Presentation on theme: "Tricky People. The Continuum of Safety Feeling safe - safe place Fun to feel scared - roller coaster, bunji-jump, scary movie etc. Risking on purpose."— Presentation transcript:
The Continuum of Safety Feeling safe - safe place Fun to feel scared - roller coaster, bunji-jump, scary movie etc. Risking on purpose - may not be fun but we want the outcome Feeling unsafe - may not have Choice, Control or Time- Limit Early Warning Signs - our body telling us we dont feel safe
Unwritten Rules The unwritten rules are social expectations and stereo- types that we encounter through our lives. Over time we may internalise them as part of our personal belief systems and they usually include the following characteristics:. External - family, religion, school, media etc. We can choose - whether to follow them Change over place and time - cultures, life styles, generations Can be helpful - can encourage socially acceptable behaviour Possible basis of discrimination - label people/groups Contradictory - can give confusing messages Often command language - Should, Ought, Must Underlying heterosexual assumptions - gender roles etc.
No Longer Stranger Danger We need to STOP telling our children not to talk to strangers... BECAUSE they might need to talk to a stranger one day. Instead, we need to teach them which sorts of strangers are safe...e.g. A mum with kids.
Tricky People It is unlikely our children are going to be abused by a weirdo at the park. An Offender is going to come up to our child and introduce himself. Voila! He isnt a stranger anymore. We need to teach our children about TRICKY PEOPLE, instead. TRICKY PEOPLE are grown-ups who ASK KIDS FOR HELP (no adult needs to ask a kid for help) or TELLS KIDS TO KEEP A SECRET FROM THEIR PARENTS (including, ITS OKAY TO COME OVER HERE BEHIND THIS TREE WITHOUT ASKING MUM FIRST. Not asking Mum is tantamount to KEEPING A SECRET.)
Safety Rules 1. DO NOT DO ANYTHING, or GO ANYWHERE, with ANY ADULTS AT ALL, unless they can ask for your parents permission first.
Thats because: Its far more likely our child is going to be abused by someone they have a relationship with, because most cases of abuse follow long periods of grooming both of the child and his or her family. Offenders groom us and our children to gauge whether or not we are paying attention to what theyre doing, and/or to lure us into dropping our guard. Children who Offenders think are flying under their parents radars, or who seem a little insecure or disconnected from their parents, are the children who are most at risk. AT ALL??????????
We all have the right to feel safe all of the time. We all - PBs universal equal opportunities statement have the right - not always able to exercise right to feel safe to feel safe - difference between feeling safe and being safe all of the time. - all times, places, people and situations Others have the right to feel safe with us Rights and Responsibilities - Responsibility to and for Safe place - visualisation - a personal concept of safety
There is nothing so awful, [or too little], that we cant talk about it with someone we can trust There is nothing - absolutely no thing so awful - terrible dreadful, ghastly, disgusting, embarrassing etc. [or too little] - small, unimportant, insignificant, nothing etc. That we cant talk about it - relief, share, embarrass, relax etc. with someone we can trust- difference talk with/talk to someone
Suspicious of gifts that adults in positions of authority give our kids. Suspicious of people who tell our child he is so special they want to offer him more one-on-one time, or special outings. Be wary of the adult relative whos always out in the yard with the children and never with the grown-ups? Vigilant and keep an eye on our children. SO...WE NEED TO BE...
Building a Personal Network Talk - what talking can do for us Qualities - the qualities of someone we might talk with How to know - finding out if someone has those qualities Who - a comprehensive list of possible network people How to contact - many different ways to contact network people Friend Network - 4 friends in addition to those we live with. Adult Network - 4 adults, in addition to adults we live with.
The Seven PBs Strategies Theme Reinforcement - visual, and verbal, role modeling One-Step-Removed - third person, puppets, stories, pictures Network Review - frequent, on the spot review (available people) Persistence - keep on telling till EWS subside. If return tell again Protective Interruption - potential/actual unsafe situation Risking on Purpose - do something because we want the outcome Language of Safety - quality, shared meaning, ownership, clarity