I will express emotions in healthful ways Health Goal #5

Emotions God’s children are not to be subject to feelings and (p.127) emotions. When they fluctuate between hope and fear, the heart of Christ is hurt; for He has given them unmistakable evidence of His love.... He wants them to do the work He has given them; then their hearts will become in His hands as sacred harps, every chord of which will send forth praise and thanksgiving to the One sent by God to take away the sins of the world.— Letter 2, 1914 (Testimonies to Ministers and Gospel Workers, 518, 519.)

What are emotions? An emotion is a specific feeling: Afraid Angry Lonely Loving Anxious Nervous Excited Sad Shy guilty

Emotions and the Mind-body connection Mind-body connection: the close relationship between mental and physical responses. In other words… Your body responds to the way you think, feel, and act. Example: high blood pressure or a stomach ulcer could occur as a cause of high stress or an upsetting life event.

Emotions and the Mind-body connection Psychosomatic disease – a physical disorder caused or aggravated by emotional responses. For instance: A person who has asthma – a chronic condition in which breathing becomes difficult – might worry about not having enough money to pay a bill and in response have difficulty breathing. The emotional response (worry) aggravates a physical disorder (asthma). Other possible scenarios?

Expressing emotions is healthful ways Communication – the exchange of feelings, thoughts, or information with one or more persons. A healthy person will have good communication with those around them vs someone who is unhealthy about sharing emotions tends to keep feelings bottled up inside. Denial – a condition in which a person refuses to recognize what he or she is feeling because it is extremely painful.

Expressing emotions in healthful ways Guidelines for expressing emotions in healthful ways: 5 guidelines 1. identify the emotion - what emotion am I experiencing? 2. Identify the source of the emotion – why do I feel this way? 3. Decide whether or not there is the need to respond right away – Seek help from adults vs no help from adults. And stop to think about what a good response would be. 4. Choose a responsible and healthful response 5. Protect your health – Sleep, exercise, drink water, etc.

I-Message vs. You-message I-Message – “when you picked me up late for the game, we were late, and I was angry with you.” In an I-Message it gives the person you are talking to a chance to respond to you and you can talk out the situation… You-Message – “You picked me up late from the game and made me late to the game and now I’m angry at you.” In a You-Message there is little chance for the person you are angry at to answer you because you have just provoked them and didn’t give them a chance to reply.

Expressing emotions in healthful ways Active listening – a way of responding that shows that the listener hears and understands. An active listener may respond in 4 different ways to let the other person know they are really hearing and understanding: 1. Listener may ask for more information – “What else will be happening…” 2. Might repeat what the speaker said – “So what you’re telling me is that you are…” 3. Summarize the main idea – “I can see that the problem is…” 4. Acknowledge and show appreciation for the speaker’s feelings. “I don’t blame you for feeling angry, and I appreciate that you told me how you feel”.

Expressing Emotions in healthful ways Nonverbal communication – use of actions to express emotions and thoughts. Tapping of one’s foot might express impatience… Smiling – Happy Frowning - ???

Anger management Anger – an emotions that varies from mild irritation to intense rage Anger Trigger – thought or event that causes anger Anger Cue – body change or indicator that occurs when a person is angry

Anger management skills 10 skills to help manage anger 1. Keep an anger self-inventory 2. Use self-statements to control anger – “I can manage this situation”. “I will take a few deep breaths before I say anything.” 3. Use I-Messages 4. Write a letter – this allows you to get your feelings out, but you haven’t actually said anything yet. You can revise the letter, or rethink the letter before you’ve said one word. 5. Write in a journal – good way to vent 6. Reduce the effects of anger cues with physical activity

Anger management skills 7. Use safe physical actions to blow off steam – screaming into a pillow, squeezing a stress ball. 8. Keep a sense of humor – Telling a joke or poking fun at the situation (in a good spirited way that does not attack others) can lighten up a situation. Laughing also reduces effects of anger cues. 9. Rehearse what to do in situations that you know are your anger triggers. 10. Talk with a parent or a mentor.

Emotional video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCAwXb9n7EY