1Protective BehaviorsA message from children to parents
2The PB Process - ThemesThe PB Process consists of two themes and five strategies (or steps) designed to encourage us to act on our feelings if we feel unsafe.Theme One:We all have the right to feel safe all of the time…and others have the right to feel safe with us.Theme Two:We can talk with someone we trust about anything, no matter how awful or small.
3The PB Process - Steps Step One: Step Two: Step Three: Step Four: Talk about feeling safe, adventurous and unsafe.Step Two:Identify early warning signs.Step Three:Encourage talk about feelings.Step Four:Create a network.Step Five:Persist until early warnings signs go away.
4The PB Process – Step One Safe, Adventurous, UnsafeAs children, we learn to identify the difference between the excitement of adventure and the bitter taste of danger.We agree that it is important to understand that as we grow older, the situations in which we become involved will change, but our right to feel safe will not.There is a big difference between healthy excitement and being frightened more than we want to be.SafeAdventurousAs children, we learn to identify the difference between the excitement of adventure and the bitter taste of danger.We agree that it is important to understand that as we grow older, the situations in which we become involved will change, but our right to feel safe will not.There is a big difference between healthy excitement and being frightened more than we want to be.Unsafe
5The PB Process – Step Two Early Warning Signs (EWS)What our bodies say:How does it feel when we know we are safe vs. when we know we are in danger?Our bodies don’t lie.Because we are children, we are able to learn quickly to identify and trust our feelings. Paying attention to our EWS helps us to protect ourselves.We need to identify and trust our feelings.“There are butterflies in my stomach!”“My heart is beating so fast!”“My knees are so wobbly!”“My mouth is so dry!”We talk about how it feels when we know we are in danger as compared to when we are safe, and tat helps us to recognize our Early Warning Signs or EWS. You see, our bodies don’t lie; our minds can play tricks on us, but not our bodies.Our internal physical sensations or EWS go off, just like a red police light.When this happens, our bodies’ warning systems are trying to tell us maybe we are not safe. However, it makes sense to take a deep breath and ask, “Do I have a choice here? Am I in charge/control? Will there be an end to feeling scared?”Because we are children, we are able to learn quickly to identify and trust our feelings. Paying attention to our EWS helps us to protect ourselves.
6Always trust your instincts The PB Process – Step ThreeEncourage Talk About FeelingsAn important part of trusting our feelings means that it’s okay to share feelings.“Sometimes I feel scared when I’m alone…but talking to an adult who I trust helps me feel safe again.”“Encouraging us to talk about our feelings helps us feel safe again.”Always trust your instincts
7The PB Process – Step Four Aunt MaryNetworkingMusic TeacherJust as we share our –day at school,day at the zoo, orday at Grandma’swe are encouraged to “share” feelings with adults – especially our Early Warning Signs.Name at least four adults other than those at home whom they can trust.My ClergyPoliceJoey’s MomMy TeacherEverybody should try to name at least four adults besides the people at home whom they can trust.We feel comfortable talking to these adults about anything. Sometimes we call this our “helping hand.”These four people become an important personal network who help take away our fears. This helps us feel safe once again.Uncle JimOlder SisterCaution: Some of the people shown may NOT be worthy of your trust – they may even be part of the problem. Select your network with care.Grandma
8The PB Process – Step Four NetworkingMusic TeacherAunt MaryMy ClergyPolice_________, if I wasn’t feeling safe, or if I wanted to talk with you about something wonderful, would you be willing to be one of my network people; someone I trust that I could talk with?Joey’s MomMy TeacherUncle JimOlder SisterGrandma
9Ask yourself, “Are these people I can trust?” The PB Process – Step FourThis is my Network – My “Helping Hand”Ask yourself, “Are these people I can trust?”Piano TeacherMary’s MomSchool CounselorUncle JoeMom, Dad, Grandma
10The PB Process – Step Five PersistenceWhen we learn to ride a bicycle, we keep trying until we succeed – this is persistence.Persist in talking to as many people in your network as it takes for you to feel safe again; until your EWS go away.When we are learning to ride a bicycle, we keep trying and trying until we succeed. That is called persistence.What could we do when we don’t feel safe and our EWS are bothering us? We can speak out for ourselves until someone does something to help us feel safe.We will know we are safe when our EWS go away. That may mean we have to talk to more than one adult in our network. Sometimes we need to go to ALL of the people in our network before we feel safe! This is called persistence too – just like learning how to ride a bike.
11Proactive Problem Solving The PB ProcessProactive Problem Solving(creating “if” situations, and providing “then” solutions)Having a PlanWhat if …I’m locked out at homeI’m lost in storeMy ride doesn’t show upMy friend’s shopliftingFamily adults are fightingSomeone bully’s meI’m approached by strangerFalse alarmsI’m touched in way that feels uncomfortableAn adult needs emergency help
12Family Plan Strategies The PB ProcessFamily Plan StrategiesNow take the “IF” list and provide “THEN” Solutions“IF” I get locked out at home,“THEN”I go to Mrs. Johnson’s next door, orCall dad at work, orCall Aunt Becky who has an extra key
13Teach the “First Rule of Safety” The PB ProcessTeach the “First Rule of Safety”WHEREWHOWHEN
14The Child Should Know at all Times… The PB ProcessThe Child Should Know at all Times…Their telephone numberTheir addressTheir parent(s) work numberHow to reach you or someone you trust
15Protective Behaviors Checklist The PB ProcessProtective Behaviors ChecklistEarly Warning SignsNetworkEven if’s…First Rule of Safety
16What if My Child is Sexually Abused? The PB ProcessWhat if My Child is Sexually Abused?Take them seriouslyGet professional help
17Children are strong and smart and have the right to feel safe. The PB ProcessChildren are strong and smart and have the right to feel safe.
18Thank you for empowering children to stay safe! Protective BehaviorsThank you for empowering children to stay safe!Rob Seemann3005 S. Troutdale Rd.Troutdale, ORph: