“Relationships That Stick: How to Reach Your Friends with What Matters Most!” Eric Kelly National Juvenile Justice Director Youth for Christ USA

Who do you love? Think of 3 people who you want to connect with.

What does it mean to be genuine It is like offering someone a “back stage pass” to my life, so they can see who I really am and that I really, desperately need Jesus.

So what about us "Preach the gospel always, If necessary use words." ~ St. Francis of Assisi Story of the good Samaritan Are we living the life we are trying to share? That’s being genuine!

See it really only works this way….

John 15:1-11 Abiding Abiding They get connected because we are connected. They get connected because we are connected. They know when we aren't being real (the alarms turn on) They know when we aren't being real (the alarms turn on) Grab someone nearby and share an area of your life that needs to get reconnected to the vine

People Listen to People Who Listen!

Laws of Listening Somebody has to go first---help them feel safe Somebody has to go first---help them feel safe Don’t compete for airtime-listen more then you talk Don’t compete for airtime-listen more then you talk Some of the best questions have no questions marks at the end Some of the best questions have no questions marks at the end Say it again---tell your friend what you think you heard so she or he can correct your false perceptions Say it again---tell your friend what you think you heard so she or he can correct your false perceptions Gently ask the tough questions—be prepared to answer what you ask Gently ask the tough questions—be prepared to answer what you ask If your friend believes you’re listening because you have an agenda, they may stop trusting you. Listening well means listening in order to love – not to convert them. God will draw people to himself in His time. If your friend believes you’re listening because you have an agenda, they may stop trusting you. Listening well means listening in order to love – not to convert them. God will draw people to himself in His time.

Love others It's tough to show up in their world when we're not always wanted. 2. It's tough to show interest when we can't relate to what they're into. 3. It's tough to release our time when it doesn't seem pay off in a meaningful way.

1 Peter 3:15 (NIV) But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect. Well now they have asked you….What do you say???

How do I share? 1. I remember Jesus‘ compassion so I seek first to understand rather than fix or judge others. 1. I remember Jesus‘ compassion so I seek first to understand rather than fix or judge others. 2. I talk about Jesus naturally, in ways that reveal who He is and what he means to me. 2. I talk about Jesus naturally, in ways that reveal who He is and what he means to me. 3. I talk about Jesus early on in relationships. 3. I talk about Jesus early on in relationships. 4. Remember…BE REAL Share your struggles, share what you 4. Remember…BE REAL Share your struggles, share what you don’t know. You don’t have to have an answer for everything don’t know. You don’t have to have an answer for everything

How don’t I share? Vomit Evangelism Vomit Evangelism Confrontation Evangelism Confrontation Evangelism “People don’t care what you know until they know that you care” “People don’t care what you know until they know that you care” It is more important to tell others how much you need Jesus Christ than to tell them how much they need Jesus Christ! It is more important to tell others how much you need Jesus Christ than to tell them how much they need Jesus Christ! Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:5-6 (NIV)

Eric Kelly National Juvenile Justice Director Youth for Christ USA