How to Make Your Writing Better

Common Errors This is a list of mistakes that almost 100 percent of students in both my journalism classes made.

The too-long sentence

Incorrect “The Hunger Games,” which is based on a best-selling young adult book, tells the story of a girl named Katniss who has to compete in a televised fight-to-the-death and stars the actress Jennifer Lawrence, who made her name in another movie called “Winter’s Bone,” which is set in the Ozark mountains and is really sad.

Correct “The Hunger Games,” which is based on a best-selling young adult book, tells the story of a girl named Katniss. She has to compete in a televised fight-to-the-death and stars the actress Jennifer Lawrence. She made her name in “Winter’s Bone,” a sad movie set in the Ozark mountains.

How can you avoid long sentences? Look at it. Does it look more like a paragraph than a sentence? Read it all at once out loud. If you feel breathless, it’s too long. Look at the number of “ands,” buts” and “becauses.” If you have more than one, consider breaking it up.

The run-on sentence

Incorrect: In the near future, I plan on opening a restaurant, I don’t know where it will be, but I’m excited. Correct: In the near future, I plan on opening a restaurant. I don’t know where it will be, but I’m excited..

Incorrect: I want to improve my athletic skills, so that I can play in the World Cup, soccer is my passion, and I love it. Correct: I want to improve my athletic skills, so that I can play in the World Cup. Soccer is my passion, and I love it.

The incomplete sentence

Incorrect: Harlem is a wonderful place to live and raise children. A neighborhood with a rich, colorful history. Correct: Harlem is a wonderful place to live and raise children, and it has a rich, colorful history. Correct: Harlem is a wonderful place to live and raise children. It has a rich, colorful history.

Too many unnecessary words. Simple = better Wordy  The issue of prejudice is confusing to me due to the fact that I am not cognizant of skin color..

Better! Prejudice confuses me, because I don’t notice skin color.

Wordy  I was made aware of the fact that my uncle died when I tuned into the television news.

Better! I turned on the news and found out my uncle had died.

Repetitiveness INCORRECT: I love fishing and hanging out with friends. Like I said before, I love to fish. INCORRECT: Visiting my mother makes me happy. My dog makes me happy too. I can’t believe how happy playing baseball makes me. CORRECT: Visiting my mother makes me happy. I love my dog and baseball. Or…… The things that make me happy: visiting my mother, my dog, playing baseball.

To repeat myself…don’t repeat yourself! In two years, I see myself with a great job. A year later, I see myself married with a child. I see myself quitting the job after the baby to start my own magazine.

In journalism, you don’t need to “re-state the thesis” like in essay writing. Find different words. I love soccer and love baseball. I love soccer and enjoy playing baseball. Never say: Like I said before or As I mentioned previously. How to avoid being repetitive:

Incorrect and inconsistent CAPS; Use caps for proper names; none of these words, from your essays, need CAPS: high school, political science, event planner, public relations, journalism, media, creative writing, grandfather, graduate school, newsroom, sociology, board of education, producer, director, master’s degree

Passive Voice--uck! Be active, not passive. Don’t let something be done by somebody or something.

Not: The textbook was read by me.

Better! I read the textbook.

Replace all forms of the “to be” verb with active or action verbs Get rid of: there is, are, were, was, has been, could be…..etc. Do this EVEN if you have to re-work the sentence. Just don’t change the meaning.

Not  There are three things that I care about.

Better  I care about three things.

Not  Professor Villarosa is my favorite instructor.

Better I love Professor Villarosa—intensely. I adore Professor Villarosa. To me, Professor Villarosa rocks. Professor Villarosa makes me happy.

Not  The Seahawks were the winners against the Broncos.

Better The Seahawks beat the Broncos. Poor Broncos—the Seahawks wiped the floor with them. Seattle creamed Denver. The Seahawks kicked some Bronco tail! The Broncos lost to the (far superior) Seahawks.

checklist Use spell check! Make sure all names are correct. Unless you’re totally sure, look it up. Read everything over to check for careless errors or typos. Even better, read it over out loud. Get rid of any passive voice. Replace “to be” with active or action verbs.