What is a bully?

Hurts someone’s body or feelings Repeatedly Something you wouldn’t do to a friend There’s an imbalance of power (taller, bigger, stronger, older, more popular, more money, smarter, more friends…)

True or False? Kids who are bullied are good students and almost always have good attendance - Boys who bully are usually bigger and stronger than their victims Most kids who are bullied don’t report it Bullies have trouble making friends More than half of bullying incidents stop when a peer intervenes Most bullies stop violent or aggressive behavior as adults Over 3 million students are victims of bullying each year Majority of bullies are boys Bullies do poorly in school compared to others who do not bully Bullying is inevitable Sticks and stones will break my bones….

Did you know? Origin of the word BULLY – It used to mean TOTAL OPPOSITE of today: it meant friend, family member or sweetheart. Came from Dutch “boel” – meaning “brother”

There are four different kinds of bullying Physical Social Verbal Cyber

What does bullying look like?

Physical Hitting Kicking Pushing Spitting Grabbing Taking and/or damaging someone’s belongings

Social Spreading rumors Purposely excluding someone Refusing to talk to someone Trying to hurt someone’s feelings Gossiping

Verbal Taunting or teasing Threatening Making offensive remarks

Cyber Using technology to send mean texts, emails, tweets or snap chats Spreading rumors on social media Posting embarrassing pictures or videos Creating fake profiles 24/7 – nowhere to hide

“Just joking” VS bullying – what is crossing the line? Just joking/teasing Not intended to be mean Everyone is having fun Friendly tone Encourages friendship Maybe lightens a tense moment Stops right away if someone is upset Bullying Intent is to hurt Angry tone Also showing off Doesn’t stop when asked Aren’t friends

Why are some people bullied? No apparent reason! They look like they won’t stand up for themselves They have few friends around them They are different

How are people different? Everyone who…Stand up Has a brother Has a sister Has a pet It’s your first year at Bear Creek Plays a sport Born in Washington Has brown hair Not born in Washington Whose favorite food is pizza Has traveled out of the US Likes vegetables Plays video games Wears a helmet when they bike Knows everyone’s name in your class you, or a family member speaks more than one language Considers yourself tall

What does bullying feel like? Sad Embarrassed Scared Angry Hopeless Low self confidence Not liking school

Bystanders If you do nothing, you’re doing something NEGATIVE Actively join in Encourages the bully (laughs, cheers) Silently watches (gives an audience) Stands up for or sides with the bully POSITIVE Goes for an adult Walks away (no audience) Stands up for the victim Creates an “out” “(hey – they need you in the office”, “you said you’d play with me today”) Supports the victim afterwards (I saw what happened and you totally didn’t deserve that!)

Bystanders are important! 70-85% of bullying takes place in front of peers Almost never happens when adults are watching Most bystanders want to do something

Why don’t more people help?? Afraid to get hurt or become a victim Don’t like the victim – thinks they “deserve it” Feel powerless Think it’s none of their business Think telling an adult won’t help or will make it worse Don’t know what to do

How to deal with bullies Show confidence – stand up straight Don’t hide or pull your hoodie over your face Stay calm – bullies like reactions Pretend you don’t hear them, ignore them Stay within sight of a teacher or group of people Walk with friends Find things that make you feel good about yourself Join a group (scouts, music, sports, church/synagogue) Remember you’re awesome! That doesn’t change just because the bully doesn’t see it Tell an adult

3 Steps!

Who could you tell? Someone at home and someone at school. Teacher Recess supervisor Bus driver Mrs. White Parents Friend’s parent Aunt/uncle/grandparent

No matter what anybody says…