BULLYING IT HAPPENS IN THE GIRLS’ WORLD

UNDERSTANDING THE GIRLS WORLD Girls are typically social beings – with their identity gained within social groups. Girls are typically social beings – with their identity gained within social groups. Relational Aggression is: Relational Aggression is: Aggressive, hurtful behaviors from within social relationships or friendship groups Aggressive, hurtful behaviors from within social relationships or friendship groups The main form of bullying used by girls (Girl Bullying) The main form of bullying used by girls (Girl Bullying)

THE ROLES WITHIN THE GIRLS’ SOCIAL GROUP The Queen The Queen The Wannabee The Wannabee The Floater The Floater The Target The Target The Sidekick The Gossiper The Direct Bully The Bystander

DO GIRLS BULLY DIFFERENTLY THAN BOYS? HOW?

BULLYING Repeated behaviors intended to hurt someone physically, emotionally, or Socially and usually involves an imbalance or a perceived imbalance of power.

THREE ROLES OF A BULLY SITUATION ARE: 1. BULLY BEHAVIOR 2. TARGET/VICTIM 3. BYSTANDERS

CYBERBULLYING WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Using cyberspace (computers and cell phones) to bully others DANGERS of this new method of bullying: Only a click of a button to send hurtful messages/rumors Only a click of a button to send hurtful messages/rumors Can bully day or night Can bully day or night Can create websites of stories/pictures/jokes ridiculing others Can create websites of stories/pictures/jokes ridiculing others Things are said that would never be used “face to face” Things are said that would never be used “face to face” Gives a sense of anonymity – may say things because you think no one will find out. Gives a sense of anonymity – may say things because you think no one will find out. Ways to HELP: Become computer knowledgeable Become computer knowledgeable Talk to your child about Cyber-bullying. Tell your child if they wouldn’t say it face to face then don’t type it on the computer or phone. Talk to your child about Cyber-bullying. Tell your child if they wouldn’t say it face to face then don’t type it on the computer or phone. Discuss Internet Safety Discuss Internet Safety Monitor you child’ computer activity Monitor you child’ computer activity Report illegal use of on-line behavior Report illegal use of on-line behavior

WHY FOCUS ON THE ISSUE OF GIRL BULLYING? How do we make a positive impact to prevent girl bullying? Help our children develop a strong sense of self Help our children develop a strong sense of self Empathy building Empathy building Good moral values Good moral values Friendship skills Friendship skills Good communication skills Good communication skills Good character building – respectful, responsible, honest, cooperative, good citizen, self disciplined Good character building – respectful, responsible, honest, cooperative, good citizen, self disciplined

WHAT NOT TO DO? IF YOUR CHILD IS BULLYING: Don’t ignore Don’t ignore Don’t punish but discipline instead – it’s a learning process Don’t punish but discipline instead – it’s a learning process IF YOUR CHILD IS THE TARGET OR VICTIM: Don’t minimize, rationalize, or explain away the bully behavior. Don’t minimize, rationalize, or explain away the bully behavior. Don’t blame your child for doing something to aggravate the bully. Don’t blame your child for doing something to aggravate the bully. Don’t tell your child to fight back. Don’t tell your child to fight back. Don’t rush to confront the bully or the bully’s parents Don’t rush to confront the bully or the bully’s parents IF YOUR CHILD IS THE BYSTANDER Don’t tell your child to not get involved Don’t tell your child to not get involved

WHAT TO DO TO HELP WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER IS USING BULLY BEHAVIOR? Intervene immediately with Discipline – restitution, resolution, and reconciliation Intervene immediately with Discipline – restitution, resolution, and reconciliation Create opportunities to “do good” and compliment. Create opportunities to “do good” and compliment. Nurture empathy Nurture empathy Use the Behavior Change Worksheet Use the Behavior Change Worksheet Monitor TV, computer activities, and music Monitor TV, computer activities, and music Be a positive role model. Be a positive role model. Engage in more constructive, entertaining, and energizing activities Engage in more constructive, entertaining, and energizing activities

WHAT TO DO TO HELP WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER IS THE TARGET OR THE VICTIM? Be a good listener. Be a good listener. Let your child know that it is not her fault. Let your child know that it is not her fault. Compliment her on her ability to share this problem and compliment her strengths – empower. Compliment her on her ability to share this problem and compliment her strengths – empower. Guide her through the problem-solving process. Guide her through the problem-solving process. Role-play ways to handle and be assertive. Role-play ways to handle and be assertive. Involve your child in activities outside of school Involve your child in activities outside of school Be a positive role model. WHAT IS SOMETHING DIFFERENT YOU LEARNED ABOUT THE GIRLS’ WORLD AND BULLYING? Be a positive role model. WHAT IS SOMETHING DIFFERENT YOU LEARNED ABOUT THE GIRLS’ WORLD AND BULLYING?

WHAT TO DO TO HELP WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER IS A BYSTANDER? Help your child eliminate excuses for not getting Help your child eliminate excuses for not gettinginvolved. Review different ways to help: Review different ways to help: Refuse to join in on the hurtful behavior. Refuse to join in on the hurtful behavior. Change the subject. Change the subject. Tell the person doing the bullying to stop. Tell the person doing the bullying to stop. Be a friend to the target/victim. Be a friend to the target/victim. Tell an adult. Tell an adult. Compliment your child when she has helped a friend in a difficult situation. Be a positive role model.

WHAT IS SOMETHING DIFFERENT YOU LEARNED ABOUT THE GIRLS’ WORLD AND BULLYING? Think of three new specific things you want to do to make a positive difference for your daughter. “Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles one has overcome while trying to succeed.” by Booker T. Washington