1. Welcome to 1 Bob Heavers bob@prioritydenver.com

2. SUCCESS LEADS TO The Success Model Understanding Behavior and Appropriate Responses INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS LEADS TO 2

3. Two Indisputable Truths We need each other. What we give to others, unconditionally, will always come back in equal or greater proportion. 3

4. People Skills What adjectives would you use to describe the people who seem to get under your skin most quickly … the ones you find it hardest to tolerate? 4

5. People Skills When it comes to the way you interact with other people, what would you like to be able to do better? What would other people like to see you do better? 5

6. Definitions Behavior — What you say (verbal) and do (non-verbal) Interpersonal Behavior — What you say and do when interacting with one or more people SOCIAL STYLE sm — A particular pattern of actions that others can observe and agree upon for describing one’s behavior Personality — The combination of ideas, values, hopes, dreams, attitudes, abilities, as well as the behavior that others can observe that encompasses everything a person is Observable Behavior Personality 6

7. Assertiveness A dimension of behavior that measures the degree to which others perceive a person as tending to ask or tell in interactions with others. Asking with Some Telling More Telling More Asking Telling with Some Asking D BA C ASKS TELLS 7

8. Responsiveness A dimension of behavior that measures the degree to which others perceive a person as tending to control or display their feelings and emotions when interacting. More Controlling Emoting With Some Controlling Controlling with Some Emoting More Emoting EMOTES CONTROLS 1 4 3 2 8

9. SOCIAL STYLE Model TM Analytical Serious Exacting Indecisive Logical Driving Independent Formal Practical Dominating Expressive Animated Forceful Opinionated Impulsive Amiable Dependable Supportive Pliable Open EMOTES ASKS TELLS CONTROLS 9

10. Definitions Style Need — The general goal of each style, indicated by the observed behaviors associated with that particular SOCIAL STYLE Position. Style Orientation — The typical/observed behavior of each SOCIAL STYLE, used to obtain the style need. Style Growth Action — Those behaviors that are infrequently used in favor of the more preferred behaviors of each style; viewed by others as the greatest weakness of that particular style. Not taking our style growth action can lead to unproductive interpersonal relationships. 10

11. Definitions Backup Behavior An exaggerated form of style behaviors used by a person to reduce tension within the relationship that caused the tension. 11

12. Tension Productivity Model Tension — A force which stimulates activity. Appropriate Level of Tension Low Level of Tension High Level of Tension High Productivity Low Productivity LOW HIGH TENSION PRODUCTIVITY LOW HIGH = = = 12

13. Backup Behavior Model Backup Behavior — An exaggerated form of style behaviors used by a person to reduce tension within the relationship that caused the tension. AVOIDS AUTOCRATIC ACQUIESCESATTACKS AnalyticalDriving Amiable Expressive BACKUP ASKS EMOTES TELLS CONTROLS 13

14. Key Characteristics of the Social Styles Need: To Be Right Analytical Orientation: Thinking Growth Action: To Declare Need: Personal Security Amiable Orientation: Relationships Growth Action: To Initiate Need: Results Driving Orientation: Action Growth Action: To Listen Need: Personal Approval Expressive Orientation: Spontaneity Growth Action: To Check EMOTES ASKS TELLS CONTROLS 14

15. What are the Pluses and the Minuses of each Social Style? 15

16. SOCIAL STYLE Model TM ANALYTICAL DRIVING AMIABLE EXPRESSIVE EMOTES ASKSTELLS CONTROLS DB D A BC A 1 C 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 16

17. Versatility Versatility — A measure of the level of social endorsement accorded to an individual by others. Behaviors Seen as Focusing on My Tension Behaviors Seen as Focusing on Others’ Tension Low Versatility High Versatility W YZ X 17

18. Four Sources of Social Endorsement APPROPRIATE USE OF IMAGE PRESENTATION COMPETENCE FEEDBACK SOCIAL ENDORSEMENT (Versatility) Leads to 18

19. Steps for Earning Endorsement 1. Know Yourself 2. Control Yourself 3. Know Others 4. Do Something for Others 19

20. Observable Behavior Say Do Under-The-Bracket Model Honest Intelligent Arrogant Motivated Self-Centered Sincere Critical I like him. He annoys me. She interests me. He irritates me. I distrust her. I hate him. I trust him. Quiet Slower-paced Facially controlled Monotone voice Indirect eye contact Casual posture Leans back - Loud - Faster-paced - Facially animated - Inflected voice - Direct eye contact - Rigid posture - Leans forward A Traits C Judgments B Under-the-Bracket Behavior (Say/Do) 20

21. Under-The-Bracket Behaviors · Slower Pace · Fewer Statements · Non-directive/ Relaxed Use of Hands · Quieter Volume · Leans Back · Indirect Eye Contact · Less Hand Movement · Controlled Facial Expressions · Monotone · Task Subjects · Facts/Data · Rigid Posture · Faster Pace · More Statements · Directive Use of Hands/Points for Emphasis · Louder Volume · Leans Forward · Direct Eye Contact · Inflection · People Subjects · Opinions/Stories · Casual Posture · More Hand Movement · Animated Facial Expressions ASKS TELLS CONTROLS EMOTES 21

22. Rules for Observing Style 1.Avoid trying to define a style too quickly. 2.Get out of the way. 3.Learn to observe more accurately and describe what a person does without making early “good,” “bad” or “why” judgments. 4.Separate style clues from assigned authority or role. 5.Moderate stress clarifies style. 6.Set the stage for the person being observed. 22

23. The PRO Strategy 1. Acknowledge other’s style NEED, 2. Encourage other’s style ORIENTATION, 3. Take your style GROWTH ACTION, 4. Help others take their GROWTH ACTION. 23

24. My Pro-Action Plan Name of other person: ___________________________________________________________ Other’s Style:DrivingExpressiveAmiableAnalytical Other’s Need:PersonalPersonal ResultsApprovalSecurity To Be Right Other’s Orientation:ActionSpontaneityRelationships Thinking My Growth Action:To ListenTo CheckTo InitiateTo Declare Other’s Growth Action:To ListenTo CheckTo InitiateTo Declare I will acknowledge his/her style need by:____________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________ I will encourage his/her style orientation by: _________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________ I will take my growth action by: ___________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________ I will help him/her take his/her growth action by: _____________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________ 24