1. 5 Levels of Communication

2. Polite Conversation Conversation that helps put people at ease or just passes time.

3. Information Giving Reporting events or facts

4. Expressing Ideas Expressing thoughts, ideas, decisions and judgements

5. Sharing Feelings Telling how a person feels about people, situations or events

6. Self-disclosing Sharing deepest hope, dreams, fears, and emotion

7. Which level of communication? 1. _____ I felt so embarrassed when he called on me, because I had lost my place and had no idea what question we were on. 2. _____ Isn't the weather gorgeous today? I just love these warm, sunny days. 3. _____ I need you to listen to me when I talk, because I care about our relationship. 4. _____ I think we should legalize drugs when we're old enough to vote, because it would reduce the crime associated with drug use.

8. Which level of communication? 5. _____ I haven't seen you in a long time. How've you been doing? 6. _____ I heard that Ms. McDowell is giving a pop quiz today in class. 7. _____ I am so afraid when I think about the future, because I don't have a clue about where I fit in the adult world. 8. _____ I am going to the party Saturday night and will be able to give you a ride if you need one.

9. Which level of communication? 9. _____ I was so surprised when I heard about the election results, because I just knew you would win. 10.____ I think you are wonderful and hope you will always be a part of my life.

10. I-message I-messages provide a good way to express the thoughts and feelings involved in the highest levels of communication. I- messages allow people to express thoughts and feelings in open and honest ways. They are non-threatening, because I-messages focus on the thoughts and feelings of the speaker rather than the behaviors of the listener. Using I-messages is a skill, and, therefore, must be practiced. At first, I-messages may seem forced and unnatural. With time, they replace the "you messages" people so often use. I-messages enable speakers to communicate honestly and openly within relationships. People are more likely to get what they need when they communicate effectively. Relationships are healthier when we say what we mean and mean what we say.

11. I-message I ________________________________ (think, feel, need, want, believe) when__________________________ (state the situation) because ____________________________ (tell the reason) I would like ___________________________ (say what you want to happen)

12. I-message example I felt shocked (think, feel, need, want, believe) when I heard about the separation (state the situation) because I didn't know anything was wrong.(tell the reason) I would like to know what's going to happen to our family. (say what you want to happen)

13. Create a I-message 1. You saw your boyfriend or girlfriend talking and laughing with the person he or she used to date. I ________________________________________ when_____________________________________ because____________________________________. I would like_________________________________.

14. Create a I-message 2. Your brother told your mom something personal that you asked your brother not to tell. I______________________________________ when__________________________________ because_______________________________. I would like_______________________________.

15. Apply what you learned today Situation 1. Your brother invites you out for a hamburger and a talk. During the talk, he tells you he is HIV positive. What is the level of communication? Write an I-message you could use in this situation.

16. Apply what you learned today Situation 2. You told your dad you were sleeping over at a friend's house, but you didn't tell your dad about the party that night. You knew your dad wouldn't let you go, because an adult did not supervise the party. Your dad found out about the party, and you want to apologize. What is the level of communication? Write an I-message you could use in this situation.

17. Apply what you learned today Situation 4. Your friend loaned you $20.00 last month. You know she needs the money, but you don't have enough to pay her back. You start a part-time job next week. What is the level of communication? Write an I-message you could use in this situation.

18. Apply what you learned today Situation 5. You are interested in going out with Tyler, who dated your friend last year. Tyler calls you several times each week and, at first, you were just buddies. Your friend once told you he/she still hopes to date this person again. You decide to talk with your friend about the situation. What is the level of communication? Write an I-message you could use in this situation.