1. Composing Business Messages
CHAPTER 3
Composing Business Messages

3. Collecting Information
Search manually (books, magazines, journals).
Access electronically (Internet, databases, compact disks).
Go to the source (interviews, surveys, questionnaires, focus groups).
Conduct scientific experiments (measure variables using control groups).

4. Informal Research Look in your organization’s files.
Talk with your boss.
Interview the target audience.
Conduct an informal survey.
Brainstorm for ideas.

5. Organizing Information Into an Outline

6. Tips for Making Outlines
Define main topic in title.
Divide the topic into three to five main points.
Break the components into subpoints.
Make each component exclusive (no overlapping).
Don't put a single item under a major component.
Use details and evidence to support subpoints.

7. details and explanations
DIRECT STRATEGY
Organizing
Business
Messages
Main idea comes
first followed by
details and explanations

9. Organizing Business Messages
Explanation precedes
main idea
Organizing
Business
Messages
INDIRECT STRATEGY

11. Advantages Saves reader’s time Sets a proper frame of mind DIRECT
STRATEGY
Saves reader’s time
Sets a proper frame of mind
Prevents frustration
Appears businesslike
Advantages
INDIRECT
STRATEGY
Respects feelings of audience
Encourages a fair hearing
Minimizes a negative reaction

12. Useful when Receiver is receptive DIRECT
STRATEGY
Receiver is receptive
Receiver requires no education about topic
Message is routine
Useful when
INDIRECT
STRATEGY
Receiver may be upset or hostile
Receiver must be persuaded or educated
Message is sensitive

13. Effective Sentences Complete sentences have subjects
Phrases
Clauses
Complete sentences have subjects
and verbs and make sense
(are capable of standing alone).
subject verb
Employees send many messages.

14. Effective Sentences dependent clause independent clause
Complete
Sentences
Phrases
Clauses
Clauses also have subjects and verbs.
Independent clauses can stand alone.
Dependent clauses rely on independent clauses for their meaning.
dependent clause independent clause
When you speak, you reveal yourself.

15. Effective Sentences
Complete
Sentences
Phrases
Clauses
Phrases are groups of related words without subjects and verbs.
phrase phrase
In the afternoon, I work at the mall.

16. Even though the pay was low. Many candidates applied.
Avoid
sentence
fragments.
Fragment
Even though the pay was low. Many candidates applied.
Revision:
Even though the pay was low, many candidates applied.

17. Revisions: Avoid Avoid run- sentence on (fused) fragments. sentences.
Fused Sentences
Two candidates applied only one was hired.
Revisions:
Two candidates applied. Only one was hired.
Two candidates applied; only one was hired.
Two candidates applied, but only one was hired.

18. Revisions: Avoid Avoid run- comma- sentence on (fused) splice
fragments.
comma-
splice
sentences.
Avoid run-
on (fused)
Comma Splice
Many were qualified, Jeff was hired.
Revisions:
Many were qualified. Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified; Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified; however, Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified, but Jeff was hired.

19. Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices.
Quick Check
You can create a Web-based job portfolio it will impress potential employers.
You can create a Web-based job portfolio; it will impress potential employers.
Send a scannable résumé. When you apply for a job.
Send a scannable résumé when you apply for a job.

20. Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices.
Although technical skills are important. Communication skills are also in great demand.
Although technical skills are important, communication skills are also in great demand.
College used to be for young people, however many older students now seek degrees.
College used to be for young people; however, many older students now seek degrees.

21. Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices.
Technology is changing the business world people are writing more messages than ever before.
Technology is changing the business world. People are writing more messages than ever before. OR: Technology is changing the business world; people are

22. Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices.
Executives are busy, they won't read wordy messages and reports.
Executives are busy. They won't read wordy messages and reports. OR: Executives are busy; they won't read

23. Emphasis Through Mechanics
Underlining: Which of these methods do you prefer?
Italics and Boldface:
The use of boldface and italics captures the reader’s attention.
All Caps:
Notice how EXPENSE-FREE VACATION stands out.

24. Emphasis Through Mechanics
Dashes:
Other methods–including dashes–may be used.
Tabulation: Listing items vertically emphasizes them: 1. First item 2. Second item 3. Third item

25. White space
Color
Lines
Boxes
Columns
Titles
Headings
Subheadings 
Which of these other means of achieving mechanical emphasis is/are appropriate in business letters?
Discuss any differences with the
suggested answers provided.

26. White space
Color
Lines
Boxes
Columns
Titles
Headings
Subheadings 
Which of these other means of achieving mechanical emphasis is/are appropriate in memos?
Discuss any differences with the
suggested answers provided.

27. White space
Color
Lines
Boxes
Columns
Titles
Headings
Subheadings 
Which of these other means of achieving mechanical emphasis is/are appropriate in messages?
Discuss any differences with the
suggested answers provided.

28. White space
Color
Lines
Boxes
Columns
Titles
Headings
Subheadings 
Which of these other means of achieving mechanical emphasis is/are appropriate in reports?
Discuss any differences with the
suggested answers provided.

29. Emphasis and De-emphasis Through Style
To emphasize an idea
Use a vivid expression, such as in bug-free software rather than dependable software.
Label the idea with expressions such as more importantly, the principal reason, or the best alternative.
Put the important idea first or last in the sentence.
Put the important idea in a simple sentence or in an independent clause.

30. Emphasis and De-emphasis Through Style
To de-emphasize an idea
Use general, rather than specific, words (some customers complained, rather than 125 customers complained).
Place the idea in a dependent clause connected to an independent clause containing a positive idea.
Although items cannot be returned for cash, you will receive store credit for any returned purchases.

31. Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs
Active-voice verbs show the subject performing the action.
Most major employers require drug testing.
(Active voice; the subject is acting)
Dr. Smith recommended Tina for the job.

32. Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs
In passive-voice sentences, the subject is being acted upon. Passive-voice verbs require helper verbs:
Drug testing is required by most major employers.
(Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon)
Tina was recommended for the job by Dr. Smith.

33. Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs
Use the active voice for most business writing.
Use the passive voice to emphasize an action or the recipient of the action–rather than the actor (New laws were passed; drunk drivers were targeted).
Use the passive voice to break bad news (Although your lease cannot be renewed, we can offer ).

34. Convert the following sentences to active voice
Convert the following sentences to active voice. You may have to add a subject.
Our membership meeting was postponed by the president.
The president postponed our membership meeting.
Quick Check
The résumés of job candidates are sorted quickly by the software program Resumix.
The software program Resumix sorts résumés of job candidates quickly.

35. Convert the following sentences to active voice
Convert the following sentences to active voice. You may have to add a subject.
All team messages are sent by .
Team members send all messages by .
Drug tests are required of all new employees.
The company requires drug tests for all new employees.

36. Convert the following sentences to active voice
Convert the following sentences to active voice. You may have to add a subject.
We were given our orders by the manager.
The manager gave us our orders.
Our intranet is used by employees to complete forms.
Employees use our intranet to complete forms.

37. Convert the following sentences to passive voice.
We must delay shipment of your merchandise because of heavy demand.
Your merchandise shipment must be delayed because of heavy demand.
Management rejected our plan.
Our plan was rejected by management.

38. Convert the following sentences to passive voice.
The technician could not install the computer program.
The computer program could not be installed.
Someone did not submit the accounting statement on time.
The accounting statement was not submitted on time.

39. Developing Parallelism
Parallel expression uses balanced construction. Match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, phrases with phrases, and clauses with clauses.
Poor
Parallel
Training sessions
have been stimulat-
ing and a challenge.
Training sessions
have been stimulat-
ing and challenging.
(Matches -ing verbals)

40. Developing Parallelism
Poor
Parallel
We are very
concerned with the
quality of raw
materials, where
they are located, and
how much it costs to
transport them.
We are very
concerned with the
quality, location, and
transportation costs
of raw materials.
(Matches nouns)

41. Developing Parallelism
Poor
Parallel
Serena takes the
telephone orders,
Matt locates the
items in the ware-
house, and the
items are sent by
Yolanda.
Serena takes the
telephone orders,
Matt locates the
items in the ware-
house, and Yolanda
sends the items.
(Matches active-voice verbs)

42. How could parallelism be improved in the following sentence?
Quick Check
Our knowledge management system focuses on the collecting, storage, and sharing of best practices.
Our knowledge management system focuses on the collecting, storing, and sharing of best practices.

43. How could parallelism be improved in the following sentence?
The fall seminar is in October, December is scheduled for the winter seminar, and May is the month of the spring seminar.
The fall seminar is in October, the winter seminar is in December, and the spring seminar is in May.

44. How could parallelism be improved in the following sentence?
We are pleased to recommend Elizabeth because she has sincerity, she is reliable, and she works with diligence.
We are pleased to recommend Elizabeth because she is sincere, reliable, and diligent.

45. Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
For clarity, modifiers must be close to the words they describe or limit. Be particularly careful to place a logical subject immediately after an introductory verbal phrase.

46. Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
Poor
Revised
After considering
the problem
carefully, new
procedures were
suggested by
management.
After considering
the problem
carefully,
management
suggested new
procedures.

47. Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
Poor
Revised
Any student has full
online privileges who
is enrolled in the
college.
Any student who is
enrolled in the
college has full
online privileges.

48. Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
Poor
Revised
It’s hard to under-
stand why employees
would not go to our
technical support
staff with software
problems.
It’s hard to under-
stand why employees
with software
problems would not
go to our technical
support staff.

49. Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
Poor
Revised
Using a search
engine, the Web
site was finally
located.
Using a search
engine, we finally
located the Web site.

50. Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers
Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. Retain the introductory phrases.
To be hired, two years of experience is required.
To be hired, one must have two years of experience.
Quick Check
Dipped in butter, you can really enjoy a fine lobster.
Dipped in butter, a fine lobster can truly be enjoyed.

51. Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers
Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. Retain the introductory phrases.
By advertising extensively, all open jobs were filled quickly.
By advertising extensively, we filled all open jobs quickly.
After leaving the office, Jeff's car would not start.
After leaving the office, Jeff could not start his car.

52. Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers
Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. Retain the introductory phrases.
She died in the house in which she was born at the age of 88.
At the age of 88, she died in the house in which she was born.
Despite being paralyzed, doctors hoped that Mark would walk again.
Despite Mark's paralysis, doctors hoped that he would walk again.

53. To receive an employment form, fill out this application.
Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers.
To receive an employment form, fill out this application.
(Tricky!)
The sentence is correct as it stands. “You” is the understood subject of a command.

54. Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence
To help guide your reader or listener from one thought to another, develop coherence by using one of these devices:
Repeat a key idea or key words.
Next month we plan to launch a promotion for our new Web site. The promotion will involve newspaper and TV campaigns.

55. Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence
Use a pronoun.
Considerable interest is being shown in our extended certificates of deposit. They are more profitable when left on deposit for long periods.

56. Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence
Use an appropriate transitional expression.
Time Association
before, after
first, second
meanwhile
next
until
when, whenever

57. Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence
Contrast although but however instead nevertheless on the other hand
Cause–Effect consequently for this reason hence therefore

58. Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence
Additional Idea furthermore in addition likewise moreover similarly
Illustration in this way for example
TIP: Paragraphs
with eight or fewer
printed lines look
inviting and readable.

59. Composing the First Draft
Complete all necessary research.
Find a quiet place to concentrate and work.
Prohibit calls, visitors, and interruptions.
Organize information into an outline.
Decide whether to write quickly (freewriting) OR revise as you go.
Imagine you are talking to a reader or listener.

60. END