Conflict Resolution/ Monthly Contact

WHO ARE YOU? Local Rep for WISE : Know the policies, read the handbooks. Advocate: You are there to help the student Mediator: Work with families and students to keep the lines of communication open. Your duties require that you preform monthly contact with the families, students and schools.

Development Actively encourage your host family, students and schools to approach you with their concerns, large or small. Develop trust and openness with your students, families and schools so that they will feel comfortable seeking help from you. Learn to be impartial, collect the facts without allowing them to be colored by your personal emotions and judgments. Learn to be detailed in your reporting Ask open ended questions.

Documentation and Reporting Even small concerns can lead to much larger problems if ignored. Document and report issues on your monthly report or counseling report or s. Report issues promptly! Not weeks or months later. Ask for statements from the host family, students, schools, or anyone that is involved. DOCUMENTATION IS THE KEY

Two Sides and the Truth Collect all sides of the story In spite of recurring themes, each situation is unique. If in doubt regarding the seriousness of the issues, discuss it with your RD Keep an open mind, be honest with HF, and student and help them with appropriate ways to communicate honestly with each other. Let them know you will report the issues to your RD, RD to WISE, WISE to the OSA, OSA to natural parents.

Accurately and Objectively Collect Information Stick to the facts. Avoid reporting emotions. Verify all facts with those involved. Cross-checking events with all parties. Ask : Who, when and where Be objective. Don’t make judgments.

Example of a Successful Contact ‘Called and left a message on and regarding settling in and particularly about Jorge’s participation in the school fundraiser on the 14 th. Jorge called back on He could not attend the fundraiser but will be at my pizza and bowling party on Saturday. He says he likes his family and has been cooking many meals from his home country. He has made two good friends, Mike and Josh in his U.S. History class and they are all going to the movies Friday night.’

Incorrect and Incomplete Example: ‘Called and left a message. Will try again tomorrow’ ‘Steve says everything is good, no problems.’ ‘host mom says family is good, they cook together. Has had a few challenging times.’ ‘not much has changed since last report.’

Example of a Successful and Detailed Contact ‘Called Karen on She says the family is doing well. All of the relatives have met Kalotta now and everyone has been able to bond, including grandpa. Karen admitted that it has been hard to adjust to a teenager. Having only Mary her 7 year old, she has never had to worry about boys in the home. They are all understanding that there will be a few bumps in the road but they are all willing to listen and apply the needed parenting skills they are learning. They are getting along well with Kalotta and she is sharing lots of German dishes with the family at meal time.’

Student Questions What do you like most about your family so far? What is your favorite part of your new school? What activities have you joined in school? Who are your new friends and what are their names? What is your favorite food or meal with your family? What did you get from your family for Christmas? What are you current grades? Have you seen a good movie and what was it?

Host Family Questions What was your first activity together? How are you and your family adjusting to your student? What American sporting events have you introduced to your student? Are you planning to dress up for Halloween? How will you teach your student about Thanksgiving? What volunteer projects are you planning with your student? What new communities have you taken your student to see.

Family Mediation Meeting If the family and student can’t resolve the issue you will need to arrange a meeting. Clarify the issues Develop Solutions: Ask each person to come up with some solutions to help the problem. It is certainty appropriate to make additional suggestion using WISE policies as your guide. Remain Objective: There are two sides to every thing.

Checking your own objectivity Do I have strong feeling of support for one person or side in this issue? Are my personal beliefs having an impact on how I feel about this issue? Do I feel defensive about this issue? Am I personally invested in one outcome versus another? If you answer ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you need to step back, it may be necessary to involve another impartial person (your RD) to help with the solution or reporting. If you are unwilling to complete your monthly report and documentation of issues, this may not be the job for you.

PLAN OF ACTION When all sides have agreed to a specific course of action, help set a timeline of implementation. Write down your decisions, and have all the parties sign your counseling report. Follow up: Once a course of action has been determined, continue to monitor the situation. Encourage reconciliation and give praise when a goal is met.

Language to Avoid This boy is rude and arrogant. I would kick him out of my house too. The family is sick and tired of his antics. What kind of a parent sends students like this? Instead, try phrasing it like this: The boy’s behavior is perceived as rude and arrogant. (give examples) I can understand the HF’s frustration. The family is having difficulty being continually patient with his inappropriate behavior. I am concerned that she may not have been properly screened by our OSA.

Useful Phrases and Key Words when Reporting Apparently: Sara apparently feels that she does not need a curfew. Allegedly: Felix allegedly borrowed the clothing without the host brother’s permission Feel: The family feel they should not have to remind her to do her chores and homework. It has been reported: It has been reported by the school Adele is receiving a failing grade in History.

REMEMBER DOCUMENTATION IS THE KEY