Active Listening: A Direct Guidance Technique that Works! Ellen Marshall, Ph.D. emarshall@alamo.edu Cathy McAuliffe-Dickerson, Ph.D. cathy19482000@yahoo.com

Session Agenda Session Goals Icebreaker Direct Guidance What is it? What is the relationship between direct guidance and indirect guidance? Direct Guidance Technique Active listening Reflection and Evaluation

Session Goals We want you to understand the short-term and long-term value of using positive direct guidance techniques in your classroom We also want to give you an opportunity to practice one of these techniques so that you feel comfortable trying it when you return to your classrooms!

Icebreaker: Stand up if this statement applies to you!

Direct Guidance Direct guidance encompasses all the techniques that we use when children have either knowingly or unknowingly stepped outside the boundaries of safe, responsible, and respectful behavior Developmentally appropriate direct guidance is neither punitive nor negative, and the child’s self-esteem is not negatively impacted

Indirect Guidance Indirect guidance encompasses all the “behind the scenes” kinds of things that we do The physical environment Arranging the indoor and outdoor environment Posting signs and rebuses in the environment Providing a developmentally appropriate curriculum The temporal environment Scheduling the day The psychological environment Developing warm and nurturing relationships

Why is indirect guidance so important? Physical Environment Temporal Environment Psychological Environment

Direct Guidance Techniques Active Listening Setting Limits Negotiation

Short-Term Value It works! Children learn how to behave appropriately in the classroom environment

Long-Term Value It works! And it lasts a lifetime… When adults use positive direct guidance techniques, children Learn to solve problems Feel good about themselves Have empathy for others

Active Listening Why focus today on active listening? It lays the foundation for a trusting relationship Children are more cooperative when they know you are really listening to them Using active listening alone can often be the only technique you need Using active listening with other direct guidance techniques is very powerful, as well…

Think back… Think about yourself when you were a child Did adults REALLY listen to you? Did adults acknowledge your feelings? Did adults accept your feelings? Or did you feel that some feelings were “bad” feelings?

Try this Choose one of the situations on the handout entitled Listening to Adults Respond to the person in the space provided Scenario #1? Scenario #2?

Roadblocks to Communication There are twelve frequently used “helping attempts” that people make instead of actively listening Let’s go over them…

Roadblocks ORDERING – COMMANDING WARNING – THREATENING “You must…” You have to…” “You will…” WARNING – THREATENING “If you don’t…, then…” “You’d better…, or else…” MORALIZING – PREACHING “You really should…” “You ought to…” “It’s your responsibility to…”

Roadblocks ADVISING – GIVING SOLUTIONS PERSUADING WITH LOGIC – ARGUING “What I would do is…” “Why don’t you…” “Let me suggest…” PERSUADING WITH LOGIC – ARGUING “Here is why you are wrong…” “The facts are…” “Yes, but…” JUDGING – CRITICIZING – BLAMING “You aren’t thinking maturely…” “You’re lazy…”

Roadblocks PRAISING – AGREEING NAME-CALLING – RIDICULING “Well, I think you’re doing a great job!” “You’re right; that sounds awful!” NAME-CALLING – RIDICULING “Don’t be such a complainer…” OK, Ms. Early Childhood Expert…” ANALYZING – DIAGNOSING “What’s wrong with you is that…” “I think maybe your’re just tired…” “You don’t really mean that…”

Roadblocks REASSURING – SYMPATHIZING PROBING – QUESTIONING “Don’t worry…” “You’ll feel better…” “Oh, cheer up!” PROBING – QUESTIONING “Why…?” “Who…?” “What did you…” “How…” DIVERTING – USING SARCASM – WITHDRAWING “Let’s talk about something more pleasant!” Why don’t you trying running a school like that?!” Remaining silent and/or turning away…

Let’s go back… Read the response you wrote to either Scenario #1 or Scenario #2… Did you use any of these roadblocks? Let’s talk about how the feelings being expressed in these two scenarios. Now, see if you might need to re-write your response…

More information about active listening Get into groups of three On the first page of the handout entitled About Active Listening, one person in each group reads one of the sections Food for Thought What Good Listeners Do What Poor Listeners Do Explain your section to the others in your group

More Practice.. Look at the handout entitled Application, Synthesis, Analysis and Evaluation Application: Is this active listening or not? Synthesis: Write an active listening response; you may also right a follow-up, if you wish Analysis and Evaluation: Write down a situation and an active listening response; have another student evaluate your answers…did you use roadblocks??

Thank you! If you are in the Mano a mano cohort, remember that we will be asking you to share information from conference sessions when we meet on Friday morning!

cathy19482000@yahoo.com emarshall@alamo.edu