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Social Styles Raising self awareness and enhancing your influence Professor Robert Bontempo Columbia University Graduate School of Business.

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Presentation on theme: "Social Styles Raising self awareness and enhancing your influence Professor Robert Bontempo Columbia University Graduate School of Business."— Presentation transcript:

1 Social Styles Raising self awareness and enhancing your influence Professor Robert Bontempo Columbia University Graduate School of Business

2 ASSERTIVENESS - is a measure of the degree to which you see yourself as tending to ask or as tending to tell as you interact with others..

3 ASK ASSERTIVE cautious and reserved about sharing opinions; questioning; low-key, quiet TELL ASSERTIVE opinionated, forceful; makes statements and declarations; directs actions of others

4 ASKS TELLS Ask Assertive Slower pace Fewer Statements Quieter Volume Non-Directive/Relaxed Use of Hands Leans Back Indirect Eye Contact ME Tell Assertive Faster Pace More statements Louder Volume Directive Use of Hands/Points for Emphasis Leans forward Direct Eye Contact Assertiveness

5 RESPONSIVENESS - is a measure of the degree to which you see yourself as tending to control - i.e. keep your feelings and emotions inside - or, it is the degree to which you emote - i.e. outward display your feelings and emotions with others.

6 CONTROL focus on ideas, things, data and tasks; tend not to share feelings publicly EMOTE readily shares feelings; expresses anger, joy happiness, hurt feelings

7 More Controlling Monotone Task Subjects Facts/Data Less Use of Hands Rigid Posture Controlled Facial Expressions More Emoting Inflections People Subjects Opinions/Stories More Use of Hands Casual Posture Animated Facial Expressions CONTROLS EMOTES ME Responsiveness

8 CONTROL focus on ideas, things, data and tasks; tend not to share feelings publicly ASK ASSERTIVE cautious and reserved about sharing opinions; questioning; low-key, quiet TELL ASSERTIVE opinionated, forceful; makes statements and declarations; directs actions of others EMOTE readily shares feelings; expresses anger, joy happiness, hurt feelings

9 TELLS CONTROLS EMOTES ASKS 1. Monotone 2. Task Subjects 3. Facts/Data 4. Less Hand Movement 5. Rigid Posture 6. Controlled Facial Expressions 1. Slower Pace 2. Fewer Statements 3. Quieter Volume 4. Non-directive/Relaxed Use of Hands 5. Leans Back 6. Indirect Eye Contact 1. Inflections 2. People Subjects 3. Opinions/Stories 4. More Hand Movement 5. Casual Posture 6. Animated Facial Expressions 1. Faster Pace 2. More Statements 3. Louder Volume 4. Directive Use of Hands/Points for Emphasis 5. Leans Forward 6. Direct Eye Contact Verbal and Non-Verbal Cues

10 TELLS CONTROLS EMOTES ASKS Analytical Amiable Driving Expressive Social Styles

11 TELLS CONTROLS EMOTES ASKS Analytical Amiable Driving Expressive Logical Thorough Serious Systematic Prudent Cooperative Supportive Diplomatic Patient Loyal Pragmatic Efficient Decisive Candid Independent Enthusiastic Spontaneous Outgoing Fun loving Persuasive

12 CONTROL ASK ASSERTIVETELL ASSERTIVE EMOTE Driving Style More Telling + More Controlled Behavior Swift action Maximum effort to control Minimum concern for caution in relationships Present time frame Direct action Tends to avoid inaction

13 CONTROL ASK ASSERTIVETELL ASSERTIVE EMOTE Expressive Style More Telling + More Emoting Behavior Rapid action Maximum effort to involve Minimum concern for routine Future time frame Impulsive action Tends to avoid isolation

14 CONTROL ASK ASSERTIVETELL ASSERTIVE EMOTE Amiable Style More Asking + More Emoting Behavior Unhurried action Maximum effort to relate Minimum concern for affecting change Present time frame Supportive action Tends to avoid conflict

15 CONTROL ASK ASSERTIVETELL ASSERTIVE EMOTE Analytical Style More Asking + More Controlled Behavior Slow action Maximum effort to organize Minimum concern for relationships Historical time frame Cautious action Tends to avoid personal involvement

16 StyleStrengthRisk Analytical Amiable Expressive Driver Precise, systematic Supportive, easygoing Enthusastic, imaginative Determined, objective Inflexible, nit picking Conforming, permissive Overbearing, unrealistic Domineering, unfeeling

17 StyleRiskAdvice Analytical Amiable Expressive Driver Inflexible, nit picking Conforming, permissive Overbearing, unrealistic Domineering, unfeeling Decide, take a stand Set/achieve goals, challenge others to do their best Restrain yourself Listen to others

18 AnalyticalDriver AmiableExpressive Historical Evidence Data, and Experience Relationship Based Trust and Reassurance Cost Benefit Analysis Pushing to Conclusion Vivid Dramatic Testimony DECISION MAKINGUses Facts Uses Opinions Takes RisksAvoids Risks Reference: Williams and Miller (2002). Change the Way You Persuade, HBR.

19 If you are a…Driver And theyare …

20 If you are… an Expressive And theyare …

21 If you are an …Amiable And theyare …

22 If you are…an Analytical And theyare …


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