1. 謝麥寶霞 婚姻及家庭治療師

2.  Protect and Prepare  our children to survive and thrive in this society and serve God

3. Character building: Respect Responsibility Cooperation Courage Self esteem

4. Control Leader’s Guide: page 34 SLIDES 12a-b Power = 100% 1% < Power < 100% Influence

5. SUCCESSFUL FAMILIES Handle their problems and learn from them UNSUCCESSFUL FAMILIES Make problems worse and don’t learn how to improve Leader’s Guide: page 48 SLIDE 18

6. Leader’s Guide: page 49 SLIDES 19a-b Who Who Owns the Problem? TEENADULT Provide Discipline Provide Support

7.  Who is the problem behavior directly affecting?  Whose goals are being blocked?  Does the problem involve health, safety, or family values?  Is the problem one that you can reasonably expect your teen to solve? Leader’s Guide: page 50 SLIDE 20

8. Dictators DEMAND cooperation. Doormats HOPE for cooperation. Active parents WIN cooperation. Leader’s Guide: pages 52-53 SLIDE 21a-c Mutual Respect Participation Two or more people working together in a mutually supportive manner for a common goal

9. Leader’s Guide: page 54 SLIDE 22 Who Owns the Problem? TEENADULT Provide Discipline Provide Support Avoid communication blocks Let teen handle, but offer support using Active Communication

10. The road to cooperation is paved with good communication. The Three Channels:  Words  Tone of voice  Nonverbal cues: body language and facial expression Leader’s Guide: pages 54-55 SLIDES 23a-b

11. Leader’s Guide: page 57 SLIDE 24 Any words, tone of voice, or body language that influences a person sharing a problem to end the communication COMMANDING CRITICIZING Distracting Negative Expectations Interrogating Sarcasm Moralizing Psychologizing Placating Being a know-it-all Focusing on Mistakes Advising Perfectionism

12. Leader’s Guide: pages 58-59 SLIDES 25a-d Courage = The confidence to take a known risk for a known purpose. Courage positive action success Discouragement negative action failure En-couragement positive action success Avoid dis-couraging!

13. Leader’s Guide: page 60 SLIDE 26 “One thing I like about you is _________.”  Be direct.  Be specific.  Be sincere.  Say, “Thank you.”

14. Leader’s Guide: page 62 SLIDE 27 5.Follow up later. 1.Listen actively. 2.Listen for feelings. 3.Look for alternatives/evaluate consequences. 4.Offer encouragement.

15. “People don’t care how much you know—until they know how much you care.” — John C. Maxwell Leader’s Guide: pages 62-63 SLIDES 28a-b 1. Attention 2. Acknowledgement 3. Empathy

16. Four ways to offer encouragement to teens: 1.Focus on strengths. 2.Show confidence. 3.Stimulate independence. 4.Value who they are. Leader’s Guide: page 66 SLIDE 30