1. Leadership Styles and Teamwork : Building effective relationships with council, staff, and citizens Carol Nalbandian, Ph.D. Arizona City/County Management Assn. February 2006

2. Learning Objectives Appreciate your strengths and how you use them. Appreciate the strengths of others and how they use them. Increase awareness of how you change when faced with conflict. Understand the dynamics that affect team work and morale. Develop strategies on how your strengths can be used with others’ strengths to build effective teams.

3. © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., 1-800-624-SDIS (7347). P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 May not be reproduced in any form. Score Charting Example 29 37 34

4. © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., 1-800-624-SDIS (7347). P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 May not be reproduced in any form. Score Charting Example 29 37 34

5. © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., 1-800-624-SDIS (7347). P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 May not be reproduced in any form. Score Charting Example 29 37 34

6. © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., 1-800-624-SDIS (7347). P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 May not be reproduced in any form. Score Charting Example 29 37 34

7. © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., 1-800-624-SDIS (7347). P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 May not be reproduced in any form. Score Charting Example 29 42 37 7 34 51

8. © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., 1-800-624-SDIS (7347). P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 May not be reproduced in any form. Score Charting Example 29 42 37 7 34 51

9. © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., 1-800-624-SDIS (7347). P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 May not be reproduced in any form. Score Charting Example 29 42 37 7 34 51

10. © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., 1-800-624-SDIS (7347). P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 May not be reproduced in any form. Score Charting Example 29 42 37 7 34 51

11. Relationship Awareness Theory One universal motivation – we all want to feel worthwhile. Valued Relating Style – the characteristic patterns of behaving when we feel free to express our motivations. Our behaviors reflect our motivations, but there is a difference between the two.

12. © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., 1-800-624-SDIS (7347). P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 May not be reproduced in any form. Triangle - 7 MVS’ Blue Red-Blue Red Red-Green Green Blue-Green Hub

13. ALTRUISTIC–NURTURING M O T I V A T I O N A L V A L U E S Y S T E M™ VALUED RELATING STYLE 10 © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 1-800-624-SDIS(7347). May not be reproduced in any form. (#4530.01ENG) Concern for the Protection, Growth and Welfare of Others tBeing open and responsive to the needs of others tSeeking ways to bring help to others tTrying to make life easier for others tTrying to avoid being a burden to others tDefending the rights of others

14. ASSERTIVE–DIRECTING M O T I V A T I O N A L V A L U E S Y S T E M™ Concern for Task Accomplishment Concern for Organization of People, Time, Money and Any Other Resources to Achieve Desired Results VALUED RELATING STYLE 11 © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 1-800-624-SDIS(7347). May not be reproduced in any form. (#4530.01ENG) t Competing for authority, responsibility and positions of leadership t Exercising persuasion t Being alert to opportunity t Accepting challenges t Accepting risk-taking as necessary and desirable

15. Concern for Assurance That Things Have Been Properly Thought Out Concern for Meaningful Order Being Established and Maintained Individualism, Self-Reliance & Self-Dependence ANALYTIC–AUTONOMIZING M O T I V A T I O N A L V A L U E S Y S T E M™ VALUED RELATING STYLE 12 © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 1-800-624-SDIS(7347). May not be reproduced in any form. (#4530.01ENG) t Being objective t Being right; Being principled t Being in control of one’s emotions t Being practical t Being cautious and thorough t Being fair t Thinking things through before acting

16. FLEXIBLE–COHERING M O T I V A T I O N A L V A L U E S Y S T E M™ VALUED RELATING STYLE 14 © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 1-800-624-SDIS(7347). May not be reproduced in any form. (#4530.01ENG) Concern for Flexibility Concern for the Welfare of the Group Concern for the Members of the Group and for Belonging in the Group t Being curious about what others think and feel, open minded and willing to adapt t Proud to be a “member” t Likes to know a lot of people t Likes to be known by a lot of people t Likes to be known as flexible

17. ASSERTIVE–NURTURING M O T I V A T I O N A L V A L U E S Y S T E M™ VALUED RELATING STYLE 16 © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 1-800-624-SDIS(7347). May not be reproduced in any form. (#4530.01ENG) Concern for the Protection, Growth and Welfare of Others Through Task Accomplishment and Leadership t Actively seeking opportunities to help others t Persuading others to ensure maximum growth and development of others t Being open to proposals for creating welfare and security for others t Creating enthusiasm and support in tackling obstacles to success

18. JUDICIOUS–COMPETING M O T I V A T I O N A L V A L U E S Y S T E M™ VALUED RELATING STYLE 17 © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 1-800-624-SDIS(7347). May not be reproduced in any form. (#4530.01ENG) Concern for Intelligent Assertiveness, Justice, Leadership, Order, and Fairness in Competition t Providing rational leadership that can assess risks and opportunities t Being decisive and proactive when all the facts are in t Challenging opposition through thoughtful process and strategy

19. CAUTIOUS–SUPPORTING M O T I V A T I O N A L V A L U E S Y S T E M™ VALUED RELATING STYLE 18 © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 1-800-624-SDIS(7347). May not be reproduced in any form. (#4530.01ENG) Concern for Affirming and Developing Self-Sufficiency in Self and Others Concern for Thoughtful Helpfulness with Regard for Justice t Building effective processes and resources to protect or enhance welfare of others t Offering assistance for greater self-sufficiency and independence t Supporting activities that lead to growth t Fighting for principles that are fair

20. © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., 1-800-624-SDIS (7347). P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 May not be reproduced in any form. Triangle - 7 MVS’ Blue Red-Blue Red Red-Green Green Blue-Green Hub

21. 27 © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 1-800-624-SDIS(7347). May not be reproduced in any form. (#4530.01ENG) Stage 1 Stage 2 Stage 3 Maintaining self-worth Focus on self, problem and other Preserving self-worth Focus on self and problem Threatening self-worth Focus on self Conflict and Self- Worth

22. C ONFLICT IS P REDICTABLY S EQUENTIAL... IN CONFLICT OR OPPOSITION COLUMN 4COLUMN 5COLUMN 6 C ONFLICT S EQUENCE™ Scores 6 points or less apart are shown in parentheses. © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 1-800-624-SDIS(7347). May not be reproduced in any form. (#4530.01ENG)

23. C ONFLICT IS P REDICTABLY S EQUENTIAL... IN CONFLICT OR OPPOSITION COLUMN 4COLUMN 5COLUMN 6 C ONFLICT S EQUENCE™ Scores 6 points or less apart are shown in parentheses. © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 1-800-624-SDIS(7347). May not be reproduced in any form. (#4530.01ENG) 185428 RGB

24. C ONFLICT IS P REDICTABLY S EQUENTIAL... IN CONFLICT OR OPPOSITION COLUMN 4COLUMN 5COLUMN 6 C ONFLICT S EQUENCE™ Scores 6 points or less apart are shown in parentheses. © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 1-800-624-SDIS(7347). May not be reproduced in any form. (#4530.01ENG) 381943 GBR

25. 27 © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 1-800-624-SDIS(7347). May not be reproduced in any form. (#4530.01ENG) Stage 1 Stage 2 Stage 3 Maintaining self-worth Focus on self, problem and other Preserving self-worth Focus on self and problem Threatening self-worth Focus on self Conflict and Self- Worth

26. 28 © 1997, U.S. and Worldwide Copyrights, Personal Strengths Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 2605, Carlsbad, CA 92018 1-800-624-SDIS(7347). May not be reproduced in any form. (#4530.01ENG) T HE T HREE S TAGES OF C ONFLICT STAGE 2 PRESERVING SELF-WORTH STAGE 1 MAINTAINING SELF-WORTH STAGE 3 THREATENING SELF-WORTH BLUE ACCOMMODATE OTHERS SURRENDER CONDITIONALLY SURRENDER UNCONDITIONALLY RED RISE TO THE CHALLENGE FIGHT TO WIN FIGHT FOR SURVIVAL GREEN BE PRUDENTLY CAUTIOUS PULL BACK AND ANALYZE WITHDRAW METHOD OF DEFENDING A MOTIVATIONAL VALUE SYSTEM TO RETURN TO THE VALUED RELATING STYLE

27. Identifying Strengths Overdone GULLIBLE is being so TRUSTING that you put your faith in the wrong people. ABRASIVE is being so PERSUASIVE that you rub people the wrong way and make them feel pushed. RIGID is being so METHODICAL that you find it very difficult to change your ways. WISHY-WASHY is being so FLEXIBLE that it is unclear to others what you stand for or what you are committed to.

28. BORROWED RELATING STYLE when the behavior does not enhance feelings of self-worth but is personally acceptable because it is a way to reach a desired goal. In a Borrowed Relating Style, one’s behavior is chosen from another Valued Related Style but is still supportive of one’s underlying purpose. when a person learns to put on a Mask because it is expected of them or because it may be the only means of survival. It can be a short or long term behavior pattern. Masks may be required in any area of life—a specific situation, a highly regulated environment, a job, a marriage, a social relationship. MASK RELATING STYLE

29. Summary Points Related to SDI Everyone wants to feel worthwhile. There is no one correct way to manage or lead. Each person has strengths to contribute to a team effort. Strengths can be overdone or abused. We change motivations and sometimes behaviors under conflict. Win-win is when you operate from your strengths and allow others to do the same.

30. Group Dynamics in Teams Task versus Process Over-Dependency Fight/Flight Behavior Triangulation Scapegoating “Killing” the Leader What can the leader do?