Leadership Basics 101: Leading a Cavalry Charge Defying Gravity - Wonderful Ways to Worship Saturday November 9, 2013 Mark J. Bernstein CERG Growth Development Consultant

Principles of Leadership Identifying a Leader Lack of Leaders in Our Congregations Searching for Leaders What it takes to be a Leader Listening Well Creating Trust

So…what is leadership?

The only definition of a leader is someone who has followers Peter Drucker Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less John Maxwell

Leadership is a function of knowing yourself, having a vision that is well communicated, building trust among colleagues, and taking effective action to realize your own leadership potential. Warren Bennis

“Who” Leadership We lead not by virtue of our title or position, but by virtue of who we are and what we stand for.

Ways to Identify a Leader: 1.Evidence of leadership in the past 2.Has a capacity to create vision 3.Enjoys the thrill of the challenge 4.Demonstrates a constructive spirit of discontent 5.Offers practical ideas 6.Takes responsibility and risks 7.Is mentally tough 8.Enjoys the respect of peers 9.Has a quality that makes people listen From Ten Ways to Identify a Promising Person. Fred Smith, 1996

10. Challenges the Status Quo

Again with the pondering??? Here’s what I’m pondering…I’m pondering if there’s going to be an afternoon snack.

1. Know and Commit to Our Unitarian Universalist Faith

2. Take Responsibility for Decisions Made and Actions Taken

3. Understand and Respect Boundaries

Self-Differentiation Extreme closeness creates emotional fusion. There is a need to think, feel or act alike. Perceived differences are seen as threats. Extreme separateness results in emotional cut-off. People avoid one another or protect their “turf”. CloseSeparate

4. Give Yourself Permission to be Vulnerable

5. Live Your Values

Write Your Legacy: How do you want to be remembered?

Gandhi spoke of absolute values or universal principles that guide our conduct. His were truth and nonviolence. What are your absolute values? Look to your legacy for the answers.

6. Empower Others

7. Embody the Mission of Your Congregation

8. Listen Well; Instill Trust

A MAN IS AFRAID TO GO HOME BECAUSE THERE IS A MAN WITH A MASK WAITING FOR HIM

Deep Listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open- hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand. Sue Patton Thoele

4 Cores of Credibility 1.Integrity: It’s walking your talk. It’s being congruent, inside and out. It’s having the courage to act in accordance with your values and beliefs. 2. Intent: Our motives, our agendas and our resulting behavior. Trust grows when our motives are straightforward and based on mutual benefit, when we genuinely care not only for ourselves but also for the people we interact with, lead or serve.

4 Cores of Credibility 3. Capabilities: The abilities we have that inspire confidence: our talents, attitudes, skills, knowledge and style. They are the means we use to produce results. Capabilities also deal with our ability to establish, grow, extend and restore trust. 4. Results: Our track record, our performance, our getting the right things done. If we don’t accomplish what we are expected to do, it diminishes our credibility. On the other hand, when we achieve the results we promised, we establish a positive reputation of performing, of being a producer, and our reputation precedes us.

The 13 Behaviors for Cultivating Trust Character Talk Straight Demonstrate Respect Create Transparency Right Wrongs Show Loyalty Competence Deliver Results Get Better Confront Reality Clarify Expectations Practice Accountability

The 13 Behaviors for Cultivating Trust Character and Competence Listen First Keep Commitments Extend Trust The quickest way to decrease trust is to violate a behavior of character, while the quickest way to increase trust is to demonstrate a behavior of competence.