Listening Is More Than Hearing What you get out of listening depends on what you put into it

Listening April 14, 1912 (a thousand people needlessly lost their lives in the Titanic disaster) Crew ignored the warnings of icebergs. Passengers ignored the captain. The Californian (ten miles away) didn't respond to the distress signal— their radio operator was off duty. Material of hull lacked proper integrity.

Listening April 14, 1912 Poor listening contributed to the disaster

Listening Listening is the art of interpreting multiple messages through multiple sources (spoken word-hearing, body language- sight, proximity-spatial awareness, etc.)

Message Message SenderReceiver SenderReceiver Decode Encode Decode Encode Feedback Feedback Encode Decode The Communication Model

Listening Effort of Listening (by Degrees) 1. Passive Listening: Ineffective. The thinking: the responsibility for successful communication lies with the person doing the talking. Acting like a sponge 2. Active Listening: Effective listening. The listener takes an active part in the process. "Nature has given us one tongue, but two ears that we may hear twice as much as we speak." --Epictetus

Listening Five Levels (Ways) to Listen 1. Appreciative: enjoy music, a bird's song, a brook murmuring in the forest 2. Discriminative: single out one particular sound in a noisy environment (a friend's voice in a noisy room, a flute in the midst of a symphony)

Listening Five Levels (Ways) to Listen 3. Comprehensive: when we want to understand—directions/instructions 4. Therapeutic: the “listening work” of a psychiatrist or counselor; listening without judgments: letting a friend talk freely—even vent

Listening Five Levels (Ways) to Listen 5. Critical: active listening evaluating what is said and what is not said, determines if the message is worthwhile, logical, has value, etc. This is not “listening to criticize,” It’s “listening to thoroughly understand”

On a Separate Sheet of Paper 1. Give one example for each level of listening AppreciativeDiscriminativeComprehensiveTherapeuticCritical 2. Summarize the 5 levels of listening in a short paragraph—at least 3 sentences long.

Listening 4 Roadblocks to Good Listening 1. Lack of Attention: paying our most personal assets—awareness, interest, and effort. 2. Thinking Off-Topic: about what to say or do next / un-focused thoughts

Listening 4 Roadblocks to Good Listening Assistant Professor, Paul Cameron at Wayne State University (psychology) fired a gun from time to time throughout his lectures and asked students what they were thinking at the time of the shots: 20% someone of the opposite sex 20% about a memory 40%: worrying, daydreaming, lunch, and 8% religion 20% paying attention to the lecture (only 12% were actively paying attention) (only 12% were actively paying attention)

Listening 4 Roadblocks to Good Listening 3. Distractions: noises make it difficult to listen (we need to take the initiative to block out the distraction so we can listen—turn off the TV, shut the door, etc.) 4. Memory: We easily forget what we hear. At the finish of a 10 minute speech the average person has forgotten half of what was said. Within 48 hours, another 50% has been forgotten.

On a Separate Sheet of Paper 1. Give one example for each Roadblock to Good Listening Lack of Attention Thinking off Topic DistractionsMemory 2. Summarize the 4 Roadblocks to Good Listening in a short paragraph—at least 3 sentences long.

Listening Bad Habits = Bad Company 1. Tuning Out Dull Topics 2. Faking Attention 3. Yielding to Distractions/Peripheral Noise 4. Criticizing Delivery or Physical Appearances 5. Jumping to Conclusions 6. Overreacting to Emotional Words (think…GPA, Graduation, Parent Conferences) 7. Interrupting

Listening Interesting Observation about Interruptions Men Interrupting Other Men and Women Interrupting Other Women Equally Men and Women Conversing… Who interrupts more? Men—96% more

Why do men interrupt more? Studies suggest the following logic: When women are talking about a problem, they usually aren’t looking for a solution or an opinion. They are wanting to be listened to. Men operate from a default listening style: “solution mode” A word of advice for men… When women tell you a problem and ask “what do you think?” they are often (subconsciously) testing you If you offer a solution right away they chalk it up to “just another guy.” If you reply, “Wow, that sounds like a tough situation. Tell me more.” (or “What have you done about it?” etc. ) they think…”Hey, he really cares about me.” In short…women don’t value your opinion or your solutions as much as they value your attention.

Word of Advice to Women Men don’t get hints: Girl (seeing a bouquet in a display window): Oh, those roses look beautiful. Any girl would love to receive roses from her boyfriend. Boy (to himself): Roses? Hmm…Roses are red. So is Ketchup. Hey, I’m hungry. Boy (to Girl): Wanna get some French fries?

On a Separate Sheet of Paper 1. Give one example for each Bad Habit of not listening: 1. Tuning Out Dull Topics 2. Faking Attention 3. Yielding to Distractions/Peripheral Noise 4. Criticizing Delivery or Physical Appearances 5. Jumping to Conclusions 6. Overreacting to Emotional Words 7. Interrupting 2. Summarize the 5 levels of Bad Habits of Not Listening in a short paragraph—at least 3 sentences long.

Listening Effective Listening 1. Know when to listen Actively Listen during the Middle of the Speech The beginning sets up the information. The conclusion summarizes the main points. Use the beginning to prepare for what you’ll hear. Use the conclusion to review your notes …making sure you have everything in order. 2. Use your "Spare Time" We Speak words per minute We Listen 400 words per minute

Listening Improve Your Listening by using your EARS E—Explore: Think ahead of the speaker—predict the next point or two (then see if you’re right) A—Analyze: Consider carefully what’s being said; look at it from several angles R—Review: Retrace the path of the speaker. Remind yourself where you are now and how you got there. S—Search: Be alert for hidden meanings (things said and unsaid)