Chapter 5 The Grieving Process

Types of Loss  Obvious Loss  Death, theft, failure, injury, disability  Loss Due to Change  Divorce, moving, change of school/teacher  Unnoticed Loss  Graduation, marriage, birth of a child

Responding to Loss  Grief  Deer and poignant distress, usually accompanied by sorrow  Mourning  A process by which people express their grief after the death of a loved one

Victor Frankl, Nazi concentration camp survivor When you find that it is your destiny to grieve and suffer, you will have to accept your suffering as your single and unique task. You will have to acknowledge the fact that even in suffering you are unique and alone in the universe. No one can relieve you of your grief or suffer in your place. Your unique opportunity lies in the way in which you bear your burden.

Psychological Reponses to Death  After death  Sudden loss  Before a person dies  Mourning as a person suffers  The death may bring a sense of relief

The Nature of Grief  A price for living fully? For loving?  How to avoid grief?  Die at a young age  Never love or care for anyone

The nature of grief  A process rather than just a feeling  a process of recognizing feelings and dealing with them  A mishmash of many feelings:  Sorrow, fear, anger, guilt etc.

Feelings of Grief  Sorrow  deep distress, sadness, or regret  Fear  Chart on page 69  Anger  At the doctors, at the person who died, at others, at himself or herself  Guilt  If only I had done something different

grief does end  Bereavement  The entire grieving process, especially experienced by someone who has lost a loved one to death  Three major movements or phases

3 phases of grief 1.withdraw emotionally from society 2.Transition ~beginning to cope 3.Acceptance ~take up their lives again

Advice for processing Grief  Feel your grief, don’t run away from it.  Review the past in order to own it and let it go.  Envision your future. Visualize what it might be.  Return to your present anew. Enter fully into the present moment.