1. Academic Tone

2. Academic tone is made up of word choice and sentence structure.

3. An essay in academic tone uses “academic- sounding” words.

4. Above all, academic tone strives for accuracy and specificity.

5. An essay in academic tone uses a variety of sentence structures. The academic essay will use both long and short sentences.

6. In academic essays, avoid the following: Grammar, spelling, punctuation errors Second person ("you" and "your“ and “you’re”) Asking questions Contractions (don’t, won’t, can’t) Beginning sentences with conjunctions

7. Directives (i.e., "Do this, do that.") The word “being” as a verb Informal, conversational tone or slang Wordiness

8. Ending a sentence with a preposition Example (incorrect): – Ice cream is what we go there for. – What do you end the sentence with? Example (correct): – We go there for ice cream. – With what do you end a sentence?

9. I brought my mitt, my ball, and my bat to the game.

10. Vague expressions (“one” “the man,” "people," “society“ ) Passive voice ("The book was read by the girl.") Lists, bullets, outlines Idioms

11. Read through your essay draft. Where you have used the word “you” (the second person POV), replace with “target audience.” Where you have used the vague term “one” replace with “target audience.”

12. Proof-Reading Drafts 1.Form groups of no more than 4 2.Check MLA Format 3.Read through the essay. Circle any grammar, spelling, punctuation errors. 4.Find the thesis.

13. 5. Check introductory and concluding paragraphs. Do they use appropriate introductory and concluding strategies? Use terms from the rubric for your comments. 6. Check body paragraph structure. Use terms from the rubric in your comments

14. Before You Turn in Your Final Draft Read the grading rubric and rate yourself: you are graded wholly on structure and analysis

15. Toys for Tots A little girl! She’s no ordinary little girl. She’s dressed super slutty. She’s a toy, a Bratz doll for kids. Aren’t toys like this bad for little girls? Barbie is like this and so is My Little Pony. They are all being sexy with big hair and slutty makeup. I think this teaches girls to be slutty themselves. Stupid. Nowadays, there aren’t many role models for girls. Toys influence them to be bad. This is very bad. This should change. Toys are bad for little girls.

16. A little girl! ------------------------------------------------------Fragment She’s dressed super slutty.---------------------------------------Slang She’s a toy, a Bratz doll for kids. ------------------------------- Slang Aren’t toys like this bad for little girls?------------------------Question Barbie is like this and so is My Little Pony.----------------Unclear pronoun They are all being sexy with big hair and slutty makeup.------”being”/slang Stupid.--------------------------------------------------------------------Fragment Nowadays, there aren’t many role models for girls.-------------”Nowadays” This is very bad.----------------------------unclear pronoun/ “bad” is unclear

17. Toys for Tots A chubby, two year old girl holds her mother’s hand as they cross the street. This, however, is no ordinary two-year old. Her hair has been backcombed so it rises two inches from her skull. She wears black eyeliner, purple eye shadow, and pink lipstick. She is dressed in scanty pink and yellow lace: lingerie for the petite. If this were a real little girl, I think we’d all agree that she is dressed far too provocatively for her age. This is not a real-girl, though. She is a toy, a Bratz Babydoll. Toys for girls over-sexualize our children and teach young girls to dress provocatively. The Bratz doll is but one example. Everything from Barbie to My Little Pony carries a dangerous signifier of adult sexuality. For example, My Little Pony wears seductive eye lashes, half closed. If this weren’t a toy, the expression would be reminiscent of a model in a Calvin Klein ad. This is not healthy. The little girls who own these toys are learning that this is the ideal standard of beauty. Girls will grow up believing they have to look like this to be as loved and accepted as their favorite toys. It is altogether the wrong message to send to our little girls.

18. In conclusion, I think it’s important for parents to be aware of this issue. If we all come together and make our feelings known, things will change. We will write letters. We will organize boycotts. We will make a difference. Toys today are teaching our young girls a dangerous message: sexy and provocative is the way they should be.