Presentation on theme: "Looking for love or Becoming Love?. CONNECTING Exercise Select a Partner (you dont know) 1. A & B 2. A speaks / B listens SILENTLY 3. Three topics (30."— Presentation transcript:
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. - Jesus Matthew 22:37-40
S miling to Others Your SMILE is your most powerful invitation to conversation. People look to your FACE to assess your intention - --approach, stay, retreat. (80% of assessment) Only 1 in 3 people SMILE to strangers, yet 90% of strangers will RETURN a SMILE.
A pproaching Others Three Relational Movements Increase distance (move away) Maintain distance (stay) Decrease distance (move towards) Most difficult behavior--taking the first step.
A sking Questions of Others A QUESTION is the most powerful verbal invitation to conversation. Your QUESTIONS demonstrate your interest. Focus of attention is on the other person Only 1 in 7 people are skilled in asking questions during conversation with people they know.
Types of Questions Closed -- require short responses Open – require longer responses Probing– asks for additional information
Examples of Questions Closed Do you have free time? Did you just get your hair cut? Open How are you doing? Why do you like retreats? Probing …so, what else do you like about retreats? …and what other things do you like about Bob?
ASKING QUESTIONS Exercise Select a NEW Partner 1. A asks 5-open questions of B (begin: How did you turn out so well?) 2. B asks 5-open questions of A (begin: How did you turn out so well?) 3. Join with another couple (now 4)
CONVERSATION PARTY Exercise (if time) 1. On Card / first name, 2 questions 2. Pair up, switch cards, ask questions 3. Meta-communicate compliment 4. Move to new partner / repeat process
Five Love Languages * Words Time Gifts Service Touch * Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages
1. Words 1. Compliment accomplishments Congratulations on your… 2. Acknowledge effort Im proud of your effort to… 3. Praise character I admire your honesty. 4. Compliment the invisible I appreciate that you dont… 5. Express affection I love you.
COMPLIMENTING Exercise Select a NEW Partner 1. Introduce yourselves 2. Brainstorm 3 Rules of Relationship 3. Give 3 compliments to one another
2. Time 1. Time together Quality time, no distractions 2. Time talking Sharing feelings, deep disclosure 3. Time in shared activities Activities you both enjoy (or other)
3. Gifts Gift - is something you can hold in your hand and say he/she was thinking of me. 1. Gifts you make Poem, letter, cookies, tokens, etc. 2. Gifts you buy Ring, clothing, tickets, money, etc. 3. Gift of your presence Attend special occasion
4. Service Service – Doing things the other person would like. Running an errand, helping with a work task, taking out the trash, washing the car, vacuuming, mowing the lawn, paying the bills, baby-sitting, shopping, folding the clothes, pulling weeds, cleaning the windows, and a million other acts of service.
ACTS OF SERVICE Exercise Form groups of four (4) 1. Introduce yourself and share one act of service you enjoy having done for you. 2. As a group, brainstorm unique acts of service you give those you know. 3. Meta-communicate compliments to group.
5. Touch Nonverbal Behavior – any behavior that is not spoken or written. Handshake, hug, hand on shoulder, massage, guiding behavior, kiss, and a hundred more… Be sensitive to the cultural and personal boundaries of acceptable touching behavior. When it doubt, refrain.