Marriage was God’s idea and parenting was His plan for reproducing His image on the earth. So…

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Presentation transcript:

Marriage was God’s idea and parenting was His plan for reproducing His image on the earth. So…

If you want to have a Godly marriage and be a Godly parent… where do you start?

You start with yourself.

Personality Profile Sanguine Choleric Melancholy Phlegmatic

Sanguine Fun Life of the party Outgoing/Popular Social “Otter”

Choleric Control Born Leader In Charge Powerful “Lion”

Melancholy Perfectionist Thinker Organized Likes structure “Beaver”

Phlegmatic Peaceful Agreeable Good Listener “Golden Retriever”

Mad About You Ways To Bury Conflict Stay too busy Change the subject Become passive Play the peace at any price game Rejection of feelings

Mad About You Quick Tips to Remember During Conflict. *Calm Down *Make understanding your aim *Listen / Eye Contact. *Do not attack - verbally or physically *Avoid making “You” statements. *Do not defend yourself.

Mad About You Quick Tips to Remember During Conflict. *Leave the past in the past. *Keep short accounts. *Act wisely not foolishly. *He/She is not the enemy.

Parenting Everyone has an opinion on how to develop and maintain a healthy family/home life. H umor O pportunity M eeting Needs E quipping

Parenting H umor One of the marks of maturity is to be able to laugh at yourself. - Let your kids see you laugh at yourself.

Parenting O pportunity Find one thing they do well and affirm it.

Parenting M eeting Needs Acceptance Affirmation Approval Affection Authority Access

Parenting E quipping “Teach them to your children, and talk about them when you sit at home and walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them down and tie them to your hands as a sign. Tie them on your forehead to remind you, and write them on your doors and gates.” Deut. 6:7-9

Everything a child hears, sees and does is stored---at least sub-consciously and though the child may be unaware of it, these deposits help make him what he is as he matures. -Jerry Jenkins

Rebellion: When the Beaver Starts Acting Like Beavis Rebellion is... Arise against authority. Rebellion is... The deliberate avoidance, neglect, or turning away from a faith they once held as their own.

Rebellion: When the Beaver Starts Acting Like Beavis There Are Two Kinds of Rebellion: Passive Active Focus on the Family Parent Survey Results: 33% said their children did not rebel. 37% said their children definitely rebelled. 30% said their children went through periods of minor rebellion.

Facts About Dealing with Rebellion Rules without a relationship result in rebellion. Rules with a relationship result in respect. Clear expectations during the early years can lessen the chances for strong rebellion in the teen years.

Facts About Dealing with Rebellion (cont.) Saying “No” all the time leads to rebellion. It could be passive rebellion. Mom and Dad are a “no win” situation. Strong love overcomes rebellion. If Mom and Dad are not together regarding kids’ issues, rebellion is maximized.

How to Minimize Rebellion: Start early talking and listening to your children. Realize not everything is a big deal. Be Calm. Give them experiential knowledge of the truth about consequences. Do not discipline when you are Hungry, Angry, or Tired. Do not let conflict consume your life.

Forgiveness What is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness What is Forgiveness? 1. To cancel punishment.

Forgiveness What is Forgiveness? 1. To cancel punishment. 2. To erase what is due.

Forgiveness What is Forgiveness? 1. To cancel punishment. 2. To erase what is due. 3. To give up resentment.

Forgiveness What Forgiveness Is Not 1. Forgiveness is not just saying “I’m sorry.” 2. Forgiveness is not conditional. 3. Forgiveness is not a feeling. 4. Forgiveness is not keeping score. 5. Forgiveness is not pretending the situation never happened. 6. Forgiveness is not indifference.

Forgiveness What Forgiveness Is Not 7. Forgiveness is not condoning the wrong. 8. Forgiveness is not saying, “Let’s just forget about it.” 9. Forgiveness does not strive to teach the offender a lesson.

Forgiveness What Forgiveness Is Not 10. Forgiveness does not mean there won’t be consequences. 11. Forgiveness does not mean the person you forgave will change. 12. Forgiveness deals effectively with past wounds, but doesn’t insulate from future hurts.

Forgiveness YOU’RE THE OFFENDER: -How do you get forgiveness? 1. Humbly Ask 1 John 1:9 YOU’VE BEEN OFFENDED: -How do you forgive? 1. Ask for Mercy, not for Justice. Matthew 18:21-35