Evangelism from a Bowen Theory perspective. Or Murray Bowen meets Jesus

THESIS: That if the Church is to take seriously its task of Evangelism, then it needs to take into account not just the biblical, ethical and theological context, but also the context of human relationships in which it takes place. This means that Evangelism must be rooted not just in sound theology, but also in a credible understanding of human functioning.

Given these assumptions, What is Evangelism? Given then this particular definition of Evangelism, what then is needed in the training process to implement it?

THEOLOGICAL ASSUMPTIONS Theology needs to be relational rather than propositional The power of relationships God The Gospel Church As Institution and as The Kingdom of God The Mission

ASSUMPTIONS FROM BOWEN THEORY

THE EIGHT CONCEPTS OF BOWEN THEORY Differentiation of self Nuclear Family Emotional Process Family Projection Process Triangles Multigenerational Transmission Process Emotional Cut-Off Sibling Position Societal Emotional Process

TOGETHERNESS - INDIVIDUALITY Individuality is a biologically rooted life force (more basic than being just a function of the brain) that propels an organism to follow its own directives, to be an independent and distinct entity. Togetherness is a biologically rooted life force (more basic than being just a function of the brain) that propels an organism to follow the directives of others, to be a dependent, connected, and indistinct entity. Kerr p64

The togetherness forces are derived from the universal need for “love,” approval, emotional closeness, and agreement. Bowen p.277

The individuality force is derived from the drive to be a productive, autonomous individual, as defined by self rather than the dictates of the group. Bowen p.277

There is never a threat of too much individuality. Bowen p.279

QUESTIONS FOR EVANGELISM Can Evangelism at times be a process that pushes for togetherness at the expense of individuality? Do evangelism programmes imply a togetherness of thinking and acting with little tolerance for self definition or individuality? What is the goal of evangelism?

How does Jesus function in relationships? Does the relationship with Jesus enhance individuality? Togetherness? Or both? Does salvation enhance or restrict individuality?

Two Key Variables: Anxiety Differentiation of Self

ANXIETY

Since the response to the perception of a threat is anxiety, the more easily people are threatened, the more anxiety they experience. Since anxiety undermines a feeling of emotional well-being, people automatically act in ways designed to reduce anxiety. Kerr p74

The greater the emotional interdependence of a relationship, therefore, the more easily people are threatened, the more anxiety they experience, and the more energy is invested in actions aimed at reducing that anxiety. The more actions people feel compelled to take to reduce anxiety and to avoid triggering anxiety, the less the flexibility of a relationship. Kerr p74

Anxiety is an organism’s response to a threat real or imagined. ANXIETY DEFINED Anxiety is an organism’s response to a threat real or imagined.

Questions How does the Church’s anxiety about itself affect its outreach? How does anxiety affect the Church’s perception of those outside of the church? Can evangelism be subverted into a programme to manage the anxiety of the church?

DIFFERENTIATION

What is Differentiation of Self? This difference between people in the proportion of life energy prone to be invested and bound in relationship is described by the concept of differentiation of self.

The “I position” defines principle and action in terms of , “This is what I think, or believe” and, “This is what I will do or will not do,” without impinging one’s own values or beliefs on others. It is the “responsible I” which assumes responsibility for one’s own happiness and comfort, and it avoids thinking that tends to blame and hold others responsible for one’ own unhappiness or failures. Bowen p495

The “responsible I” avoids the “irresponsible I” which makes demands on others with, “I want, or I deserve, or this is my right, or my privilege.” A reasonably differentiated person capable of genuine concern for others without expecting something in return, but the togetherness forces treat differentiation as selfish and hostile. Bowen p495

Differentiation has two dimensions: Focus on self And is undertaken in relationships, especially with those who are emotionally significant to one.

The togetherness needs of a very poorly differentiated person, which are overriding in their influence, are felt as deep yearnings to be loved, accepted and guided through life. As differentiation increases, individuality is better developed, togetherness needs are less intense, and emotional reactiveness is better modulated.

Autonomy does not mean selfishly following one’s own directives it mean the ability to be self-determined. Self-determination could result in the choice to be guided by the best interests of the group. Kerr

Differentiation is: Being self-focused but not selfish. Being other focused without the loss of self. Kerr

QUESTIONS How will you know if Evangelism is a process of self differentiation i.e. a process that arises out of a more thoughtful and calmer place in self or when it is an emotional process that reflects the anxiety of the Church? What is the relationship between autonomy and salvation?

Can evangelism be an invitation to fuse i. e Can evangelism be an invitation to fuse i.e. give up self to the church? What would evangelism look like when it is an expression of the church’s differentiation?

How can we know if the witness of the Christian is an expression of the solid self? Can evangelism be understood as the Christian’s “I” statement?

Triangulation The basic building block of any emotional system is the “triangle.” When emotional tension in a two-person system exceeds a certain level, it “triangles” a third person, permitting the tension to shift about within the triangle. … The emotional system is composed of a series of interlocking triangles. Bowen p.174

The theory considers the triangle – a three-person system – as the molecule of any emotional system, whether it exists in a family or in a social system. … The triangle is the smallest stable relationship system. A two-person system is an unstable system that immediately forms a series of interlocking triangles. The triangle has definite relationship patterns that predictable repeat in periods of stress and calm. Bowen p198-199

QUESTION Can evangelism programmes be a triangling process in which Christians project and bind their anxiety about their own future onto non-Christians? What can the church expect from evangelism programmes when the driving force for its action is anxiety?

Emotional Cut-off We have come to use the term emotional cut-off or simply cut-off to refer to emotional distancing, whether the cut-off is achieved by internal mechanisms or physical distance. Bowen p535

The one who runs away does have a different life course The one who runs away does have a different life course. He needs emotional closeness but is allergic to it. He runs away kidding himself that he is achieving “independence.” The more intense the cut-off with his parents the more he is vulnerable to repeating the same pattern in future relationships. Bowen p.535

The person who runs away from his family or origin is as emotionally dependent as the one who never leaves home. They both need emotional closeness but are allergic to it. Bowen p382

QUESTIONS Is emotional cut-off from families a characteristic of people living on the West coast of the USA? If those who cut-off from their families are allergic to too much togetherness, how can Christians witness to them without triggering their reactivity and distancing? If they are distancing from their families how can the Church minister to them without pursuing them?

GIVEN THESE THEOLOGICAL AND BOWEN THEORY ASSUMPTIONS, WHAT THEN IS EVANGELISM?

Evangelism defined: EVANGELISM IS THE PROCESS OF DEFINING ONESELF AS A CHRISTIAN TO THE WORLD AROUND ONE.

A Systems View of the Evangelism Process Evangelism is relational. It concerns God’s relationship with humankind and nature and our relationship with God, others and nature. Evangelism therefore needs to be rooted in a relational theology that provides a broad relational understanding of life.

Evangelism focuses on the relational processes of God’s activity and uses a number of scriptural images such as: Love, justification, healing, liberation, separation, peace, celebration, teaching, listening, breaking of bonds, conversion, caring, restoration, salvaging etc,

Evangelism is the witness to the presence of God in the world, others, nature and self. Evangelism is grounded in the Gospel of Jesus the Christ. Evangelism is the work of the Holy Spirit. Evangelism is about the Kingdom of God.

Evangelism is a process of defining a self Evangelism is a process of defining a self. It focuses on self rather than on the other. It is the “I” statement of Christians. This is not a selfish focus on self, but the taking of personal responsibility for self in relationships. Evangelism is about Christian self-definition, and not about defining or attempting to change others. Changing others is the work of the Holy Spirit.

Evangelism relates to the “thoughtful” aspects of life rather than to the emotional. Evangelism as a thoughtful process of self-definition, and is an essential and integral aspect of the Christian life. As such it is an expression of the “solid self” of the Christian.

Evangelism is a thoughtful response of the Christian to the call in 1 Peter 3:15 Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence.

Evangelism is always undertaken in the context of anxiety both in the “evangelist” and in the one to whom he or she relates. This means that evangelism requires a high degree of self-management by the Christian. Evangelism affirms that God is involved in the lives of all people – both believers and unbelievers.

Evangelism is not judgmental. Evangelism is a process and not an event or a programme that one takes, studies or implements. Evangelism honours the differences between people and does not seek togetherness as sameness of thinking, feeling or behaviour.

Evangelism finds it source of strength in the Holy Spirit. Evangelism is not to be equated with “church growth.” Evangelism may or may not lead to an increase in church membership.

Assumptions Underlying A Systems Perspective of the Evangelism Process That Christians are often not familiar, or comfortable with telling their own, or their family’s faith story. That awareness of their own faith story as well as that of their family, is normative for evangelism since this is the only authentic story for each Christian.

Question What process needs to be provided in order to assist Christians to define themselves?

Goals of the Evangelism Process To provide Christians with the opportunity to reflect on the presence of God in their own and their family’s life. To provide an opportunity for Christians to tell their own and their family’s faith story so that they can give “an account of the hope that is within them.”

To assist Christians in a process towards greater self-definition. To provide Christians with the theological and theoretical resources that inform this process. To offer opportunities for biblical reflection.

Nel Family Tree

The evaluations bore out the appropriateness of this process.

The following comments were made about the shift in Thinking as a result of the process : Telling my own story strengthened my faith A sense of gratitude for my family Less anxious about evangelism and where I belong

I no longer focus on others I tell my own story “Evangelize Yourself”

Comments about Self: Sense of joy in own uniqueness and what that brings to the Christian community Deeper and broader sense of God’s presence Can be my own person and be a Christian

More responsible for self Always felt God’s presence but now see how God was present More tolerant of other people at work even those who don’t believe since I know that God is at work. Can’t wait for an appropriate time to tell my story.

Comments about God: By going back to the family tree I realized that God was working there already. God is so much bigger and more loving. The visualization of the family in the family diagram aided in seeing God through he generations. Seeing was important.

Other Comments: The sense of evangelism as managing ourselves rather than others, understanding our own stories so that we can share them with others. The restoration of relationships with God, self and others. Managing oneself etc

The idea of seeing the family tree as a process of God working in the family

The following quotation is attributed to Albert Einstein and is taken out of his context, theoretical physics: "The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. Like the military that is always prepared to fight the last war, most of us gear our lives to handle in the future the problems we have encountered in the past. Like the military the problems of the present tend to be linked to those past solutions and catch us unprepared. We then tend to employ measures we have used in the past and, in unstable and stressful conditions, those measures have a likelihood of making the current problems worse.” Papero "Stress, Society, and the Individual"

“Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you “Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you.” Luke 8:39

Share with those around you “How much God has done for you” this past week.

THE BEGINNING OF THE END “Go in peace and witness to the hope that is within you.”