The Sacrament of Matrimony Chapter 9

HELPING EACH OTHER GROW IN LOVE Marriage established by God for two reasons: The good of the husband and wife To help each other understand and experience true love; draws each other closer to God The procreation and education of children The effects of the Sacrament are directed towards the spouse and any children as well.

An Intimate Communion Man and woman were created to be one Original Sin separates the two sexes The Sacrament confers the grace necessary to overcome the division and become one as God intended Love each other physically and emotionally but also in Christ Recognize that God is present in their love for their spouse and children; It’s God’s love acting through them for others Act as a sign of God’s faithful love Daily fidelity through highest and lowest moments

An Intimate Communion “How can I ever express the happiness of a marriage joined by the Church, strengthened by an offering, sealed by a blessing, announced by angels, and ratified by the Father?… How wonderful the bond between two believers, now one in hope, one in desire, one in discipline, one in the same service! They are both children of one Father and servants of the same Master, undivided in spirit and flesh, truly two in one flesh. Where the flesh is one, one also is the spirit.” CCC 1642 Christ’s love for the Church is better understood through marriage commitment Through Matrimony we receive a foretaste of the joy that will result of our final and complete union with our Lord

UNDERSTANDING THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY Man longs to be united It is part of our human nature; we have been detached Woman is man’s helper and vice versa We grow close to each other and attach ourselves to one another; united Through this mutual relationship we both grow to understand the great love and passion Christ has for his Church Through the Church we are prepared to receive the true unity that we have been longing for

Marriage in the New Covenant Christ restored the dignity of marriage, raised it to a sacramental level (divorce, polygamy, adultery) Made it indissoluble “What God has joined together, no human must separate.” (Mt 19:6) Due to the spiritual reality to which it points EFFICACIOUS; What is the reality? To open our eyes, an opportunity to sacrifice ourselves like Christ, make ourselves like him The Bride and Groom are the ministers Confer a grace to each other that is not only for their good but also for the good of the Church Declaration of nullity The marriage was never valid (One of the ministers not fully willing to enter into commitment)

The Sacrament of Marriage Today Only a sacrament if between two baptized Christians Priest or deacon must be present as well as two witnesses Vatican II on Matrimony Christian marriage is to help both spouses grow in spiritual perfection A healthy family life promotes the well-being of both human and Christian society Revised the Rite of Marriage to emphasize the spouses’ duties to one another

CELEBRATING THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY Three rites in Rite of Marriage; wo are a sacrament Rite for Celebrating Marriage During Mass Rite for Celebrating Marriage Outside Mass Rite for Celebrating Marriage Between a Catholic and an Unbaptized Person Church often requires engaged couples to enter marriage prep programs Discuss finances, in-laws, number of children and their education, how to handle disagreements, sexuality, etc.

Free Consent and Exchange of Vows Consent must be freely given Essential for validity Must have sincere desire to be faithful to spouse Must be open to new life, especially children Presence of priest and witnesses expresses that marriage is a reality in the Church with certain rights and responsibilities The priest questions both bride and groom separately on their freedom of choice Then asks them to exchange their marriage consent (vows) Establishes a permanent covenant in love

Blessing and Exchange of Rings Rings do not have a beginning or an end Symbolizes: The eternal love God has for humans The eternal commitment of Christ to the Church The promise by the bride and groom to be faithful to one another until death

Nuptial Blessing After the “Our Father…” Priest raises hands and blesses the couple with the love of God and his graces throughout their days as of married life Similar to laying on of hands Symbolizes the transmission of God’s grace Priest acts in person of Christ; We know God through Christ

Holy Communion Bride and groom celebrate the sacrament of Penance in order to be properly disposed to receive the Eucharist Not part of the wedding ceremony Strengthens and nourishes their married life Receive a blessing at the end of Mass Essentially, that after many years of marriage they may enter the Kingdom of God

THE GRACES OF THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMIONY The commitment of marriage forms a covenant between husband and wife Covenant is a personal contract Lasts forever; doesn’t end when ceremony ends Graces continue throughout their lives The graces of marriage not only cultivate communion within the family but also with Christ, the Church, and society

Communion Between Spouses Marriage “helps to overcome self-absorption, egoism, pursuit of one’s own pleasure, and to open one-self to the other, to mutual aid and to self-giving” (CCC, 1609) Unconditional love no matter what Old age or health condition Love whether you feel like it or not True communion is fruitful Make sacrifices for the better of the other Matrimony at the service of communion Sexuality Fidelity - an attribute of God; both become more like God and grow in holiness Respect and honor each other

Communion in Christ Helps husbands and wives enter into the Paschal Mystery of Christ Marriage becomes a way of discipleship; dying to sin and rising in holiness “Christ abides with them in order that by their mutual self-giving spouses will love each other with enduring fidelity, as he loved the church and delivered himself for it”

The closer we are to God the closer we are to our spouse, children, and neighbors

Family Communion The graces of marriage allow family members to be Christ for one another St. Mary and St. Joseph said yes to raising Jesus so do we in marriage affirm Christ to the world today by raising children and helping them grow in the image of Christ Domestic church The place where Christians receive their first impression of the faith Foster one another’s self-esteem, worth and lovability so that children may do the same when they spread out in the community

Communion with the Church How Christian families join the Church in her mission: Promote faith as well as evangelization at home and with others Parents set a good example Regularly attend Mass, receive the sacraments, practice faith with reverence Help serve the needs of the parish Serve during after Mass Help with Church missions Assist with Catholic education classes

Communion with Society Sacrament of Matrimony calls spouses and their children to help build a world of justice, peace, and love in all places - workplace, athletics, leisure time, politics, etc. Parents socialize their children where they first learn communication and social skills Become aware of the rights and needs of others and their responsibility to contribute to common good Families participate in politics as candidates, voters, and lobbyists Create and/or represent a voice that stands for the values of the Church and her mission Families work to promote justice and peace serve the poor, needy and, defenseless; uphold their human dignity Families teach children that all humans are created in God’s image

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE: A SIGN OF GOD’S ETERNAL COVENANT WITH HUMANITY Matrimony recalls God’s covenant with humanity The Israelites turned away from God time and time again/We continually turn to sin However, God remained steadfast to his promise and honored the covenant they established His love was/is indissoluble; cannot be broken Married couples are called to love each other in the same capacity

Openness to New Life “Fruitful love” For Matrimony to be valid, both spouses must be open to children They are called to be partners with God in creating new life Church teaches against the evils of: Abortion, contraception, and sterilization Prohibits a total giving of self to other spouse. Interfering with God’s plan and having attitude that you know best. Saying to spouse, “I like you but not enough to have kids with you.” Natural Family Planning; responsible method Not all married couples are blessed with children Still called to a life that is fruitful Creates the occasion to serve those in need

The Unity of Marriage “In marriage the physical intimacy of spouses becomes a sign and pledge of spiritual communion” (CCC, 2360) Man and woman’s love becomes incarnate through conjugal sex just like God’s love became incarnate through Christ Two purposes of sex in marriage Unitive Fosters intimacy Provides emotional security; feeling of acceptance (why shouldn’t engage in premarital sex, you are giving another person a false sense of security in yourself; goes for both sexes) Reduces stress and anxiety between the couple Procreative

Sex is Sacramental The act of sex is the sign that initially seals Matrimony but it also continually renews it Just like the Eucharist, the graces are continual and nourish the relationship Man and woman are both body and soul and are therefore sacramental They effect a spiritual reality The union of their bodies through sexual intercourse is also a union of their souls As an incarnate spirit, that is a soul which expresses itself in a body and a body informed by an immortal spirit, man is called to love in his unified totality. Love includes the human body, and the body is made a sharer in spiritual love.” – John Paul II FAMILIARIS CONSORTIO

Sex is Sacramental Children are not only an incarnation of a soul but also of their parents love God uses material, the sexual union of male and female to create new human life Just as God’s Words became Flesh and dwelt among us (Incarnation) So too, does the man and woman’s word (consent/will) become flesh (sexual intercourse; the expression of their will) and dwell among us (children) Sex is sacred because God uses it to foster unity between a man and a woman but also to create new beings in His image

Sex is Sacramental So… if conjugal sex is sacred, what is pre-marital sex? SACRILEGE - the desecration of something holy “It (sexual expression) is realized in a truly human way only if it is an integral part of the love by which a man and a woman commit themselves totally to one another until death. The total physical self- giving would be a lie if it were not the sign and fruit of a total personal self-giving…” - John Paul II FAMILIARIS CONSORTIO

Sex is Sacramental Why is premarital sex a lie? Because if done outside of marriage…you are saying something serious and profound with your body that you have not said with your will, therefore you are lying with your body! Honesty with deepest part of our person = Happiness Dishonesty with the deepest part of our person = Hurt As Christ said at the Last Supper and with His life on the cross, “This is my body, given up for you,” so men and woman say the same in the sacrament of marriage! We have the responsibility to act as ministers in the Sacrament of Marriage, offering ourselves in service to our spouse and leading them towards God and away from sin as Christians we fail if we lie and also do a grave disservice to the other person by leading them astray from God; We are irresponsible with the gift that God has entrusted us with

Sex is Sacramental Receiving the Eucharist is the consummation of our covenant with Christ and God. Sexual union is the husband’s and wife’s consummation of their marriage covenant with each other. According to Augustine “He came to the marriage bed of the cross, and there, in mounting it, he consummated his marriage. And where he perceived the sighs of the creature, he lovingly gave himself up in place of his bride, and he joined himself to the woman forever.” By giving himself up he created the Church By giving ourselves up we contribute to the Church