Ten Things Adults Should Know about Bullying Dr. April C. Foreman “It’s All About The Kids”

Bullies and Targets are Decent Kids And they want to be proud of their behavior

Most kids are looking for ways to connect with their peers And adults can minimize bullying when we show kids positive ways to connect as a group

Most bullies will use their social power and status to help others If adults give them clear guidance about social skills and status

Adults don’t need to feel helpless and anxious about bullying Adults are the most powerful people in our children’s universe

Playing “Law and Order” with bullies is not effective “Justice” is not as good of a solution as “Resolution”

It’s usually a mistake to tell a target to ignore a bully It usually motivates a bully to try harder

Making targets responsible for stopping the bullying does not work Bullies and adults have the most power and most responsibility for resolving a conflict

Bullies usually need help managing normal feelings in healthy ways Kids need adults to teach them how to handle boredom, jealousy, competition, insecurity, and irritation.

Avoid character judgments about kids We shouldn’t blame kids for needing guidance about character. We’re the ones who are supposed to teach them.

Ten things adults should know about Cyberbullying Cyberspace is just a new outlet for the same old bullying. 58% of kids know more about computers and cyberspace than their parents Children should be just as well supervised in cyberspace as they are IRL Bullies feel more anonymous in cyberspace, so they do things they wouldn’t do IRL

Ten things adults should know about Cyberbulling, con’t. Kids may *feel* more anonymous, but all interactions in cyberspace leave permanent evidence. It is easier to avoid bullies in cyberspace than IRL It is easier to document and report bullying in cyberspace than IRL Cyberbullies take more legal risks than IRL bullies

Ten things adults should know about Cyberbulling, con’t. ISPs, phone companies, and networking sites want you to document and report bullying. Children need as much guidance about nettiquette as they do about IRL behavior.