1. Footballinvective.com presents The 2005 Charles Brownlow Medal For Best and Fairest player in the AFL

2. and…

3. The Jo Bailey Medal For Best and Fairest Brownlow companion

4. C. Judd (West Coast Eagles) 2004 Charles Brownlow Medallist R. Twigley (West Coast Eagles) 2004 Jo Bailey Medallist

5. Mirror Mirror on the wall.. Whos the Best and Fairest of them all…?

6. Brodie Holland: someones pinched my Nanas curtains Nick Dal Santo: Well out of his depth with this one

7. Mrs Buckley: Dress by Playboy Mansion; Hair by LA porn studio Akker: that bow ties fooling no one – money cant buy class (though it looks like it can buy implants – compare with 2003) 2003

8. Eddie McGuire: What a difference 3 weeks makes

9. Jo Silvagni: The Michael Tuck of Brownlows – a proven performer, even after 16 seasons

10. Luke Hodge: Wore his standard issue Hawthorn footy boots – wont be getting any dirt on this pair either Tuck and partner: Take a bow No, no, really!

11. Matthew Lloyd: Took time out from his rocket science seminar Nice of Richo to take his sister

12. Robbo: A true lair on and off the field Matt Maguire: Not bad for Barrys whipping boy

13. Richie Vandenberg; That dress is like Hawthorns game plan – all over the shop Steven King: They breed em keen down in Geelong

14. Cameron Bruce: Nice of him to take his Mum Robert Harvey: Bet hed swap his 2 Brownlows for a real coach any day

15. Christie Malthouse: More than a few blokes would like to boundary ride her Mrs Hird: Hard to fault this year

16. Scott West; You can take the boy out of Footscray, but you cant take Footscray out of the boy Lindsay Gilbee; Both over-rated

17. Jonathan Brown: Apparently shes from Warnambool too. Which makes her all the more impressive. Kane Cornes: Did he find her at the Alberton greyhound stop on the way over?

18. Jason Johnson: Unspectacular on the field; off-field is another matter Daniel Cross: Lucky its school holidays so she could stay out late (dress by Kermit the Frog)

19. Spider: Kindly took his parole officer Giansiracusa: Shes easily the best thing to come out of the Whitten Oval since E.J.

20. Trent Croad; Outstanding chassis; shame about the duco

21. Pavlich: Hell be hoping all his other limbs are still in working order Fanta Pants Ling: Just goes to show that any bloke can pick up in Geelong

22. Andrew McLeod: Straight off the set of Bold and the Beautiful Chad Fletcher: Nice drumsticks

23. Mark Coughlan: Can I see your IDs please? Shane Woewoedin: Yep, still a has-been Heath Black: Someone call Sweden - ABBA want their dress back

24. Andrew Embley: Finger painting, anyone? Daniel Kerr: An honourable runner- up in both medals

25. Wellsy: Rising star qualities in every respect. 9.5 out of 10 Demetriou: The Fat Controller

26. Ben Cousins: Mr Consistency Nick Riewoldt: Like the rest of his season, we expected more from him

27. Luke Ball: are they shoes or did a couple of seagulls crap on his feet? Essendon, M Johnson: 3 Votes!

28. Adam Simpson: Like his team, an under-achiever this September Ben Rutten: is she a time traveller from a Cyndi Lauper video clip, circa 1984?

29. and the winner is…

30. Back-to-back Baileys for the girl from the West. A Brownlow great – shes a modern day Bob Skilton