in the halls 5) Cutting in line 6) Dress code infractions

46. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1940 1) Talking out of turn 2) Chewing gum 3) Making noise 4) Running in the halls 5) Cutting in line 6) Dress code infractions 7) Littering

47. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1940 1) Talking out of turn 2) Chewing gum 3) Making noise 4) Running in the halls 5) Cutting in line 6) Dress code infractions 7) Littering

48. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1990 1) Drug abuse

49. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1990 1) Drug abuse 2) Alcohol abuse

50. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1990 1) Drug abuse 2) Alcohol abuse 3) Pregnancy

51. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1990 1) Drug abuse 2) Alcohol abuse 3) Pregnancy 4) Suicide

52. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1990 1) Drug abuse 2) Alcohol abuse 3) Pregnancy 4) Suicide 5) Rape

53. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1990 1) Drug abuse 2) Alcohol abuse 3) Pregnancy 4) Suicide 5) Rape 6) Robbery

54. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1990 1) Drug abuse 2) Alcohol abuse 3) Pregnancy 4) Suicide 5) Rape 6) Robbery 7) Assault

55. TOP 7 SCHOOL PROBLEMS 1990 1) Drug abuse 2) Alcohol abuse 3) Pregnancy 4) Suicide 5) Rape 6) Robbery 7) Assault

56. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH Teaching is exhausting.

57. INSERT CARTOON HERE

58. AN ALIEN’S VIEW OF SCHOOL: “School is a place were young people go to watch old people work.”

59. “Teaching was the hardest work I had ever done, and it remains the hardest work I have done to date.” – Ann Richards

60. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH Teaching is ambiguous.

61. EXCELLENCE IN TEACHING 1) High test scores 2) Quiet classrooms 3) Adherence to state standards 4) Use of latest curricula 5) Modern, high-tech classrooms

62. But what about... l Caring for, respecting, and relating to students l Believing in kids l Compassion, energy, creativity, and intelligence l Inspiring life-long learning

63. “To be a good teacher you need to keep two things in mind simultaneously: 1) you need to reach every student, every minute.

64. “and … 2) in the broad sweep of a student’s life, you are little more than a speck of sand.” – from Possible Lives by Mike Rose

65. “It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.” – Albert Einstein

66. “Education is not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire.” – William Butler Yeats

67. WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TEACH Teaching is frustrating.

68. “For every person wishing to teach, there are thirty not wanting to be taught.” – W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman

69. MURPHY’S LAW IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL Clocks move more quickly during prep periods and more slowly during staff meetings.

70. MURPHY’S LAW IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL On Staff Development Days, clocks don’t move at all.

71. MURPHY’S LAW IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL The line at the copy machine is inversely proportional to the number of minutes left in your prep period.

72. MURPHY’S LAW IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL The copy machine will jam just before you need to run off an important test.

73. MURPHY’S LAW IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL Good students move away.

74. MURPHY’S LAW IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL New students haven’t covered anything you’ve been learning.

75. MURPHY’S LAW IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL The problem child will turn out to be a school board member’s son or daughter.

76. MURPHY’S LAW IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL Kids with colds will sneeze in your face.

77. MURPHY’S LAW IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL The disaster drill will be scheduled during your prep period.

78. MURPHY’S LAW IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL An assembly will be scheduled during the period in which you are most behind.

79. MURPHY’S LAW IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL A disaster will occur on Parent Visitation Day.

80. MURPHY’S LAW IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL When something wonderful happens in your class, nobody is there to see it.

81. WHY YOU SHOULD TEACH 1) Teaching requires CREATIVITY. 2) Teaching is COMPLEX. 3) Teaching is EXCITING. 4) Teaching is SATISFYING.

82. WHY YOU SHOULD TEACH 5) Teaching is COMPELLING. 6) Teaching is intensely PERSONAL. 7) Teaching is FUN. 8) Teaching has a SOUL..

83. WHY YOU SHOULD TEACH Teaching requires creativity.

84. “Good teachers are usually a little crazy.” – Andy Rooney

85. “One can do anything, anything at all … provided with a passionate and gifted teacher.” – Pat Conroy

86. WHY YOU SHOULD TEACH Teaching is complex.

87. “A successful teacher needs: the education of a college president, the executive ability of a financier,

88. the humility of a deacon, the adaptability of a cameleon, the hope of an optimist,

89. the courage of a hero, the wisdom of a serpent, the gentleness of a dove, the patience of Job,

90. the grace of God, and the persistence of the Devil.” – anonymous

91. WHY YOU SHOULD TEACH Teaching is exciting.

92. “Perhaps teaching is really a mutual experience between the younger and the older; perhaps all there is to be learned is what they can discover between them.” – Amanda Cross

93. “Teaching provides a way to stay young at heart, to maintain a lifetime of active learning. … It is in every respect a profession of hope.” – Vito Perrone

94. WHY YOU SHOULD TEACH Teaching is satisfying.

95. “Why teach? Why did Prometheus steal fire only to turn around and give it away? There is an inherent generosity in the human spirit – one of its faces in the face of a teacher.” – Michael Crichton

96. WHY YOU SHOULD TEACH Teaching is compelling.

97. “Teaching is a life sentence … 24/7.” – Jonathan Kozol

98. “Love is a better master than duty.” – Albert Einstein

99. WHY YOU SHOULD TEACH Teaching is intensely personal.

100. “We teach more by what we are than by what we teach.” – Will Durant

101. “Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands who remember them for the rest of their lives.” – Andrew Rooney

102. WHY YOU SHOULD TEACH Teaching is FUN!

103. “To love what you do and feel that it matters – how could anything be more fun?” – Katharine Graham

104. “Teaching seems to me beyond doubt the greatest of the professions.” – Theodore Brameld

105. WHY YOU SHOULD TEACH Teaching has a soul.

106. “If you plan for a decade, plant a tree. If you plan for a century, teach the children.” – anonymous

107. “Teachers are more than any other class the guardians of civilization.” – Bertrand Russell

108. “The future of the nation is on the shoulders of teachers and how they teach kids.” – Richard R. Green

109. “Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.” – H. G. Wells

110. “I beg of you to stop apologizing for being a member of the most important profession in the world.” – William G. Carr

111. “A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.” – Henry Brooks Adams

112. “I touch the future. I teach.” – Christa McAuliffe