TN CASA Conference 3 May 2013

 Who I am, what I do –  Help Do-Gooders do more Good!  Coach, trainer, organizational development specialist  Background in the public sector  CASA volunteer since Dec  Objectives  Recognize and have some tools to deal with Compassion Fatigue  Practicing good self care, understanding the role of our thoughts and knowing when to reach out for help.  Anything else?

 How are you feeling about your role as an Advocate right now?  Compassion Fatigue: You may already be suffering from it!  Self assessment test + ProQol (Professional Quality of Life)

Compassion Fatigue symptoms are normal displays of chronic stress resulting from the care giving work we choose to do. Leading traumatologist Eric Gentry suggests that people who are attracted to care giving often enter the field already compassion fatigued. A strong identification with helpless, suffering, or traumatized people or animals is possibly the motive. It is common for such people to hail from a tradition of what Gentry labels: other-directed care giving. Simply put, these are people who were taught at an early age to care for the needs of others before caring for their own needs. Authentic, ongoing self-care practices are absent from their lives.

 You can’t give away what you haven’t got.  Make sure your emotional, physical, and spiritual tanks are full before you do this work.  You give a gift to others when you can show up as the best you possible  Watch out for signs of “compassion fatigue” - Exercise – Compassion Fatigue Assessment & Handouts  Find ways of grounding yourself, things that bring out the authentic you, de-stress you, and revitalize you BEFORE you face your CASA responsibilities – Do these REGULARLY!  Tips for Vitality and Serenity - handouts  Be accountable – this shows you respect yourself. Do what you say you will do!

 The Law of Attraction – “That which we focus on, grows.”  Your thoughts are more powerful than you may know!  Be grateful for the role this work plays in your life, and even, for the role your clients play  Hang onto hope. Even the most difficult families can turn their lives around.  Attitude is a choice! Notice when/if your attitude changes, and make a choice to let go of negativity.  “Extend the same attitude to those you provide services as you would to your own family.” – Carl Dennis

 Key to staying non-judgmental is knowing ourselves. What are your values?  Exercise – 5 things that are most important to you. What values to these things show?  When you are aware of your values, you can release judgment of the values of others  Choose to be more open and loving instead!  There are only two choices: FEAR or LOVE  Don’t label. Dysfunctional  Seriously emotionally unique  Separate the person from the action. See with your heart, not your head.  Judgments tell us something about OURSELVES, not the other person.  Judgment keeps us from seeing reality – especially when we judge ourselves.  Watch for “could have” “should have” would have”. We must stop judging ourselves first  Make a decision about how you want to show up. Just be human! There is an immense power in being able to have a conversation with someone as an authentic human being.

 Approach each case with an intent to find signs of hope and strength in the family you are working with  If there are none, the job is to try and build some!  Our goal as CASA volunteers to help build families back up if at all possible.  Give the power back to the people. Otherwise, you may get into a pattern of thinking that you can “save” them.  It’s not our job to do things. It’s our job to make sure things get done!  Get empowered yourself through development, talking to others in CASA, and building strong relationships with others in the system.  Remember not to confuse sympathy with empathy!