Presentation to the parents of children at Blackbrook School June 2015 Promoting the Emotional Health and Wellbeing of our children. Nurturing resilient learners

What do most parents want for their children? happiness success in school satisfaction with their lives good friendships Good health - both physical and emotional In order to reach these goals, our children need inner strength to deal competently with the many challenges and demands they encounter. We call this capacity to cope and feel competent resilience.

“Health is the basis for a good quality of life and mental health is of overriding importance in this”

Well children are better learners WHY? Children's emotional wellbeing is vital for great learning in the classroom. Without some sense of wellbeing in life, children cannot flourish and reach their potential.

Toolkit to help nurture resilient children

What is resilience and why is it important ? Resilience is the ability to recover and bounce back from adversity and hardships, feeling stronger and more capable to cope than ever before. Resilience is an individual’s capacity to deal with stress and pressure and the ability to cope with everyday challenges, disappointments, hurts and trauma.

The mind-set of a resilient child Resilient children are hopeful possess high self esteem feel special and appreciated. have learned to set realistic goals and expectations. have developed the ability to solve problems and make decisions and thus are more likely to view mistakes, hardships and obstacles as challenges to confront rather than as stressors to avoid.

The mind-set of a resilient child Resilient children are: aware of their weaknesses and vulnerabilities recognize their strong point and talents. have developed effective interpersonal skills with peers and adults are able to seek out assistance and nurturance in appropriate ways. focus on the aspects of their lives over which they have control rather than those over which they have little or no influence.

Characteristics of resilient people adapt to and recover from stressful situations or crises more positively adapt well to changes have a positive, flexible approach on how they'll overcome any problems. are action orientated and don’t give up easily Emotionally resilient people can identify what they are feeling and why they are feeling that way.

Lack of resilience Stress and anxiety over a continued period of time is bad news; it raises risk of poor physical health, impacts on important relationships at work and at home and leaves people exhausted, under-performing and at risk of low self esteem and poor emotional wellbeing which can lead to depression.

Parents toolkit to build resilient children Learning Basics Belonging Coping Core self Positive role model

Maslow Hierarchy of needs

Basics - the necessities needed for life Basics – Good enough housing Enough money to live Being safe Access and transport Healthy diet Exercise and fresh air Playtime and leisure Being free from prejudice and discrimination

Coping - helping children to get by in everyday life Help child to: Understand boundaries and keep within them Be brave Solve problems Put on rose-tinted glasses Foster their interests Calm her/himself down, self-soothe Remember that tomorrow is another day Help child to lean on others when necessary

Learning – encouraging school education but also learning life skills, and developing talents and interests Make school life work as well as possible Engage mentors for children Map out career/life plan Help the child to organise her/himself Highlight achievements Develop life skills

Belonging – helping a child make good relationships with family and friends Find somewhere for the child to belong Tap into good influences Keep relationships going The more healthy relationships the better Take what you can from any relationship where there is some hope Get together people the child can count on

Belonging continued Belonging involves responsibilities and obligations too Focus on good times and places Make sense of where a child has come from Predict a good experience of someone/something new Help child make friends and mix with other children Help child understand her/his place in the world

Being a positive role model Take care of your health. Show understanding, compassion and kindness.. Take three deep breaths when you’re stressed. Be in charge of your emotions. Be patient. Let go of being perfect. Stop and re-think. Take responsibility for your own feelings and actions in front of your children: Use humour. Stay positive. Reach out for support. Reach out to help others who are going through difficult times.

10 strategies to help parents foster resilience in their youngsters. 1. Being empathetic

2. Love - make them feel special and appreciated

2. Communicating effectively

3. Change tack – be flexible

5. Acceptance

6. Build on their strengths

7. Learn from their mistakes

8. Develop responsibility, compassion and social conscience

9. Teach children how to problem solve and make decisions

10. Discipline

Being a positive role model Tips for building caring relationships Give attention and affection – lots of smiles and hugs. This makes your children feel secure, loved and accepted. Play with your children. Playing together is a great way for you to connect, get to know them better and have fun. It’s also a great way for children to develop physical, imagination and social skills.

Tips continued Comfort your children. When children are hurt or frightened, sad or angry, being comforted helps them feel as if they’re not alone with their big feelings. They will feel closer to you and learn healthy ways to comfort themselves and others as they get older. Listen with interest to your children’s feelings, thoughts and ideas. This lets them know you think what they have to say is important

Tips continued Show empathy. Empathy means seeing things from other people’s point of view. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. It just means that you are letting them know you understand how they feel. When children feel understood, it’s easier for them to try to understand others. Empathy is the foundation for developing caring relationships with other people. Help your children identify and express their feelings (glad, sad, mad, scared, etc.). Point out that other people have these feelings, too.

Developing Speech Language and Communication Skills are key to helping your child communicate effectively Why? Resources The Communication Trust resources for Parents Universally Speaking booklets Small talk booklets

Questions