“Perfect Date”

Quiz Question Describe the difference between emotional and sexual intimacy.

Emotional Intimacy – Sharing thoughts and feelings, caring for and respecting others, and learning to trust one another. Emotional Intimacy – Sharing thoughts and feelings, caring for and respecting others, and learning to trust one another. Sexual Intimacy – Sharing sexual feelings and sexual contact. Sexual Intimacy – Sharing sexual feelings and sexual contact.

Love vs Infatuation Infatuation Jealousy Jealousy Clingy Clingy Idealized images Idealized images Fear of losing your partner Fear of losing your partner Built on physical attraction Built on physical attraction One person giving more than receiving One person giving more than receiving Depends on the relationship to make you feel important Depends on the relationship to make you feel important One person frequently breaks promises One person frequently breaks promises

Love vs Infatuation Love Honesty, respect, and trust Honesty, respect, and trust Mutual giving and receiving Mutual giving and receiving Partners have a balanced interest in other areas of life Partners have a balanced interest in other areas of life Both people are individuals apart from relationship Both people are individuals apart from relationship Both people feel at ease with the other Both people feel at ease with the other

Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships Relationship Wheels

What do you WANT/LIKE in a partner (Qualities, Traits, Personal Characteristics; NOT External Qualities)? What DON’T you want/like in a partner?

Discussion Points: What differences of opinion did you hear in your groups? What differences of opinion did you hear in your groups? What did the females learn that surprised them about what males like and dislike? What did the females learn that made them feel especially good? What did the females learn that surprised them about what males like and dislike? What did the females learn that made them feel especially good? What did the males learn that surprised them about what females like and dislike? What did the males learn that made them feel especially good? What did the males learn that surprised them about what females like and dislike? What did the males learn that made them feel especially good?

Why Date? Helps you learn what characteristics you like in others Helps you learn what characteristics you like in others What kinds of people you are compatible with What kinds of people you are compatible with Helps self-confidence (knowing that you are attractive to someone else) Helps self-confidence (knowing that you are attractive to someone else) Builds mental, emotional, social, and spiritual intimacy Builds mental, emotional, social, and spiritual intimacy

Successful Dating Don’t give up if rejected Don’t give up if rejected Be courageous enough to date someone you like, even if others don’t agree with your taste Be courageous enough to date someone you like, even if others don’t agree with your taste Don’t break a date unless you absolutely must Don’t break a date unless you absolutely must Be on time Be on time Don’t expect every date to be wonderful Don’t expect every date to be wonderful Always let your date know if you had a good time Always let your date know if you had a good time Don’t accept rude, inappropriate behavior or actions from your date Don’t accept rude, inappropriate behavior or actions from your date Set rules and boundaries Set rules and boundaries

Dating Contract (with parents) I know being allowed to go out on dates is a privilege. I respect that my parents love me and want to keep me safe. My parents respect that I am becoming a young adult and want the privilege of dating openly. With that in mind, we agree: I know being allowed to go out on dates is a privilege. I respect that my parents love me and want to keep me safe. My parents respect that I am becoming a young adult and want the privilege of dating openly. With that in mind, we agree:

Dating Contract I will be home - in the door and date gone - by my curfew. I will be home - in the door and date gone - by my curfew. I will tell my parents where I am going to be and with whom for the entire time I am gone. I will tell my parents where I am going to be and with whom for the entire time I am gone. My responsibilities come first. (Define responsibilities below or on the back side of this page.) I will keep up with these responsibilities or possibly lose my dating privileges. My responsibilities come first. (Define responsibilities below or on the back side of this page.) I will keep up with these responsibilities or possibly lose my dating privileges. The consequences for not following through with these limits on dating are: (Break it down to first offense, second offense, etc.) The consequences for not following through with these limits on dating are: (Break it down to first offense, second offense, etc.)

Dating Contract To keep communicating about our family values on dating, relationships and physical contact, including sexual relations. (Define your family values below or on a separate but attached sheet.) To keep communicating about our family values on dating, relationships and physical contact, including sexual relations. (Define your family values below or on a separate but attached sheet.) I will introduce my date to my parents before I will be able to go out alone on a date with him/her. I understand that I may go out on group dates with friends my parents know without introductions, but still keeping open communication. I will introduce my date to my parents before I will be able to go out alone on a date with him/her. I understand that I may go out on group dates with friends my parents know without introductions, but still keeping open communication. I will not date anyone years_____ older than me or anyone ____years younger than me. I will not date anyone years_____ older than me or anyone ____years younger than me. I am allowed to go on ______ dates per week, this includes visiting at each other's homes but not group or school outings. I am allowed to go on ______ dates per week, this includes visiting at each other's homes but not group or school outings.

Dating Brainstorm What kinds of activities could you and your date do: What kinds of activities could you and your date do: That does not involve sexual activities That does not involve sexual activities That does not cost any money That does not cost any money That both people will find fun That both people will find fun That allows the two of you to be comfortable and get to know each other better That allows the two of you to be comfortable and get to know each other better

Create the “Perfect Date” What are your dating rules (p.458)? What are your dating rules (p.458)? What would you do on the perfect date? What would you do on the perfect date? Refusal Skills: How would you respond to the situations on the backside of your worksheet? (p. 35) Refusal Skills: How would you respond to the situations on the backside of your worksheet? (p. 35) “Talking to Parents” “Talking to Parents”

Chapter 2 Section 3 Resisting Pressure from Others

The Dating Game (1972)