Effective Parenting Skills Chapter 3 Effective Parenting Skills

Learning Essential Questions What skills are needed to be a parent and how are they acquired? What are some effective methods of guiding the behaviors of young children? How can a parent evaluate substitute care?

Unit Vocabulary Accreditation Conscience Deprivation Guidance License Nurturing Self Discipline Subsidized Child Care

Additional Assignments Reviewing the Facts 2, 5, 6, 7 10 Thinking Critically 1, 2, 3

Discuss with your partner: Is parenting something that come naturally or is it learned. Share with the class

Parenting Requires Understanding of a child’s needs Requires good judgment when to help, when to back off avoid pushing a child change skills as child ages Reasonable expectations stages they go through natural behaviors (say no, temper tantrum) respect the difference among children

Parenting Styles Authoritarian Parent centered Child has no say Children obey parents Discipline Sometime physical “what I say goes” Very inflexible all-about-motherhood.com

Parenting Styles Democratic 50/50 relationship Discussion on rules Discussion on punishment Child gets to explain Child has freedom with a set of rules parenting-healthy-children.com

Parenting Styles Permissive Child centered No real rules Child learns from mistakes No discipline Consequences of poor behavior is enough discipline all-about-motherhood.com

Parenting Styles Now it is your turn. You named famous families the other day. Take those cards and not decide what style of parenting they use. Tape the card on the board next to parenting style. When everyone is done, we will discuss if everyone agrees where they are.

Parenting Styles Most important thing to remember: Very few parents use one style all the time. Most parents are a combination of styles. Sometimes they change styles because of situations or people involved. All styles have advantages and disadvantages.

Tasks of Parenting MEETING CHILD’S NEEDS Food, clothing and shelter AS YOU ARE WRITING THESE, LEAVE SPACE TO ADD INFO MEETING CHILD’S NEEDS Food, clothing and shelter Safety and health Teaching them a language Intellectual growth Teach them to get along with others Provide opportunities to love and show love

1. Meeting Child’s Needs The first one is pretty easy. For numbers 2-6, each group of two will come up with at least 2 examples of how parents can provide for this need. When you are done, everyone will share their ideas with the class.

2. Nurturing This is giving opportunities for encouragement (loving) and enrichment (learning). As a parent, you need to show love, support and concern for your child. Parents must remove barriers that prevent children from experiences and learning (examples)

2. Nurturing Some children suffer from deprivation. What is deprivation? it has nothing to do with poverty it has nothing to do with income It has everything to do with giving a child experiences and not missing the “windows of p\opportunity”.

2. Nurturing How can parents help to develop thinking skills in their child? Let child do things themselves (no help) Give hints, don’t tell Praise their successes (all good) Give them too much information (details)

Let’s see this in action http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ox3kDtM0Jdk

2. Nurturing How can parents help to build self confidence in their child? Set reasonable goals Be a good role model Respect and love in the air Complete goals and follow through Allow to make mistakes

Let’s see an example http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-CDhWNAJh4

2. Nurturing Some parents may have trouble showing affection to their child. Why? Some parents do not like to show affection towards boys. Why Some parents may be over-protective of their children. Is this good or bad?

3. Communicating Positively Remember, communication means you are a good listener who shows respect for their child as well as talking to your child.

3.Communicating Positively Tips for good communication Kid words Clear Be positive and polite (not please) Praise Talk not command Interests

And again… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQEM6pqe5Kc

3. Communicating Positively Time for practice. How would you say this is a positive way? Remember that please and thank you do not make it positive.

3. Communicating Positively Don’t throw the ball?

3. Communicating Positively Keep your hands off the glass vase. You will break it!

3. Communicating Positively Don’t spill your milk! Mommy will be very mad at you.

3. Communicating Positively How many times have I told you not to leave your toys laying all over the house. Someone is going to step on one of them and get hurt.

3. Communicating Positively Stop pulling the cat’s tail. You will infuriate her and she will injure your severely?

3. Communicating Positively Don’t eat those cookies before dinner! It will ruin your appetite.

3. Communicating Positively Do not open the door and go outside and play in the street. It can be extremely dangerous and hazardous to your health and well being.

Think about…. A time when you did not behave properly? Briefly explain what happened Tell us how people around reacted Tell us how an adult reacted (parent) Was that effective in stopping the behavior

Some Examples http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aILxZYr7J1s&feature=related (car seat) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1ZR4Av-HBI&NR=1 (change dress) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx8S9AKb_oM (grocery store) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H30YrFg3rqQ&playnext=1&list=PLC51D728EE4267841 (guitar hero)

Guidance Define? process of controlling actions of child Goal? giving advice help understand behavior & consequences Goal? have child act in a developmentally appropriate manner/socially acceptable self discipline How? use firmness and understanding to teach behavior control

Remembering that guidance is the big picture… Why do children need guidance throughout their life? Help learn to get along with others Learn to handle feelings in an acceptable way Develop positive feelings about themselves Learn moral development (conscience)

Do I discipline correctly? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8hPNRt0UY4&feature=fvwrel

Discipline Define? small part of guidance control behavior Goal? obedience? acceptable behavior How? age appropriate punishment

Punishment Define? penalty/consequence for misbehavior small part of discipline Goal? control behavior How? individual decision self esteem of the child is essential

What is the most important word for a parent to remember? Consistency What does it mean? Everyone doing the same thing, the same way, every time!

Why is consistency so important? Children learn to trust the adults in their life. Without consistency: lose trust --- lose confidence --- become confused --- become insecure --- child will not listen (behave)

Parents Need to Encourage Appropriate Behavior Tell child exactly what is expected. Examples: Toys away Dishes away

Parents Need to Encourage Appropriate Behavior Set a good example. Children imitate adults. Child learn by being shown. Examples: Language Actions

Parents Need to Encourage Appropriate Behavior Praise appropriate behavior Positive reinforcement Works for most children Behavior and not child juliecantrell.wordpress.com

Praising Behaviors Be specific/clear Notice behavior when happens Recognize small steps Help them be proud of themselves Encourage in problem areas momsndads.com pregnancyihub.com

Offering Choices Children do not have good problem solving skills. Encourage them to make their own decisions. Be sure to offer no more than 2 good choices.

Setting Limits for Children Why do parents need to set limits? Physical restrictions Rules of behavior What should limits achieve? Keep children from hurting themselves Keep children from hurting others Keep children from hurting property

Setting Limits for Children Limits should be few. Limits should be reasonable. Limits should be clear. Limits should be repeated often mentalhelp.net

Setting Limits for Children As a parent, ask yourself: Does this still allow child to learn, explore and grow? Is it fair and age appropriate? Is it for the good of the child or adult?

Now that you know… You and your partners will be given a situation. As the parent, you need to set 3 GOOD, AGE APPROPRIATE, well worded limits for your child. Think about the rules for setting limits. Be ready to share your limits with the class. You have 3 minutes.