Composing Business Messages Chapter 3 Composing Business Messages

The Writing Process Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 2

Phase 2 of the Writing Process Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 3

Phase 2: Researching Collect information that answers these questions: What does the receiver need to know about this topic? What is the receiver to do? How is the receiver to do it and when? What will happen if the receiver doesn’t do it? Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 4

Phase 2: Researching Formal Research Methods Search manually. Access electronically. Go to the source. Conduct scientific experiments. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 5

Phase 2: Researching Informal Research Methods and Idea Generation Look in the files. Talk with your boss. Interview the target audience. Conduct an informal survey. Brainstorm ideas. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 6

Phase 2: Organizing Organizing involves two processes: Grouping Well-organized messages group similar ideas together. Strategizing You must decide where in the message to place the main idea. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 7

Title: Major Idea or Purpose Phase 2: Organizing I. First major component First subpoint Detail, illustration, evidence B. Second subpoint 1. 2. II. Second major component Title: Major Idea or Purpose Organizing Information Into an Outline Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 8

Phase 2: Organizing Tips for Making Outlines Define main topic in title. Divide the topic into three to five main points. Break the components into subpoints. Make each component exclusive (no overlapping). Don't put a single item under a major component. Use details and evidence to support subpoints. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 9

details and explanations DIRECT STRATEGY Organizing Business Messages Main idea comes first followed by details and explanations Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 10

Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 11

Organizing Business Messages Explanation precedes main idea INDIRECT STRATEGY Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 12

Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 13

Advantages Saves reader’s time Sets a proper frame of mind DIRECT STRATEGY Saves reader’s time Sets a proper frame of mind Prevents frustration Appears businesslike Advantages INDIRECT STRATEGY Respects feelings of audience Encourages a fair hearing Minimizes a negative reaction Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 14

Useful when Receiver is receptive DIRECT STRATEGY Receiver is receptive Receiver requires no education about topic Message is routine Useful when INDIRECT STRATEGY Receiver may be upset or hostile Receiver must be persuaded or educated Message is sensitive Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 15

Phase 2: Composing Business writers must be able to: Develop effective sentences. Improve writing techniques. Draft powerful paragraphs. Compose a first draft. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 16

Effective Sentences Complete sentences have subjects Phrases Clauses Complete sentences have subjects and verbs and make sense (are capable of standing alone). subject verb Employees send many e-mail messages. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 17

Effective Sentences dependent clause independent clause Complete Sentences Clauses Phrases Clauses also have subjects and verbs. Independent clauses can stand alone. Dependent clauses rely on independent clauses for their meaning. dependent clause independent clause When you speak, you reveal yourself. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 18

Effective Sentences phrase phrase Complete Sentences Clauses Phrases Phrases are groups of related words without subjects and verbs. phrase phrase In the afternoon, I work at the mall. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 19

Effective Sentences Use four sentence types to achieve variety. Simple sentence (one independent clause) LinkedIn decided to sell its stock to the public. Compound sentence (two independent clauses) The company went public, and the price per share doubled the first day. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 20

Effective Sentences Use four sentence types to achieve variety. Complex Sentence (one independent and one dependent clause) Because LinkedIn’s IPO was so successful, the entire stock market went up. Compound-complex sentence (at least two independent clauses and one dependent clause) Although many investors bought LinkedIn stock the first day, some were disappointed; however, they were able to purchase shares shortly after. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 21

Source: American Press Institute Effective Sentences Use short sentences. Sentence Length 8 words 15 words 19 words 28 words Comprehension Rate 100% 90% 80% 50% Source: American Press Institute Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 22

Effective Sentences 1. Fragment Revision: Avoid three common sentence faults. 1. Fragment Even though the pay was low. Many candidates applied. Revision: Even though the pay was low, many candidates applied. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 23

Effective Sentences 2. Run-on (fused) sentence Revisions: Avoid three common sentence faults. 2. Run-on (fused) sentence Two candidates applied only one was hired. Revisions: Two candidates applied. Only one was hired. Two candidates applied; only one was hired. Two candidates applied, but only one was hired. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 24

Effective Sentences 3. Comma Splice Revisions: Avoid three common sentence faults. 3. Comma Splice Many were qualified, Jeff was hired. Revisions: Many were qualified. Jeff was hired. Many were qualified; Jeff was hired. Many were qualified; however, Jeff was hired. Many were qualified, but Jeff was hired. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 25

Avoiding Fragments, Run-ons, and Comma Splices Poor: Improved: You can create a Web-based job portfolio it will impress potential employers. You can create a Web-based job portfolio; it will impress potential employers. Submit your résumé online. When you apply for a job. Submit your résumé online when you apply for a job. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 26

Avoiding Fragments, Run-ons, and Comma Splices Poor: Improved: Although technical skills are important. Communication skills are also in great demand. Although technical skills are important, communication skills are also in great demand. College used to be for young people, however many older students now seek degrees. College used to be for young people; however, many older students now seek degrees. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 27

Avoiding Fragments, Run-ons, and Comma Splices Poor: Improved: Technology is changing the business world people are writing more messages than ever before. Technology is changing the business world. People are writing more messages than ever before. OR: Technology is changing the business world; people are . . . . Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 28

Avoiding Fragments, Run-ons, and Comma Splices Poor: Improved: Executives are busy, they won't read wordy messages and reports. Executives are busy. They won't read wordy messages and reports. OR: Executives are busy; they won't read.… Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 29

Improving Writing Techniques Achieve emphasis through mechanics. Underlining: Which of these methods do you prefer? Italics and Boldface: The use of boldface and italics captures the reader’s attention. All Caps: Notice how EXPENSE-FREE VACATION stands out. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 30

Improving Writing Techniques Achieve emphasis through mechanics. Dashes: Other methods–including dashes–may be used. Tabulation: Listing items vertically emphasizes them. 1. First item 2. Second item 3. Third item Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 31

Improving Writing Techniques Achieve emphasis through style. To emphasize an idea Use a vivid expression, such as in error-free document rather than good document. Label the idea with expressions such as more important, the principal reason, or the best alternative. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 32

Improving Writing Techniques Achieve emphasis through style. To emphasize an idea Put the important idea first or last in the sentence. Put the important idea in a simple sentence or in an independent clause. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 33

Improving Writing Techniques Achieve emphasis through style. To de-emphasize an idea Use general, rather than specific, words (some customers complained, rather than 125 customers complained). Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 34

Improving Writing Techniques Achieve emphasis through style. To de-emphasize an idea Place the idea in a dependent clause connected to an independent clause containing a positive idea. Although items cannot be returned for cash, you will receive store credit for any returns. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 35

Improving Writing Techniques Use active- and passive-voice verbs. Active-voice verbs show the subject performing the action. Most major employers require drug testing. (Active voice; the subject is acting) Dr. Smith recommended Tina for the job. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 36

Improving Writing Techniques Use active- and passive-voice verbs. In passive-voice sentences, the subject is being acted upon. Passive-voice verbs require helper verbs: Drug testing is required by most major employers. (Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon) Tina was recommended for the job by Dr. Smith. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 37

Improving Writing Techniques Use active- and passive-voice verbs. Use the active voice for most business writing. Use the passive voice to emphasize an action or the recipient of the action–rather than the actor (New laws were passed; texting while driving was targeted). Use the passive voice to break bad news (Although your lease cannot be renewed, we can offer . . . ). Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 38

Converting Verbs to Active Voice Add subjects as needed. Passive Voice: Active Voice: Our membership meeting was postponed by the president. The president postponed our membership meeting. The résumés of job candidates are kept on file for six months. Our company keeps the résumés of job candidates on file for six months. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 39

Converting Verbs to Active Voice Add subjects as needed. Passive Voice: Active Voice: All team messages are sent by e-mail. Team members send all messages by e-mail. Background checks are required of all new employees. The company requires background checks for all new employees. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 40

Converting Verbs to Active Voice Add subjects as needed. Passive Voice: Active Voice: We were given instructions by the manager. The manager gave us instructions. Live chat is used for customer service. Comcast uses live chat for customer service. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 41

Converting Verbs to Passive Voice Active Voice: Passive Voice: We must delay shipment of your merchandise because of heavy demand. Your merchandise shipment must be delayed because of heavy demand. Management rejected our plan. Our plan was rejected by management. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 42

Converting Verbs to Passive Voice Active Voice: Passive Voice: The technician could not install the wireless network. The wireless network could not be installed. Jared did not submit the accounting statement on time. The accounting statement was not submitted on time. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 43

Improving Writing Techniques Develop parallelism, balanced construction. Match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, phrases with phrases, and clauses with clauses. Poor Parallel Training sessions have been stimulat- ing and a challenge. Training sessions have been stimulat- ing and challenging. (Matches -ing verbals) Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 44

Improving Writing Techniques Develop parallelism. Poor Parallel We are very concerned with the quality of raw materials, where they are located, and how much it costs to transport them. We are very concerned with the quality, location, and transportation costs of raw materials. (Matches nouns) Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 45

Improving Writing Techniques Develop parallelism. Poor Parallel Serena takes the telephone orders, Matt locates the items in the ware- house, and the items are sent by Yolanda. Serena takes the telephone orders, Matt locates the items in the ware- house, and Yolanda sends the items. (Matches active-voice verbs) Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 46

Revising to Improve Parallelism Poor: Improved: Our knowledge management system focuses on the collecting, storage, and sharing of best practices. Our knowledge management system focuses on the collecting, storing, and sharing of best practices. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 47

Revising to Improve Parallelism Poor: Improved: The fall seminar is in September, January is scheduled for the winter seminar, and April is the month of the spring seminar. The fall seminar is in September, the winter seminar is in January, and the spring seminar is in April. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 48

Revising to Improve Parallelism Poor: Improved: We are pleased to recommend Elizabeth because she has sincerity, she is reliable, and she works with diligence. We are pleased to recommend Elizabeth because she is sincere, reliable, and diligent. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 49

Improving Writing Techniques Avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers. For clarity, modifiers must be close to the words they describe or limit. Be sure to place a logical subject immediately after an introductory verbal phrase. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 50

Improving Writing Techniques Avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers. Poor Improved After considering the problem carefully, new procedures were suggested by management. After considering the problem carefully, management suggested new procedures. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 51

Improving Writing Techniques Avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers. Poor Improved Any student has full online privileges who is enrolled in the college. Any student who is enrolled in the college has full online privileges. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 52

Improving Writing Techniques Avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers. Poor Improved It’s hard to under- stand why employees would not go to our technical support staff with Web access problems. It’s hard to under- stand why employees with Web access problems would not go to our technical support staff. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 53

Improving Writing Techniques Avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers. Poor Improved Using a search tool, the Web site was finally located. Using a search tool, we finally located the Web site. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 54

Avoiding Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Poor: Improved: To be hired, two years of experience is required. To be hired, applicants must have two years of experience. Dipped in butter, you can really enjoy a fine lobster. Dipped in butter, a fine lobster can truly be enjoyed. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 55

Avoiding Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Poor: Improved: By advertising extensively, all open jobs were filled quickly. By advertising extensively, we filled all open jobs quickly. After leaving the office, Jeff's car would not start. After leaving the office, Jeff could not start his car. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 56

Avoiding Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Poor: Improved: She died in the house in which she was born at the age of 88. At the age of 88, she died in the house in which she was born. Despite being paralyzed, doctors hoped that Mark would walk again. Despite Mark's paralysis, doctors hoped that he would walk again. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 57

Avoiding Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Revise the following: Explanation: To receive an employment form, fill out this application. (Tricky!) The sentence is correct as it stands. “You” is the understood subject of a command. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 58

Drafting Powerful Paragraphs A paragraph is a group of sentences about one idea. Paragraphs are most effective when they contain: A topic sentence Support sentences that expand and explain the main idea Techniques to build coherence Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 59

Drafting Powerful Paragraphs Achieve paragraph coherence. Guide your audience from one thought to another by using one of these devices: Repeat a key idea or key words. Next month we plan to launch a promotion for our new Facebook page. The promotion will involve several social media campaigns. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 60

Drafting Powerful Paragraphs Achieve paragraph coherence. Use a pronoun. LinkedIn is a popular site for business professionals. They see it as a place to network and establish career connections. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 61

Drafting Powerful Paragraphs Achieve paragraph coherence. Use an appropriate transitional expression. Time Association before, after first, second meanwhile next until when, whenever Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 62

Drafting Powerful Paragraphs Achieve paragraph coherence. Use an appropriate transitional expression. Contrast although but however instead nevertheless Cause–Effect consequently for this reason hence therefore Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 63

Drafting Powerful Paragraphs Achieve paragraph coherence. Use an appropriate transitional expression. Additional Idea furthermore in addition likewise moreover similarly Illustration in this way for example for instance Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 64

Drafting Powerful Paragraphs TIP: Paragraphs with eight or fewer printed lines look inviting and readable. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 65

Composing the First Draft Complete all necessary research. Find a quiet place to concentrate and work. Prohibit calls, visitors, and interruptions. Organize information into an outline. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 66

Composing the First Draft Decide whether to write quickly (freewriting) OR revise as you go. Imagine you are talking to a reader or listener. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 67

-- James A. Newman and Alexander Roy Climbing the Corporate Matterhorn “Whatever your program in college, be sure to include courses in writing and speaking. Managers must constantly write instructions, reports, memos, letters, and survey conclusions. If this comes hard to you, it will hold you back.” -- James A. Newman and Alexander Roy Climbing the Corporate Matterhorn Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 3, Slide 68

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