RESOLVING CONFLICTS

Passive accepting or allowing what happens or what others do, without active response or resistance. Examples?

Aggressive ready or likely to attack or confront; characterized by or resulting from aggression. Examples?

Assertive having or showing a confident and forceful personality Examples?

What is a conflict? Any clash of ideas or interests The way we deal with conflict will determine whether the conflict will end in a healthy way

Recognizing Signs of Conflict Disagreement- The first and surest sign that a conflict is happening Emotions- feelings of frustration, resentment, or anger Other’s behaviors- Noticing another person becoming angry or frustrated about a disagreement

How to Avoid Conflict  Pick your battles- many conflicts aren’t worth having. Avoid the ones that aren’t important to you  Respect different opinions- everyone has a right to his/her own opinion. You shouldn’t feel the need to always change other’s opinions  Take a break- Putting off a conflict for a short time can give you a time to think about it. You may decide that the conflict is unnecessary

The Conflict Cycle Conflict Response to conflict Consequences of Response to Conflict Attitudes about conflict

Express Yourself Staying focused in these situation are often difficult, yet extremely important Expressing yourself in a positive manner will allow the other side to hear what you have to say If you speak angry or frustrated, the other side will probably stop listening If you feel like you are losing your temper, STOP! Take a few breaths, and remind yourself to stay calm.

Body Language Communication that is done by the body rather than words How you stand Eye contact Facial expressions

Listening Use Active Listening  Listening to the to the other person, thinking about it, and either asking questions or restating what the person said  This type of listening allows you to understand people better and lets people know you are listening to them

Resolving Conflicts Negotiation- Act of discussing issues of a conflict to reach an agreement Compromise- solution to a conflict in which each side gives up something to reach an agreement Collaboration- both sides work together to get what they want Mediation- process where another person, called a mediator, listens to both sides of the conflict and then offers solutions to the conflict.

CONFLICTS AT SCHOOL

Teasing  Ignore it  Make a joke  Confront the teaser

Bullying Ignore the bully- If they see it doesn’t bother you, they often leave you alone Talk to the bully- Tell them how it makes you feel and ask why they need to pick on you Stand up to the bully- Be assertive and tell the bully you will not put up with their behavior any longer. If they keep bullying you, you will report it Report the bully- If bullying continues or violence occurs, report the bully to an authority figure (administration, teacher, school police officer, etc.)

Conflict with Teachers  Pick the right time to talk  Stay Calm  Focus on solving the problem

Cultural Conflict  This school is made up of different people of races, religions, and backgrounds  These differences can sometimes cause anxiety, fear, and anger  The key to dealing with this kind of conflict is communication. Talk to someone that is different than you and you might find out that you aren't so different after all.

CONFLICT AND VIOLENCE

Conflict can lead to violence Lack of Communication- share your feelings openly and honestly. People can talk for hours and still not communicate well Aggression- be careful if a person is using aggressive speech or body language, or entering into your personal space. Anger- Watch for signs that a person is angry, such as screaming and crying Group Pressure- sometimes people like to see fights and encourage them to become violent. This is very powerful peer pressure because they don’t want to look weak in front of friends/peers

Controlling Your Anger Take a break Exercise Talk to someone Stop and think Get help

Choose Your Words Speak openly and honestly Be sure to only use words that explain how you feel Do not use abusive or threatening language Do not make demands or threats Avoid words that threaten the other person, such as insults Avoid using the YOU. It comes across as accusing or threatening. Use “I” statements instead