Language Proficiency and Skill Development Course

 It is possible to listen without hearing.  It is possible to hear without listening.

Listening requires effort Faulty listening styles Reasons for poor listening Listening skills and listening strategies

LISTENING WITH... “EXPERIENCE” “WHAT WE KNOW” BIASES STEREOTYPES PERCEPTIONS EMOTIONS

 Effort – its hard to stay focused  Message overload – too much at once  Rapid thought – 600 wpm vs. 140 wpm  Psychological noise – personal concerns  Physical noise – distractions (fatigue)  Hearing problems – frustration  Faulty Assumptions - “heard it all before”  Talking has more advantages = > who interrupts more?  Cultural Differences  Media influences – MTV, radio, TV.

 What do good listeners look like? ◦ Verbally ◦ Nonverbally  Listening is not a natural process.  Listening requires effort (active not passive)  All listeners do not receive the same message. ◦ We hear uniquely different messages ◦ Physiological factors, social roles, cultural background, personal interests, and needs.

 Attending – paying attention. Mindfulness.  Understanding/Interpreting ◦ Assigning meaning to messages ◦ PRINCIPLE: The greater the similarity between individuals, the greater the likelihood for more accurate understanding. ◦ PRINCIPLE: People understand best if they can relate what they are hearing to something they already know.

◦ PRINCIPLE: You understand best that which you also experience.  Responding: Giving observable feedback to speaker ◦ Clarifying a message ◦ Care about what the speaker says ◦ Confirming understanding of a message ◦ Nonverbal responses ◦ Feedback – verbal responses  Remembering

LISTENING LISTEN TO RESPOND LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND

1. RESTATE/REPEAT 2. PARAPHRASE 3. REFLECT FEELING 4. PARAPHRASE CONTENT AND REFLECT FEELING 5. SAY NOTHING

LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND Before I can walk in another person’s shoes, I must remove my own. Unknown

 CONTENT ORIENTED: Focus on issues and arguments  PEOPLE ORIENTED: Focus on feelings and emotions  ACTION ORIENTED: Impatient and often finish speakers’ thoughts – tend to second guess  TIME ORIENTED: Prefer bulleted talking points quickly and briefly.

Ten Rules for Good Listening Rule ListeningReasoning Behind the Rule 1. Stop talkingYou cannot listen if you are talking. 2. Put the person at easeHelp a person feel free to talk; create a permissive environment. 3. Show the person you Look and act interested; listen to want to listenunderstand, not to oppose. 4.Remove distractionsDon’t doodle, tap, or shuffle papers; shut the door if necessary to achieve quiet.

Ten Rules for Good Listening Rule ListeningReasoning Behind the Rule 5. EmpathizeTry to see the other person’s point of view. 6. Be patientAllow plenty of time; do not interrupt; don’t start for the door or walk away. 7. Hold your temperAn angry person takes the wrong meaning from words.

Ten Rules for Good Listening Rule ListeningReasoning Behind the Rule 8.Go easy on argument Don’t put people on the defensive and criticismand cause them to “clam up” or become angry; do not argue even if you win, you lose. 9. Ask questionsThis encourages a person and shows that you are listening; it helps to develop points further. 10. Stop talkingThis is first and last, because all other guides depend on it; you cannot listen effectively while you are talking.

Informational Critically Emphatic

INFORMATIONAL LISTENING  Don’t argue or judge prematurely  Separate the message from the speaker  Be opportunistic

INFORMATIONAL LISTENING  Look for key ideas  Ask questions  Sincere questions

INFORMATIONAL LISTENING  Counterfeit questions  seek “correct” answers  based on unchecked assumptions

INFORMATIONAL LISTENING  Paraphrase  Take notes  Don’t wait too long before beginning to jot down ideas  Record only key ideas  Develop a note-taking format

CRITICAL LISTENING  Listen for information before evaluating  Evaluate the speaker’s credibility  Is the speaker competent?  Is the speaker impartial?

CRITICAL LISTENING  Examine speaker’s evidence  Examine emotional appeals  Is the evidence recent enough?  Is enough evidence presented?

CRITICAL LISTENING  Examine emotional appeals  Is the evidence from a reliable source?  Can the evidence be interpreted in more than one way?

EMPATHIC LISTENING  Advising  Be confident that the advice is correct  Ask yourself whether the person seeking your advice seems willing to accept it

EMPATHIC LISTENING  Advising  Be certain that the receiver won’t blame you if the advice doesn’t work out

EMPATHIC LISTENING  Judging  The person with the problem should have requested an evaluation from you  Your judgment is genuinely constructive and not designed to be a put-down

EMPATHIC LISTENING  Analyzing  Offer your interpretation in a tentative way rather than as absolute fact  Your analysis ought to have a reasonable chance of being correct

EMPATHIC LISTENING  Analyzing  You ought to be sure that the other person will be receptive to your analysis  Be sure that your motive for offering an analysis is truly to help the other person

EMPATHIC LISTENING  Questioning  Don’t ask questions just to satisfy your own curiosity  Be sure your questions won’t confuse or distract the person you’re trying to help

EMPATHIC LISTENING  Questioning  Don’t use questions to disguise your suggestions or criticisms

EMPATHIC LISTENING  Supporting  Make sure your expression of support is sincere  Be sure the other person can accept your support

EMPATHIC LISTENING  Prompting  involves using silences and brief statements of encouragement to draw others out, and in so doing, helping them solve their own problems

EMPATHIC LISTENING  Paraphrasing  Is the problem complex enough?  Do you have the necessary time and concern?  Are you genuinely interested in helping the other person?

EMPATHIC LISTENING  Paraphrasing  Can you withhold judgment?  Is your paraphrasing in proportion to other responses?

EMPATHIC LISTENING  When and How to Help  Think about the situation  Think about the other person  Think about yourself