Creating a Secure Base: Understanding Attachment Theory University of Utah Summer Institute Summer 2003 Douglas Goldsmith, Ph.D. Executive Director The Children’s Center

Attachment Emotional bond Behaviors promote proximity Motivational system to seek proximity Enhances feelings of security Motivates baby to take action when frightened

Attachment “To say of a child (or older person) that he is attached to, or has an attachment to, someone means that he is strongly disposed to seek proximity to and contact with the that individual and to do so especially in certain specified conditions.” Bowlby (1988)

Attachment in Action Anxiety provoking situation Exploration decreases Proximity seeking increases Infant regains security Exploratory system re-engages

Attachment Behavior “Attachment behaviour is any form of behavior that results in a person attaining or maintaining proximity to some other clearly defined individual who is conceived as better able to cope with the world. It is most obvious whenever the person is frightened, fatigued, or sick, and is assuaged by comforting and caregiving.” Bowlby 1988

Circle of Security Marvin, Cooper, Hoffman & Powell (2002) Child’s Exploratory System and Needs –The child can move off and explore, if he believes and expects that the attachment figure will be available if, or when, needed Attachment System –The child needs the attachment figure to be available to protect, comfort, delight, and organize his feelings when he becomes overwhelmed

Attachment Classifications The strange situation –Secure 65% –Avoidant 20% –Ambivalent 10% –Disorganized 5-10% (80% maltreated)

Attachment Classifications The strange situation –Secure 65% –Avoidant 20% –Ambivalent 10% –Disorganized 5-10% (80% maltreated)

Secure (B) Uses mother as secure base Signs of missing mother Actively greets with smile or gesture Signals or seeks contact if upset Once comforted resumes exploration Solomon & George (1999) p.291

Avoidant (A) Explores readily Little visible distress when left alone Upon reunion, looks away or actively avoids May stiffen or lean away if picked up Solomon & George (1999) p. 291

Ambivalent (C) Distressed, fretful, passive Fails to explore Unsettled, distressed by separation Alternates bids for contact with signs of angry rejection Fails to find comfort from the parent Solomon & George (1999) p.291

Disorganized (D) Behavior lacks an observable goal Look fearful Behavior is bizarre May try to leave after the reunion or freeze

Secure Attachment Formula Always be bigger, wiser, and kind Whenever possible, follow the child’s lead Whenever necessary, take charge Marvin, et al (2002)

Attachment Problems Bowlby A severely hurt child fails to seek comfort Signals that ordinarily activate attachment behavior fail to do so System controlling attachment, and the feelings and desires associated, is rendered incapable of being aroused

Development of Relationships “For a relationship between any two individuals to proceed harmoniously each must be aware of the other’s point- of-view, his goals, feelings, and intentions, and each must so adjust his own behavior that some alignment of goals is negotiated.

Development of Relationships This requires that each should have reasonably accurate models of self and other which are regularly updated by free communication between them. It is here that the mothers of securely attached children excel, and those of the insecure are markedly deficient.” Bowlby (1988) p. 131

Impact of Empathic Failure “Whatever she fails to recognize in him he is likely to fail to recognize in himself. In this way, it is postulated, major parts of a child’s developing personality can become split off from, that is, out of communication with, those parts of his personality that his mother recognizes and responds to, which in some cases include features of personality that she is attributing to him wrongly.” Bowlby (1988) p.132

Maternal Attributions Fixed beliefs that the mother has about the child – “beliefs that she perceives as objective, accurate perceptions of the child’s essence.” Lieberman (2000)

Positive Maternal Attributions “When a mother sees her child as the cutest, most intelligent, most endearing being ever created, she is summoning from the depths of herself the capacity for ecstasy that allows her to put up with the inevitably annoying, exasperating, or simply tedious aspects of raising a child.” Lieberman (2000)

Maternal Attributions: Protective Function Child feels adored Allow child to cope with self-doubts and feelings of despair Allow parent to better tolerate self- sacrifices that are integral to the parenting process Lieberman (2000)

Negative Maternal Attributions Determine whether and how mother will respond to, misinterpret, or ignore certain behaviors Lieberman (2000)

Parental Empathic Understanding “Parental empathic understanding involves the capacity to see things from the child’s point of view within a balanced, accepting, and coherent frame.” Oppenheim (2000)

Assessment of Parent’s Point of View Interview questions: –Could you give me a thumbnail sketch of your child? –Tell me about a time in the past two weeks when you and your child really clicked. –Tell me about a time when you didn’t. –What gives you the most joy in your relationship? –What gives you the most pain? –Where do you turn for emotional support? Steele (2003)

Assessment – Secure Base Over the past two weeks can you think of a time when your child was: –Hurt? –Frightened? –Separated from you? What did your child do? How did you respond?

Tips For Working With Parents Concept of “Good Grandparenting” Nurture Avoid being sidetracked by opposition Understand underlying feelings Develop coping strategies Focus on the child’s sadness rather than anger

Working with the Child Develop a secure base for exploration –Relationship with a therapist may be a safer beginning –Nurturing behavior must occur regularly and anticipate the child’s needs Help child explore his/her past relationships –Play therapy –Projective games –Sandtray therapy

Working with the Child Utilize therapy groups to help broaden the child’s perception of self –Lifespace interviews –Empathy training Teach the foster and biological parents about child centered play techniques –Filial Therapy Utilize limit setting and natural consequences to increase security

Working with the Child Teach the foster and biological parents communication techniques that deflect the child’s anger and hostility –How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk. Faber & Mazlish Gradually reduce reliance on the therapeutic process and focus on generalization of skills