Journal #11 Look around the room. Pick an object, any object, and describe it in writing with as much detail as possible, without naming the object. Don’t tell anyone what you chose, we are going to try and guess in a few minutes.

Description and Early Prose AP Language and Compostion Mrs. Lewis

How Can Something Be Described?

Effective Selection of Detail Clearly, a good description must evoke sensory impressions in order for the reader to respond to or engage in a description. It is not surprising that most descriptions focus on how something or someone looks. Why might this be?

Effective Selection of Detail “Sophia…the only daughter of Mr. Western, was a middle-sized woman; but rather than inclining to tall. Her shape was not only exact, but extremely delicate; and the nice proportion of her arms promised the truest symmetry in her limbs. Her hair, which was black, was so luxuriant that it reached her middle, before she cut it to comply with the modern fashion; and it was now curled so gracefully in her neck that few could believe it to be her own…Her eybrows were full, even, and arched beyond the power of art to imitate. Her black eyes had a lustre in them which all her softness could not extinguish.” In this passage, Fielding does not give ALL the details of Sophia’s appearance because an overly detailed listing would be tedious and dull. Instead he selects those precise physical characteristics that enable us to see her in our mind’s eye. Why do you think he chose the details above? Let’s look at them one by one.

Effective Selection of Detail Next we will read a descriptive passage by Jamaica Kincaid, Coming to Antigua. In it Kincaid imagines herself a tourist, arriving on her native island of Antigua for the first time. As you read, identify the various sensory details she uses to bring the scene alive for the reader.

Journal #12 Take a minute to think about places that are important to you or where something significant has happened to you. This should be a specific place, not just a type of place (ex. Central Park, not “a park”). Start to describe that place with sensory details.

Effective Arrangement of Detail As we discussed the other day, the first basic principle of description is that it should involve the senses or evoke sensory impressions through the selection of detail. Next, it is important to maintain a consistent point of view and arrange details in an order that is inherent to the subject or dictated by the context.

Effective Arrangement of Detail A meaningful organization for a description of an event is often A meaningful organization for a description of an event is often chronological (beginning to end). A meaningful organization for a series of related actions would be causal (cause and effect).

Effective Arrangement of Detail A meaningful organization for a description of a place is often A meaningful organization for a description of a place is often spatial:   The author describes from right to left, or vice versa.   The author describes from up to down, or vice versa.   The author describes from out to in, or vice versa.   The author moves from general or larger detail to specific or smaller detail, or vice versa.   The author spirals around a space, in a circular fashion.

Effective Arrangement of Detail In spatial organization, point of view is especially important because it determines what writers can see, how they see what they do, how what they see makes them feel, and so on. For example, in Kincaid’s essay, the writer imagines a moving observer, passing from one point in Antigua to another, describing, item by item, what the observer sees as he/she goes along.

Effective Arrangement of Detail The Kingdom of Didd by Dr. Seuss The Kingdom of Didd was ruled by King Derwin. His palace stood high on the top of the mountain. From his balcony, he looked down over the houses of all his subjects—first, over the spires of the noblemen’s castles, across the broad roofs of the rich men’s mansions, then over the little houses of the townsfolk, to the huts of the farmers far off in the fields. It was a mighty view and it made King Derwin feel mighty important. Far off in the fields, on the edge of a cranberrry bog, stood the hut of the Cubbins family. From the small door Bartholomew looked across the huts of the farmers to the houses of the townsfolk, then to the rich men’s mansions and the noblemen’s castles, up to the great towering palace of the King. It was exactly the same view that King Derwin saw from his balcony, but Bartholomew saw it backward. It was a mighty view, but it made Bartholomew Cubbins feel mighty small. How does the viewpoint change the description and the effect of the description?

Effective Arrangement of Detail Now we will read a passage by John V. Young, Moonrise over Monument Valley. Pay attention to Young’s arrangement of detail and the impact this has on the way we experience the place he describes. Note the point of view Young uses and how this contributes to the organization of the piece.

Journal #13

Journal #14 Describe the gunky stuff that gets caught in the basket at the bottom of the sink. Don’t use the words disgusting or gross.

Creating Mood in Description What is mood? Mood is the overall feeling the reader gets from a text. How is it created? Mood comes from word choice and sentence structure. Mood can be created in descriptions of the surroundings, feelings of the characters and actions that take place. Choosing appropriate words for different events will create the mood that is right for a particular scene.

Creating Mood in Description Mood Activity Part 1: You will get into your groups of 4. Each group will be given a “mood” and 5 minutes to come up with as many words that fit that mood as possible.

Creating Mood in Description Mood Activity Part 2: You will stay in your groups, but your “Mood” list will be switched with the list of another team. Your group will have 10 minutes to use ALL of the words on the list to write a short story that creates that “Mood”.

Creating Mood in Description Mood Activity Part 3: Let’s share!

Creating Mood in Description As we read “Shady Grove, Alabama, July 1936” think about the mood James Agee creates and the ways that he does this. Highlight words that you think contribute to the mood of the piece as you read. Also, think about how the selection of detail and the organization of the piece contribute to it’s mood.

Journal #15 Describe a car, using at least five comparisons to food. Only one of these can be a color related comparison.

Journal #16 Which of these statements do you agree with most: A.The Narrative assignment was easier than the Description assignment. B.The Description assignment was easier than the Narrative assignment. C.Writing both assignments was equally difficult. D.Writing both assignments was equally easy. E.I didn’t write one or both of the assignments. Explain why you agree with that statement the most. Explain how the writing process was for you.

Trends for Pilgrim at Tinker Creek Essays Simple restatement of Thesis Some Great Analysis Analysis that did not link back to Thesis Summarizing or Evaluating instead of Analysis Lack of understanding of Syntax/Syntactical Devices Lack of understanding of how to talk about rhetorical devices in general

Deconstructing the Prompt As you know, Annie Dillard’s writing deals with the human connection and impact on nature. Read the passage below that expresses her opinions on this human intervention and/or progress. Then write an essay in which you analyze the language—especially the figures of speech and syntax—Dillard uses to convey her opinions.

Analyzing the Passage What is/are Annie Dillard’s opinions on the human connection and impact on nature? What figures of speech does she use to communicate her opinion(s)? What syntactical devices does she use to communicate her opinion(s)?

Rewriting the Essay

Writing an Introduction Because first impressions are so important, it is very important to have a strong introduction to any essay. A strong introduction acts as a funnel, going from a broader topic to a specific argument (your thesis). 1-2 sentences 1 sentence

Broad Opener/Hook Your opener, the first 1-2 sentences of your introduction, should be something that gets your readers attention and makes them want to keep reading. It should be something broadly related to your topic. Common openers: 1.Anecdote 2.Quote 3.A surprising fact 4.A historic or related fact 5.A general statement

Background Information This should include: the author and title of the passage. the author and title of the passage. It may include: brief summary brief summary beginning discussion of your topics beginning discussion of your topics

How to Write a Thesis

Journal #17 Finish this sentence 3 different ways, creating a different feeling with each sentence: Antonio opened the door, he gasped to see…

Peer Check of your Introduction Paragraph Checking your Introduction 1.Get out your Introduction Paragraph for the “Pilgrim at Tinker Creek” essay and and 3 different color highlighters. 2.Use one color to highlight your opener. Then label it as its type: Anecdote, Quote, Surprising Fact, Historic or Related Fact, or General Statement 3.Use a second color to highlight your background information (including the author’s name and title) 4.Use the third highlighter to highlight your thesis statement.

Writing a Body Paragraph The Jane Schaffer Way: Topic Sentence Concrete Detail Commentary Commentary Concrete Detail Commentary Commentary Concluding Sentence Each body paragraph should be at least 100 words in length. The more words you use well, the better your writing will get. Quality NOT Quantity! Minimum 8 Sentences

Topic Sentence It is the first sentence of the paragraph. It shows the main idea. It shows the main idea. Usually a mildly controversial statement-- something that you have to prove

Concrete Detail These are your facts, quotes, examples, etc. from the text. CDs can’t be argued with—a CD is evidence that supports your point!

Commentary This is your analysis, interpretation, explanation, or insight into the text.

Concluding Statement This is a wrap up of your discussion in this body paragraph. It should link back to your thesis. It may also provide a transition to your next topic.

Journal #18 Here is the beginning of a paragraph: Quenton felt queasy after eating quince and quail. Finish the paragraph, using as many “qu” words as possible. Try for at least 10.

Checking Body Paragraphs Checking your Body Paragraph Get out your Body Paragraphs for the “Pilgrim at Tinker Creek” essay and and 3 different color highlighters. Then for each paragraph: 1.Use one color to highlight your topic sentence and concluding sentence. 2.Use a second color to highlight your concrete details (facts, quotes, examples, etc.) 3.Use the third highlighter to highlight commentary (analysis, interpretation, explanation, etc.)

Writing a Conclusion Your conclusion is your chance to have the last word on the subject. The conclusion allows you to have the final say on the issues you have raised in your paper, to summarize your thoughts, to demonstrate the importance of your ideas, and to propel your reader to a new view of the subject. It is also your opportunity to make a good final impression and to end on a positive note. Your conclusion can go beyond the confines of the assignment. The conclusion pushes beyond the boundaries of the prompt and allows you to consider broader issues, make new connections, and elaborate on the significance of your findings.

Strategies for Writing an Effective Conclusion Return to the theme or themes in the introduction. This strategy brings the reader full circle. For example, if you begin by describing a scenario, you can end with the same scenario as proof that your essay is helpful in creating a new understanding. You may also refer to the introductory paragraph by using key words or parallel concepts and images that you also used in the introduction. Synthesize, don’t summarize: Include a brief summary of the paper’s main points, but don’t simply repeat things that were in your paper. Instead, show your reader how the points you made and the support and examples you used fit together. Pull it all together. Include a provocative insight or quotation from the research or reading you did for your paper.

Strategies to Avoid Beginning with an unnecessary, overused phrase such as “in conclusion,” “in summary,” or “in closing.” Although these phrases can work in speeches, they come across as wooden and trite in writing. Stating the thesis for the very first time in the conclusion. Introducing a new idea or subtopic in your conclusion. Ending with a rephrased thesis statement without any substantive changes. Making sentimental, emotional appeals that are out of character with the rest of an analytical paper. Including evidence (quotations, statistics, etc.) that should be in the body of the paper.

Analyzing Description   Your primary purpose in analyzing a descriptive essay is to figure out mood or dominant impression the author creates in their description.   Your second purpose is to explain what rhetorical devices the author uses to create that mood or dominant impression.

Sample Prompt Read the following passage carefully. Then, in a well-developed essay, discuss the effect the passage has on the reader by analyzing the techniques used by the writer to achieve that effect. In your essay, you should consider such aspects of writing as organization, point of view, language, and selection of detail.

Sample Prompt Read the following passage carefully. Then, in a well-developed essay, discuss the effect the passage has on the reader by analyzing the techniques used by the writer to achieve that effect. In your essay, you should consider such aspects of writing as organization, point of view, language, and selection of detail.

Let’s Analyze! Read “Battle of the Ants” carefully. Then, in a well-developed essay, discuss the effect the passage has on the reader by analyzing the techniques used by the writer to achieve that effect. In your essay, you should consider such aspects of writing as organization, point of view, language, and selection of detail As you read decide what effect (dominant impression/mood) Thoreau is creating. Find 3 words from your mood list that you think encompass this effect As you re-read, search for, then highlight the different techniques (rhetorical devices) that Thoreau uses to create that effect (dominant impression/mood). Pick 3-5 of these techniques that Thoreau uses most prominently Fill in the Analysis Organizer.

Journal # 21 Description Analysis Essay Self-Check: Do the following to each of your body paragraphs: 1. Hi-lite all direct quotes (including tags or stems) from the piece you are analyzing. 2. Hi-lite all material that restates what the author of the essay you are analyzing said. (This includes all paraphrases or translations of his words into your own words.) 3. Hi-lite all material that tells what happened in the piece you are analyzing. (plot summary) 4. Put parentheses around your Topic Sentence and Conclusion Sentence. 5. Hi-lite all material that simply connects to your topic sentence (This will be most of your claim sentences). WHAT"S LEFT is your analysis of the piece. Do you have any?

Journal # 22 Time to turn in your essay! 1. 1.Staple the Rubric to the top of your Final Draft and any drafts or pre- writing you have Give yourself a grade: A. A.Circle the score you think you deserve. B. B.Below, explain why you think you deserve this score. Be as specific as possible. One-two sentences is not enough. Really reflect on your writing and what you feel good about or what you are not so confident about. Then turn it in! Yay! You are done!