1. ARE MEN PERPETRATORS OF GENDER-BASED VIOLENCE? COUNSELLING FOR TRAUMA PREVENTION. Sr. Dr. Chika Eze Lecturer: Department of Psychology, Faculty of Education, The Catholic University of Eastern Africa.

2. Association: Patriarchy & Masculinity Manifestation: domination over others Power-play: Superior vs. inferior Independent vs. dependent etc. Socialization process: Men oriented to see themselves as Bosses, women as gentle, pleasing, caring etc., Impact on gender-based violence? Introduction

3. Discourse of Patriarchy & Masculinity Globally the 2 share some likeness Some manifestation: P stands for control, so also M P stands for independence, so do M P stands for strong mindedness & M & P stands for hegemony & M as well Similarity between Patriarchy & Masculinity

4. Socialization Processes Early & on-going socialization influence female & male Based on: Gender-roles, gender expectations, norms, values etc. Consequently: Men & Women tend to perceive themselves differently, which is not a problem but how does it impact on behaviour Socialization Processes

5. Produces dichotomy in the way men and women perceive ‘who they are’ & ‘are becoming’ Reflecting polar opposite which Hermans (1996, p.46) describes As socially and institutionally established position that is devaluing, suppressing, even splitting off the opposite position. This structure reflects asymmetrical dialogical relationship not only among positions between different people but also among positions within the individual self Impact of socialization process

6. The result is that boys (men) begin early to see themselves as bosses while girls (women) see themselves as submissive This kind of self-understanding permeates how men and women behave in the family, school setting, office, Church etc. And the question is: does this impact on gender-based violence? Self-understanding through gender-lens

7. Literature positioning men with violence argues that early socialization processes in the family are disadvantageous to both men & women (Nya, 2005; Watson, 2013). More so, some argue that it is more disadvantageous to boys/men because of its association with patriarchy (Abate, 2008; Connell, 1996; 2004). Literature

8. WHO’s Report Violence rate against women as follows: 37.7% in South-East Asia, 37.0% in Eastern Mediterranean, 36.6% in African, and 29.8% in America An internet news of 18 May, 2015 reported that an Indian nurse dies after 42 years of being in coma as a result of gender-base assault of rape (died at the age of 66) Our daily news carry similar messages of how women are abused from time to time Granted that in some cases, men have also experienced undesirable treatment from women but the percentage might not be comparable. However, the position taken is not that women should victimize men rather there should exist among female & male an attitude of collegiality, complementarity etc. No one should treat the other as a slave or less equal.

9. Need for advocacy counselling Sensitizing men to understand the dangers involved in using the negative affirmative discourse of patriarchy such as ‘strong’, ‘brevity’, ‘superior’ to denote ‘who they are’. Running workshop, seminars Family: through parental re-orientation Church engagement, Government & NGOs, Advocacy Counselling

10. Women should be involved in this process of Changing the language of child-rearing No child is better or stronger than the other Emphasis should be laid on complementarity not dominance In this context: ‘evolution of consciousness’ Principles of the advocacy counselling

11. It is only in this way shall we as Africans reenact the value of interdependence which is so nicely captured in UBUNTU: ‘I am because we are, and since we are, therefore I am’ (Mbiti, 1991). Now is the time for us to change some traditions that have not proved beneficial We cannot see part of the problem & refuse to address it. Concluding Remarks

12. Therefore, what is your own position towards addressing issues of gender- based dichotomy that we all encounter in terms of gender-role, expectations, norms and values. Do you think this gender-based rhetoric contribute in any way to gender-base violence? Are we all victims & perpetrators?

13. Thank you for listening & your contributions are warmly welcomed!