Unified Family Court Training Peter Qualliotine Director of Men’s Accountability Organization for Prostitution Survivors

In a three-week period, men in King County, Washington searched online to buy commercial sex 107,000 times

King County Prosecuting Attorney’s Office has identified over one hundred websites where commercial sex is sold

Understanding Prostitution as Gender Based Violence

The Social Construction of Gender

“Act Like a Man”

“Most men think that sex will provide them with a sense of being alive, connected, that sex will offer closeness, intimacy, pleasure. And more often than not sex simply does not deliver the goods. This fact does not lead men to cease obsessing about sex; it intensifies their lust and their longing.” - bell hooks

The “Good Girl/ Bad Girl” Dichotomy

“Prostitution isn't like anything else. Rather, everything else is like prostitution because it is the model for women's condition.” -Evelina Giobbe W.H.I.S.P.E.R.

Bystanders Buyers Pimps Victim/ Survivors PROSTITUTION ECOSYSTEM

Program Areas Survivor Services Community Education Men’s Accountability

Robust exit services for victim/survivors (adults and children) should be the central focus of a coordinated community response to commercial sexual exploitation.

Demand Reduction, Prevention and Community Education programming should be survivor-informed and accountable to survivors.

Addressing Demand There is no Demand for Trafficking; Demand is for sexual access to the bodies of women and children in prostitution. Men’s feelings of Entitlement drive Demand.

OPS and King County Prosecuting Attorneys Office received funding from Demand Abolition in 2014 to reduce Demand for Commercial Sex in King County

Direct Interventions with Commercial Sex Buyers and potential Buyers along a spectrum of Prevention and Intervention

Spectrum of Direct Interventions focused on Individual Buyers and Potential Buyers Parenting Boys Teaching Empathy and Respect to Children Middle and High School Prevention Curricula Awareness promoting Men’s Accountability Online Deterrence Outreach Interruption Arrest Prosecution and Conviction Post-Conviction Intervention Program Primary Prevention Secondary Prevention Tertiary Prevention/ Intervention

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” -Henry David Thoreau

“I feel horrible. I realize that I was using prostitutes as receptacles for my own shame. They didn’t deserve that” - SSE Participant

Comparing Sex Buyers with Men Who Don’t Buy Sex: summary of findings and recommendations As in other studies of sex buyers, sex buyers expressed ambivalence, guilt and negative thinking about buying sex. They felt just as many negative feelings after buying sex as they did before. Many sex buyers sought sex that lacked emotional connection. They had little objection if the woman they purchased pretended to like them or actively disliked performing the act of prostitution. Sex buyers repeatedly commented that they liked the power relationship in prostitution and that they liked the freedom from any relationship obligation.

Comparing Sex Buyers with Men Who Don’t Buy Sex: summary of findings and recommendations Both sex buyers and non-sex buyers evidenced extensive knowledge of the physical and psychological harms of prostitution. Two thirds of both the sex buyers and the non-sex buyers observed that a majority of women are lured, tricked, or trafficked into prostitution. Many of the men had an awareness of the economic coercion and the lack of alternatives in women's entry into prostitution.

Comparing Sex Buyers with Men Who Don’t Buy Sex: summary of findings and recommendations Almost all of the sex buyers and non-sex buyers shared the opinion that minor children are almost always available for prostitution in bars, massage parlors, escort and other prostitution in Boston.

Comparing Sex Buyers with Men Who Don’t Buy Sex: summary of findings and recommendations The knowledge that the women have been exploited, coerced, pimped, or trafficked failed to deter sex buyers from buying sex. Many of the sex buyers had used women who were controlled by pimps at the time they used her for sex. Sex buyers in this study seemed to justify their involvement in the sex industry by stating their belief that women in prostitution are essentially “different from non-prostituting women.”

Comparing Sex Buyers with Men Who Don’t Buy Sex: summary of findings and recommendations Both sex buyers and non-sex buyers subscribed to the theory that prostitution reduces the likelihood of rape. Although half of the study’s sample did not buy sex, many of them were tolerant of prostitution for men who did. These findings suggest that efforts to deter sex buyers should expand their focus from men who buy sex to the general public’s attitudes that support prostitution.

“Why did we need a new model program?” Traditional “John School” Diversion One class Large group lecture format Claims effectiveness “Shotgun Approach” Information based “Stopping Sexual Exploitation: a Program for Men” Post Conviction Multiple sessions Individual and small group Interactive exercises Acknowledges limitations Clear pedagogical goals Process based

Three Process- Based goals of SSE

“This class helped me take a good long hard look at myself and my relationships. I want to use this to make my relationship with my wife a mutual relationship rather than a controlling one where I am trying to control her.” - SSE Participant

What we are asking of our partners:

Stopping Sexual Exploitation: a Program for Men (SSE)

The program consists of 2 sessions of Motivational Interviewing followed by an 8-week group class.

Motivational Interviewing Sessions Motivational Interviewing is a method that works on facilitating and engaging intrinsic motivation within the participant in order to change behavior. MI is a goal-oriented, client-centered counseling style for eliciting behavior change by helping clients to explore and resolve ambivalence. First session is by phone Second session (same counselor) is in person one week prior to group starting at the venue where group program will be held

The class consists of 8 modules designed to have participants explore the roots and motivations as well as the impact of the practice of sex buying. 1. Male gender socialization: Myths of Male Sexuality and the Construction of Male Sexual Identity 2. Female gender socialization and prostitution as gender based violence 3. Pornography, Sexual Objectification and the Sexual Violence continuum 4. Domestic Violence, Pimping and Prostitution 5. Oppression and Prostitution 6. Vulnerability 7. Mutuality and Consent 8. the Will to Change: Where do we go from here?

“I really liked this class, but eight weeks is not enough. We have been in this problem for years so eight weeks is not long enough, we need more.” - SSE Participant

SSE EVALUATION EDUCATIONAL PROGRAM NOT A CLINICAL INTERVENTION PROVIDE INFORMATION AND EDUCATION CHANGE IN BELIEFS, ATTITUDES, AND BEHAVIORS NORM CHANGE TOWARD SEX BUYING

GUIDELINES FOR DEVELOPING SSE PRoGRAM EVALUATION WHAT WILL BE EVALUATED? ASPECTS OF THE PROGRAM CONSIDERED FOR JUDGING PROGRAM PERFORMANCE STANDARDS FOR SUCCESS EVIDENCE FOR HOW PROGRAM HAS PERFORMED CONCLUSIONS ON PROGRAM EFFECTIVENESS EVALUATION DATA USED TO IMPROVE /ADUST PROGRAM

SSE PROGRAM EVALUATION 24 QUESTIONS 7 QUALITATIVE RESPONSES CATEGORIES HAS YOUR THINKING CHANGED ABOUT PROSTITUTION AFTER PARTICIPATING IN SSE? WILL YOU BUY SEX AGAIN? IMPACT OF SEX BUYING? Program Improvement?

HAS YOUR THINKING CHANGED - “YES” 100% Made me aware of the hell these girls go through and I never wanted to exploit them again. I feel like I know the underlying issues which lead men to prostitution & gives you a way to solve for it. Has given me a new perspective on the sex for money business It helps me to bring changes on me as well as my friends To try to find another way other than sex More thoughtful of what is typically involved Before I never thought about the prostitute side of the equation. before it seemed like a victimless crime I had no idea the horrible things women in prostitution go through. I realized that there is more to prostitution than buying sex that many societal problems surround it and many injustices are present in the process. After this program I learn and realize that what I do is totally unacceptable I didn’t know what was behind it before, like the pimp stuff and abuse It was enlightening to know some of the facts, and realize how detrimental prostitution is. I realized that there is more to prostitution than buying sex that many societal problems surround it and many injustices are present in the process. I have a better understanding of the "person" behind the prostitution.

DO YOU THINK YOU WILL BUYSEX AGAIN? 95% - “NO” (N = 41)

IMPACT OF SEX BUYING Disagree – Agree (Mean) I will talk to other men about negative impact of buying sex 4.14 Prostitution buying had a negative impact on my life 4.69 Prostitution buying had a negative impact on others in my life 4.77 Prostitution buying had a negative impact on prostituted women 4.6

What did you learn in this program? Learned how what we learned about being a man growing up continues to influence us and make us feel entitled. It's okay to unpack how you feel. There are slippery slopes we all can go down; so stay cautious & accountable on what's driving it. 1) How much a nightmare of a life women in prostitution live. 2) Learn a lot about how to develop and improve my relationship with people, especially my wife I learned about how prostitution isn't really a choice and that even if I did treat her nice it won't stop the pain that she might receive from others. We need to change how we men think about sex, love, relationships That buying sex doesn't fulfill my needs and causes harm. Higher level of empathy for vulnerable people & women involved in sexual exploitation. Looking back changed the way I think moving forward To change this problem with prostitution I need to change first Too many things, it was a full program and awesome modules Keep this program going to educate the community & spread the word

What Did You Learn About Men’s Accountability Men who pay for sex increase the demand and help to keep prostitution thriving. That it is just as much our fault for buying sex than the pimp who forces her on the street. It's absolutely needed to educate men about this. We are responsible for perpetuating this market. Men are rarely accountable & can't figure it out. What is wrong with them.

How Would You Improve the Program? Make it available in other languages, maybe do a distance learning alternative to people that want to do this voluntarily. Bilingual classes Preventative program and enroll more men The program was very useful and informative

“ This class opened my eyes to things about myself and my life that are hard to face. I related these things to myself, and the stuff that I thought didn't pertain to me. I learned how I can change myself which can help to change these things for others too. I never cared for or understood how these things really do affect me until now” -SSE Cohort 1 Participant

Peter Qualliotine Director of Men’s Accountability