Handling Difficult parents Strategies to use to keep cool and professional.

What makes a difficult  Parent  Situation

Things to remember  Parents love their kids  Do not over react  Give parents a chance to vent  Meetings  Be the first story home  Keep a paper trail  Take responsibility  Have a monitoring system

Parents love their kids  Sending the best they have  Angry parents Care  Want  Hurt  Fear  School may have been a bad place for them

Do not over react  We are the professional  Watch body language and tone  Watch your stance, not toe to toe  If a parent comes into the office…..  If you had a difficult meeting, be mindful of what you say to staff.  Remember, if the situation is public, you are modeling for teachers and staff. Mrs. Jones, I can tell you are very upset. We are all on duty right now getting students safely to class. You can go to the front office, I will be in 20 minutes or give your best contact information so we can schedule an appointment.

Give parents a chance to vent  Listen to them.  Phone call strategy.  Should the parent become verbally aggressive, say “Mrs. Jones, I will not allow anyone at my school to speak to your child in this manner, I expect the same of all adults in my school which includes you.”  Tell them you are sorry they are in this situation, but are glad they came to you. This does mean they win, it just recognizes you are sorry the parent/student is in this situation.

The Meeting  Depending on the situation, sit at a table together, rather than behind your desk.  Do not allow teachers be meet alone with parents, important they have support.  Have paper and pencil. Let them see that you are writing down information.  Do not engage in discussing other students.  You may need investigate the situation, do and get back to them in a timely manner.

Be the first story home  If something happens at school, be the first one to call. Welcome them in to discuss and find ways to help.  Let teachers know they should come to you.  You can coach the teacher if they are going to call or they can be in the room as you contact the parent.  TIP Have teachers call each one of their parents the first 2 weeks of school

Keep a paper trail  Summarize meetings with an to parent, include any actions items  Use key phrases, refer to your notes  After an IEP, clearly identify exactly who will be doing what tasks.  Follow up with teachers and staff to be sure the plan is followed

Take responsibility  If we made a mistake, own it.  WE will make mistakes.  Example: If a teachers reads grades aloud. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking of, it will never happen again.”  If the error was on our part, be sure to let the parent know you will be conducting staff development to insure this does not happen again.

Difficult IEP meetings  Have a pre-meeting  Be sure you have an idea of the issues  All teachers should be prepared with information about the student  Create an agenda  Assign a note taker  LEA, take the lead.  Time keeper. If the meeting goes over 90 minutes and is stalled.  “I recommend we stop, summarize and schedule another meeting when we have time to reflect on the information presented during this time.

Final Thoughts  Have a system of monitoring challenging situations  “We have met the enemy and sometimes it’ us”  Be consistent with policies and procedures.  Provide training and support for teachers.  Be sure teachers keep documentation  MOST important : Have good relationships with parents.

Thank you!  Contact Information  Kathy Kiniry  