Outline of Session u Romantic Relationships (Dating) u Love u Sexuality
Romantic Relationships u What is a date? u How is it different than just hanging out together? u At what age should dating be permitted?
Developmental Changes in Dating u By age 15, 20% of adolescents have had a romantic relationship lasting >= a few weeks u By senior year, most are dating at least 2 to 3 times a month (roughly 45% at least 1x/week) u Whether or not one has started dating is more linked to ones age than to physical maturation
Reasons for Dating u Throughout adolescence, having fun/enjoyment are #1 reason for dating u By college, intimacy/emotional closeness was #1. u Gender differences: –Middle adolescence, boys #1 reason for choosing romantic partner is physical attractiveness, girls #1 reason in interpersonal qualities (closeness, supportiveness) –Later adolescence: both males and females emphasize interpersonal (e.g., support, intimacy)
Dating Scripts u Do males follow a certain script? (E.g., initiating date?). u Do females follow a certain script?
The Rules Sampler: u If he does not call, he is not that interested. Period. u DON'T call him and rarely return his calls. u Be a creature unlike any other. u DON'T meet him halfway or go dutch on a date. u DON'T open up too fast. u DON'T expect a man to change or try to change him.
Research on dating scripts u During adolescence, males tend to follow a proactive script –Initiate the date, decide where they will go, drive the car, initiate sexual contact u Females still tend to follow a reactive script –Focus on their dress, grooming, respond to males initiatives (e.g., wait to be picked up), tend not to initiate sex u Following the script can be challenging for both boys and girls u The research is mostly from 10 years ago
Love u Sternbergs model: Three component qualities of love: –Passion: physical attraction, sexual desire. »May involve intense emotions: desire, anxiety, jealousy, being thrilled, etc. –Intimacy: closeness, attachment. Mutual understanding, communication –Commitment: Decision to love someone over the long run, regardless of changes in emotion, changes in passion, changes in intimacy
Sternbergs 7 Forms of Love PassionIntimacyCommitment Liking Most friendships. Friendships may not be enduring over the course of life. Infatuation Physiological, emotional arousal, without emotional closeness Empty Love Passion and intimacy may have been lost over time Romantic Love Being in love Companionate Love E.g., long term couples whose passion has decreased. Also could apply to close family relationships, very close friends Fatuous Whirlwind relationships, e.g. meet and marry within 3 weeks Consummate Love Ideal love (must be maintained, or passion/intimacy fades)
Sternbergs theory and adolescence u Candace Feiring (1996): Most adolescent relationships lack commitment. –Most last only a few weeks or months –10% of middle adolescents had a relationship that lasted >= 1 year (and very few go on to marry) –Relationships are short but intense, contact is very frequent– almost daily (in person and on phone). u So, most adolescent relationships are infatuation or romantic love. –Romantic love includes intimacy, and is more common later in adolescence, and in young adulthood. As two teens spend time with one another, share thoughts, feelings, intimacy grows.
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do… u Adolescents may suffer considerably after break up of romantic relationship, but little research has been done. u College students: –Couples who reported less intimacy/love were more likely to have broken up within 2 yr follow-up –Similarity on age, physical attractiveness, SATs, predicted staying together –Imbalance between partners in level of commitment predicted breaking up –Reasons included boredom, desire for independence, different interests, communication problems, different backgrounds, different attitudes regarding sex/marriage –Females were more likely than males to end the relationship (in one study) –Females who were broken up with (i.e. rejected) were less depressed than males who were rejected. In general, after a break up moderate levels of depression still remain at 2 months for almost half of students –Men had a harder time staying friends
Parental Influences on Teen Sex? –(For parents who disapprove of premarital sex, having the sex talk made no difference. Liberal parents who had the sex talk had teens who were more sexually active). Close parental monitoring? -----No. Communication about sexual issues? -----No How liberal the parents attitudes are towards sex? -----Yes
Effects of Early Sex u Early adolescent sex (age 15 and younger) associated with: –Drug and alcohol use –Lower motivation for school –Growing up in poverty. »Perhaps because of poverty, they have fewer hopes/plans, less incentive to avoid pregnancy
Sexual Intercourse, High School Students, 1990s & 2003
More Facts on Teen Pregnancies: u 78% of Adolescent Births were from unintended pregnancies u Approx 1/3 of teen pregnancies terminated in abortion in 2000 (versus 40% in 1990) u 10% of the children are adopted u Teen pregnancy rate in US is highest among industrialized nations (year 2000): –U.S.: 48/1000 –UK: 31/1000 –Canada: 20/1000 –France: 10/1000 –Japan: 4/1000
Teen Pregnancy, ctd u Those who have a child are (compared to peers): –2x more likely to drop out of school –After high school, less likely to become employed or go to college (even controlling on SES) –More likely to have psychological and conduct problems (many of which were pre-existing) u The children of teen mothers (compared to other babies): –More likely to be born prematurely, and lower birth weight (predicts physical health problems & poorer intellectual functioning) –Higher rate of behavioral problems in childhood –Part of the problem is because only 20% of pregnant teens receive any prenatal care in first trimester –Part of the childs problems can be accounted for by lower socioeconomic status, and lack partners support.