1. What is Bullying and How to Handle It Can Fishing help change a bully’s spots?

2. Bullying What do bullies DO? What do bullies DO? Why do kids get picked on? Where does bullying take place? 2

3. How is BULLYING defined? It is defined as a pattern of repeated behavior that is meant to hurt someone (physically, emotionally, or socially) and has an imbalance of power (physical or social). It is defined as a pattern of repeated behavior that is meant to hurt someone (physically, emotionally, or socially) and has an imbalance of power (physical or social). Bully/Victim conflict is often confused with normal peer conflict, especially by parents. Bully/Victim conflict is often confused with normal peer conflict, especially by parents. 3

4. What is the difference between Bullying and Normal Peer Conflict ? BULLYING Imbalance of Power there is a winner and a loser Frequent event Frequent event Work with Bully and Victim separately NORMAL Balance of Power Could be friends Happens once or very sporadically Mediation Effective 4

5. 3 Things Bullies Want: 1. Power 1. Power On their side or AGAINST them/scared On their side or AGAINST them/scared 2. Respect 2. Respect If you get mad, you are disrespecting them If you get mad, you are disrespecting them 3. Popularity 3. Popularity Protect them or mean and tough Protect them or mean and tough 5

6. 3 Roles in a Bullying Situation The Aggressor- the one doing the Bullying Behavior The Aggressor- the one doing the Bullying Behavior The Target or Victim- the person being bullied/picked on The Target or Victim- the person being bullied/picked on The Bystander- the person watching/seeing the bullying happen The Bystander- the person watching/seeing the bullying happen 6

7. Strategies for the Aggressor Acknowledge that you need to change the behavior Acknowledge that you need to change the behavior Apologize for the negative behavior Apologize for the negative behavior Use your conflict management skills to handle the problem Use your conflict management skills to handle the problem Increase your empathy and concern for others Increase your empathy and concern for others Use your leadership skills to help rather than hurt. Use your leadership skills to help rather than hurt. 7

8. Strategies for bullying victims Step back and look at the reasons why you are being picked on in the first place Step back and look at the reasons why you are being picked on in the first place Keep your sense of humor Keep your sense of humor Avoid “hot zones” whenever possible Avoid “hot zones” whenever possible Use Assertive Skills- catch the bully off guard Use Assertive Skills- catch the bully off guard Value Yourself Value Yourself Report serious incidences (counselors can protect anonymity) Report serious incidences (counselors can protect anonymity) Do NOT give them the reaction they are hoping for! Do NOT give them the reaction they are hoping for! 8

9. Strategies for bystanders Refuse to be an audience Refuse to be an audience If appropriate and safe, ask the bully to stop. If appropriate and safe, ask the bully to stop. Be a friend to the victim and be empathetic. Let the victim know you support them. Be a friend to the victim and be empathetic. Let the victim know you support them. Do not laugh while someone is being picked on Do not laugh while someone is being picked on Change the subject Change the subject 9

10. WHY WOULDN’T YOU TELL? Tell a trusted adult so you can practice ways on how to deal with bullies yourself Verbal experiment It is human nature to enjoy driving people crazy!! 10

11. Bully-diffusing Techniques Treat what they say as if they were words from your best friend Treat what they say as if they were words from your best friend The “Stance” The “Stance” Agree with the bully Agree with the bully Laugh at the bully and walk away Laugh at the bully and walk away Change the subject-distract Change the subject-distract When bullies do not get the response they want and are given no power, they almost always WILL stop!!! 11

12. What is Cyberbullying? Using cyber space (computers and cell phones) to bully others 12

13. Dangers of Cyberbullying Only a click of a button to send hurtful messages/rumors Only a click of a button to send hurtful messages/rumors Can bully day or night Can bully day or night Can create websites of stories/pictures/jokes ridiculing others Can create websites of stories/pictures/jokes ridiculing others Things are said that would never be said “face to face” Things are said that would never be said “face to face” Gives a sense of anonymity- may say things because you THINK no one will find out- THEY WILL! Gives a sense of anonymity- may say things because you THINK no one will find out- THEY WILL! 13

14. If you participate in Cyberbullying: Writing something about someone online, in a text message, etc…can be considered SLANDER, STALKING or even HARASSMENT! ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE AGAINST THE LAW!!! 14