Substance Abuse and Family Functioning By Tara Spoerl

Substance Abuse and Family Functioning. How well do you know how your family works? How well do you know how your family works? If you have an addicted family member ask yourself if you are happy… is your family happy? If you have an addicted family member ask yourself if you are happy… is your family happy?

This presentation identifies how addiction plays a part in families and how it can get better.

Substance Abuse and Family Functioning Important Questions. Is your family healthy? Is your family healthy? Is there substance abuse in your family? Is there substance abuse in your family? What ways have you or your family dealt with this family member? What ways have you or your family dealt with this family member? It can be hard to survive in a family dealing with addiction. You are not alone!

Facts on Families “13% of children lived in a household where a parent or other adult used illicit drugs” “13% of children lived in a household where a parent or other adult used illicit drugs” “24% of children lived in a household where a parent or other adult was a binge or heavy drinker” “24% of children lived in a household where a parent or other adult was a binge or heavy drinker” “Approximately 53 percent of adults in the United States have reported that one or more of their close relatives have a drinking problem.” (Caron.org 2014) “Approximately 53 percent of adults in the United States have reported that one or more of their close relatives have a drinking problem.” (Caron.org 2014)

Families deal with addiction in different ways! Depression Depression Loss of trust and faith. Loss of trust and faith. Emotional Disconnection or hiding feelings. Emotional Disconnection or hiding feelings. Do you hide your feelings so that there is less conflict? Do you hide your feelings so that there is less conflict?

Survival Roles How a family member copes with the situation in an unhealthy manner The Scapegoat: The member who gets into trouble and seems not to care. This is the other focus of the family. The Scapegoat: The member who gets into trouble and seems not to care. This is the other focus of the family. The Lost Child: The ‘uninportant’ one who seems to disappear. The Lost Child: The ‘uninportant’ one who seems to disappear. The Enabler: They do things that allow the addicted person to continue their behavior. They may make excuses for the addicted The Enabler: They do things that allow the addicted person to continue their behavior. They may make excuses for the addicted

Survival Roles.. continued.. The Hero: This person is seen as a success and tends to have poor self esteem. The Hero: This person is seen as a success and tends to have poor self esteem. The Mascot: Everyone may try to protect this child by not telling them things, but he or she is probably aware that something wrong. The Mascot: Everyone may try to protect this child by not telling them things, but he or she is probably aware that something wrong.

Take a minute and think about what survival roles you or other family members take.

Co-dependency Codependents feel the need to help others when they have a problem and this includes addiction. Codependents feel the need to help others when they have a problem and this includes addiction. It makes the addiction worse It makes the addiction worse They ignore problems or pretend that they don’t exist. They ignore problems or pretend that they don’t exist. Feel shame that does not pass. Feel shame that does not pass. Codependents and addicts often end up together. Codependents and addicts often end up together.

The Addict The addict in the family may not be aware the s/he is causing problems within the family.

Behaviors of the Addict They are obsessed with the addiction of their choice. They may be distracted when they are not using. They are obsessed with the addiction of their choice. They may be distracted when they are not using. They will deny having a problem They will deny having a problem Will try to hide the behavior. Will try to hide the behavior. They will continue to do this behavior even though it causes issues within their lives. They will continue to do this behavior even though it causes issues within their lives.

Behaviors of the Addict When the family member is using their choice of addiction they may not remember what happens. When the family member is using their choice of addiction they may not remember what happens. When they cant get their addiction of choice they may experience withdrawal symptoms which may include: irritability, fatigue, insomnia, sweating, headache, and difficulty concentrating When they cant get their addiction of choice they may experience withdrawal symptoms which may include: irritability, fatigue, insomnia, sweating, headache, and difficulty concentrating

Behaviors of the Addict At times there may be a loss of control and the addict will binge their addiction of choice. At times there may be a loss of control and the addict will binge their addiction of choice. The addict may push away loved ones. This includes family. The addict may push away loved ones. This includes family. They may have mood swings. They may become angry for no reason. They may have mood swings. They may become angry for no reason.

Addiction All of these behaviors that were mentioned happen because of the addiction. It’s not your fault that the family member is addicted or that these behaviors happen.

Family Dynamics When an addict pops up in a family the reactions are normal. When an addict pops up in a family the reactions are normal. It is normal for families to want to help other family members. It is normal for families to want to help other family members. When the family members problems involve drugs any efforts on the part of the family to help with the addict's problems often continue the addict's behavior. When the family members problems involve drugs any efforts on the part of the family to help with the addict's problems often continue the addict's behavior.

FEAR Living in an environment with an addicted family member can create a lot of fear! Fear of failure or success. Fear of rejection. It can also create lots of problems! Such as problems handling conflict. You may also have problems with communicating. Problems with low self esteem

Communicating In a family with addiction problems there is likely poor communication or none at all. Remember: This is not your fault. The message to everyone in the family most likely is not to talk about the family members “problem” Family members calling each other names is another example of poor communication.

Help can be around the corner. Nar-Anon is an organization for friends and relatives of addiction. It can help you deal with the problem.

Exercises to help your family. An important aspect of a family or group of people is communication. An important aspect of a family or group of people is communication. Remember in an earlier slide I talked about poor communication. Remember in an earlier slide I talked about poor communication. In exercise 1 on the next slide I will give you tools on how to have good communication. In exercise 1 on the next slide I will give you tools on how to have good communication. Lets get started…!

Exercise 1 Everyone in the family think of a situation that you were unhappy in. Everyone in the family think of a situation that you were unhappy in. Write down what happened or just the facts. Write down what happened or just the facts. Write down your thoughts about the situation. Write down your thoughts about the situation. Write down the emotions that you felt. Write down the emotions that you felt.

Exercise 1 Now one by say what you wrote down. Now one by say what you wrote down. Discuss the situation. Discuss the situation. Taking turns explain how that situation could have better handled. Taking turns explain how that situation could have better handled. Next time that situation happens speak up and communicate how you are feeling! Next time that situation happens speak up and communicate how you are feeling!

Exercise 2 This exercise is for a single person to do by themselves. This exercise is for a single person to do by themselves. Write on a piece of paper all the good things about yourself. Write on a piece of paper all the good things about yourself. At the end of it write; “I am a good person.” At the end of it write; “I am a good person.” Keep this paper with you and whenever you are feeling down about yourself look at it and repeat the last line. Keep this paper with you and whenever you are feeling down about yourself look at it and repeat the last line.

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