1. Feb. 29 Journals: Are we born violent? Agenda: Self destructive behavior

2. The Heart Exercise This is a baby’s heart What words that describe babies?

3. What are some of the negative things children hear as they grow up? What gets said to girls? To people who have an accent? A limp? Stutter? People of color If you are heavy? To thin?

4. Humans We bruise very easily Each of these words and remarks leave a bruise. Each bruise develops a little scar. By the time we are adults, we have a lot of scars.

5. What happens when a person gets scarred? That person puts up shields to protect them from getting hurt again. It makes it hard for the heart to grow. It becomes frozen in place, holing up all its shields.

6. When we meet Its difficult to see the real you because of all your shields. Sometimes we fight because of those shields or we don’t know how to talk or listen to each other. Remember shields keep us from growing so we have to sometimes let them down (drop our guard) and trust someone enough to let them in. Every time you do this you grow

7. In society in which there is so much violence, and in which our own hearts have been hurt, it is easy to become discouraged and depressed and to blame ourselves. We get to the point where we feel like we have nothing left to live for we may become self destructive.

8. It is not unusual to feel sad or depressed occasionally. However being seriously depressed or dwelling on thoughts of hurting yourself, or doing self destructive things is seriously a cause for concern. In these cases we need support to heal our hearts

9. 21 Tips to Release Self-Neglect and Love Yourself in Action Reading: Thanks Ryan

10. In groups of four Brainstorms a list of the may ways that people can be self destructive

11. Discussion: Self Destructive Violence Talk about a time you did something self-destructive or thought about doing something self-destructive. What was it that you really needed at the time? What got you through it? Is there anything you are doing now that is self- destructive? Why do you think you are putting your health, life, future at risk? Who gains from this? Who loses? Who is the one person you can talk to about this? Someone who was really able to reach you when you needed help. Describe that person and what they did to help What things in your life are worth living for?

12. Hurting ourselves When we do this intentionally, it is usually because we are experiencing strong feelings of grief, sadness, anger, or pain. It is easier for us to hide the pain. Some people turn to alcohol, drugs, abuse their bodies, live dangerously, or try to end their lives.

13. You do not have to go through this alone Here are some methods to use if you know someone going through self destructive behavior:

14. Listen and Confirm Help them talk about what they are feeling Acknowledge the pain, isolation or depression they are experiencing. Don’t try to convince them that everything is all right

15. Show them you care Show them you care, and assure them that you will try to help them get through this tough time Let them know you would be sad if they weren’t around

16. Remind them of their importance Help remind them of all the good things in their lives and what they have to look forward to.

17. Provide Perspective Remind them things change and they will always get better

18. Help them locate support systems In school we have a number of support resources. – Teachers – Papenburg/Cvetnich – Child Study

19. Groups of Six Role Play One student plays a person who is self- destructive, and another plays his or her friend. The object of the role play is for the friend to help the self destructive person stop hurting herself or himself. Several people could play the friend in turn for each scene to give each a chance to try out intervention strategies

20. You may use any of the following scenarios A person using alcohol or other drugs a lot A person is anorexic or bulimic and visibly unhealthy A person talking as if they have no reason to keep on living Someone who is using steroids Someone who does dangerous things

21. Self destructive Violence Part of a cycle of violence that we are trying to eliminate. We can only do that when each person has support, friends to talk with, respect, a safe environment, and a clear sense of their future. We must learn to care for each other, because the loss of any one of us is a loss for us all. Reaching out is the opposite of violence. To make peace we must replace isolation, separation, and lack of concern for each other with caring and support

22. Papenberg/Svenson Beautiful Bodies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DdM- 4siaQw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DdM- 4siaQw