Effective Communication Deacon Jerry Clark

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication Unity in Marriage Pray WITH one another Pray FOR one another

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication Introduction  Good Communication Fundamentals Key to a Solid Relationship  FIRST develop skills of openness, honesty and sensitivity  Secondly, and of equal importance, is to become an ACTIVE listener.

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication Introduction  Helps you work together  Resolves differences  Deepens the relationship Good Communications:

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication Introduction  You Can’t Not Communicate  Words – 7% of what we communicate  How we say it – 38%  Body Language – 55%

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication Introduction  Screens and Filters  Our Attitudes & Expectations Are:  Formed by our experiences  Families of origin  Previous relationships  Different Temperaments  Gender Differences in Communication  Can You Name Some?

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication How Do We Communicate?  Levels of Communication  Functional  Thoughts & Opinions/ Wants & Dreams

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication Love Languages  Words of Affirmation  Quality Time  Gifts  Acts of Service  Physical Touch  Needs and Feelings But there are lots of dialects!!

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication  It’s Frequent  It’s Specific  Must Be a Good Listener  Various Levels-Functional, Dreams, Needs & Feelings  Appropriately Timed  It Fits Spouse’s Style  Love Languages Good Communication in Marriage

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication Effective Communication  Receive Messages Openly  Send Messages Clearly  Send Messages Completely  Send Messages Congruently  Take Responsibility  Respect Each Other  Risk the Positive

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication Obstacles to Communication  Fear  Anger and Hostility  Indifference  Control  Poor Self-Image  Don’t Want to Solve Problems

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication Obstacles to Communication  Crystal Ball  Doormat  Attack Missile  Robot  Traffic Circle  Hot Line  Crossword Puzzle  Labeler  Snob Do any of the following attitudes apply to you or your fiancé?

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication What About Differences?  Differences are Not to be taken lightly  Differences need not frighten you  Differences mean you must communicate

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication Managing Conflict Fighting fair  Give Equal Opportunity  Stick to the Issue  Finish the Fight (Discussion)  Understand & be Understood

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication Managing Conflict The Do’s of Fighting fair  Admit when you’re wrong  Make up  Move on together

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication Managing Conflict The Don’ts of Fighting fair  Dominate  Dredge up the Past  Postpone a Decision  Resort to “Mud Slinging”  Use Physical Violence

The Covenant …Marriage in Christ The Unifying Power of Communication Managing Conflict The Don’ts of Fighting fair  Use sex as a Source of Power  Use the Silent Treatment  Always Give in  Make a Scene