1. Revising Business Messages
Chapter 6
Revising Business Messages

2. Chapter 6 Revising Tips Eliminate flabby expressions
I am pleased to inform you that. . .
We are pleased to inform you that. . .
Limit long lead-ins
I would like to take this opportunity to. . .
This letter is to inform you that. . .
Drop unnecessary opening fillers
There is every reason to believe that. . .
It is my pleasure to recommend. . .

3. Chapter 6
Revising Tips
Replace redundancies (expressions that repeat meaning or include unnecessary words)
free gift
exactly identical
Avoid indirect and pompous language
We will ascertain the problems and report forthwith.
We will determine the problems and report immediately.
Omit trite “business” phrases
Please do not hesitate. . .
Please feel free to. . .
Enclosed please find. . .
Pursuant to your request. . .

4. Chapter 6 Revising Tips Omit clichés Omit slang easier said than done
first and foremost
think outside the box
shoot from the hip
Omit slang
in the pipeline
blowing the budget
getting burned

5. Chapter 6 Revising Tips Unbury verbs
perform an analysis of
analyze
reach a conclusion that
conclude
Control exuberance to sound businesslike
extremely
totally
awesome

6. Chapter 6 Design documents for readability Enhance white space by
Adding headings
Including bulleted or numbered lists
Using short sentences
Writing short paragraphs
Setting effective margins
Use 1 to 1 1/2 –inch margins

7. Chapter 6 Design documents for readability
Choose appropriate typefaces
Arial or Times New Roman
Use 10- to 12-point font for most body text
For special effects consider:
CAPITALIZATION
Boldface
Italic
Underline

8. Chapter 6 Design documents for readability
Use vertical lists or enumerated lists to improve comprehension
Use a numbered list for items that represent a sequence or reflect a numbering system; use bullets otherwise
Use (a) and (b) within a sentence
Make lists and enumerated items parallel in grammatical structure
Add headings for quick comprehension

9. Chapter 6 Proofreading routine documents
Use the down arrow to reveal one line at a time
Read from printed copy to be safer
Look for typos, misspellings, grammar mistakes
Look for ambiguous expressions and inconsistencies
Look for factual errors

10. Chapter 6 Proofreading complex documents
Print a copy, preferably double spaced
Set copy aside and take a breather
Allow adequate time for careful proofreading
Expect errors and congratulate yourself when you find them
Read the message at least twice—once for meaning; once for grammar
Reduce your reading speed and focus on individual words
Pay attention to software markings for misspellings and grammar mistakes
Have someone else proofread the document

11. Chapter 6
Use Microsoft Word to check reading grade level of a document
Click on “FILE”
Click on “Options”
Click on “Proofing”
Check box for “Show readability statistics”
Click “OK”
With document loaded, click on “REVIEW”
Click on “Spelling & Grammar”