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Developing a Treatment Framework for Internet Infidelity Cases Katherine M. Hertlein, Ph.D. University of Nevada, Las Vegas Department of Marriage and Family Therapy Timothy S. Nelson, Ph.D. Friends University Master of Science in Family Therapy Program

Almost everybody is on the Web!

Learning Objectives WHAT? What Is Internet Infidelity & What Do We Know About It? (Learning Objectives 1 & 2) SO WHAT? What Should/Do Therapists Know About Internet Infidelity Treatment? (Learning Objective 3) NOW WHAT? What Will Your Treatment Framework For Internet Infidelity Cases Look Like? (Learning Objective 4)

What Is Internet Infidelity? What Do We Know About It?

Querulous Questions 1. How do Internet relationships compare to face-to-face relationships? 2. How do Internet infidelity cases compare to face-to-face infidelity cases?

Face-to-Face vs. Internet Relationships Similarities Similarities Self-presentation Self-presentation Emotional intimacy Emotional intimacy Shared time/interests Shared time/interests Shared data Shared data Shared non-verbals Shared non-verbals Development of rituals Development of rituals “Everydayness” occurs “Everydayness” occurs Differences Differences Self-presentation edited Manner in which data is shared (i.e., CMC vs FTF) Non-verbals through emoticons (, ,:*) Internet is the medium to conduct the ritual “Everydayness” is structured (i.e., choice)

Face-To-Face vs. Internet Affairs Similarities Similarities Pain; betrayal Pain; betrayal Secrecy Secrecy Emotional intimacy Emotional intimacy Sexual chemistry (in some cases) Sexual chemistry (in some cases) Broken trust self/partner Broken trust self/partner Affair can be used to create a better union Affair can be used to create a better union An environment where spouses can share is needed An environment where spouses can share is needed Boundaries Boundaries Differences - 4 “A’s” Differences - 4 “A’s” Anonymity – I can present whoever I want to be; privacy Accessibility – Easy, convenient, and everywhere Affordability – Cheap to stay connected Approximation – Estimate a real-world context, fantasy, etc.

What Should/Do Therapists Know About Internet Infidelity Treatment?

Tim’s Method  20 experts in extramarital affairs and sex addiction reviewed the 3 vignettes & were asked:  To list the critical issues in each case  What intervention strategies they would use  How their responses might be different if the genders were changed in each vignette Experts then rated each other’s answers Experts then rated each other’s answers

Let’s Log On: Part I View the video clip View the video clip Discuss with a pal/palette: Discuss with a pal/palette: Why does this couple have these issues in their marriage (i.e., what are the critical issues in this case)? Why does this couple have these issues in their marriage (i.e., what are the critical issues in this case)?

Findings-1. Experts Reported Little Consensus Not one expert mentioned the Internet as a critical issue Not one expert mentioned the Internet as a critical issue Little agreement across specific critical issues, intervention strategies, and gender differences Little agreement across specific critical issues, intervention strategies, and gender differences Differential treatment is occurring in Internet infidelity cases Differential treatment is occurring in Internet infidelity cases Differential treatment = different values? Differential treatment = different values?

Findings-2. Your Stance on Key Issues Affects What You’ll Do Next Should I hold a secret that one spouse tells me?Should I hold a secret that one spouse tells me? Should I meet with one or both partners?Should I meet with one or both partners? What amount & type of information is helpful for the non-involved spouse to know?What amount & type of information is helpful for the non-involved spouse to know? Should I encourage the non-involved spouse to monitor their partner’s activities after the infidelity is discovered or disclosed?Should I encourage the non-involved spouse to monitor their partner’s activities after the infidelity is discovered or disclosed? Should I handle an Internet infidelity case differently than I would a face-to-face affair (i.e., are different theoretical approaches more effective)?Should I handle an Internet infidelity case differently than I would a face-to-face affair (i.e., are different theoretical approaches more effective)?

Let’s Log On: Part II Using the video, choose any continua and discuss with a pal/palette how your placement affects what you do next? Using the video, choose any continua and discuss with a pal/palette how your placement affects what you do next? For example, how does your placement on the “secrecy” continuum affect what you will do? For example, how does your placement on the “secrecy” continuum affect what you will do?

Kat’s Method Phase I Phase I 504 clinical members of AAMFT 504 clinical members of AAMFT Participants visited one of two websites (gender) Participants visited one of two websites (gender) 3 vignettes depicted Internet infidelity scenarios 3 vignettes depicted Internet infidelity scenarios Eleven assessment and treatment items followed each vignette Eleven assessment and treatment items followed each vignette Phase II Phase II Follow up interviews conducted with a select group of volunteers from Phase I Follow up interviews conducted with a select group of volunteers from Phase I Interview solicited more detailed treatment strategies Interview solicited more detailed treatment strategies

Let’s Log On: Part III Using the video, discuss with a pal/palette… Using the video, discuss with a pal/palette… Group 1: What client background characteristics (i.e., age of the client, etc) affect what you do next? Group 1: What client background characteristics (i.e., age of the client, etc) affect what you do next? Group 2: What therapist background characteristics (i.e., marital status) affect what you do next? Group 2: What therapist background characteristics (i.e., marital status) affect what you do next?

Findings-3. Personal Variables Affect What You Do Next Client’s background characteristics Client’s background characteristics Men = higher degree of sex addiction Men = higher degree of sex addiction Greater individual focus on male clients Greater individual focus on male clients Therapist’s background characteristics Therapist’s background characteristics Younger therapists focus treatment on environment Younger therapists focus treatment on environment Female therapists connect problem to larger issues in the couple relationship Female therapists connect problem to larger issues in the couple relationship More religious therapists put greater focus on environment and individual issues More religious therapists put greater focus on environment and individual issues The more negative your infidelity experience with your partner, the greater focus on relational issues The more negative your infidelity experience with your partner, the greater focus on relational issues

Let’s Log On: Part IV Using the video, discuss with a pal/palette… Using the video, discuss with a pal/palette… What are your treatment strategies for this specific case? What are your treatment strategies for this specific case?

Findings-4: First Order Strategies Prescribed for Second Order Problems Therapists commonly use first order change strategies to manage the 4 A’s Therapists commonly use first order change strategies to manage the 4 A’s 4 A’s are not critical factors in treatment decisions 4 A’s are not critical factors in treatment decisions Therapists create second order case conceptualizations Therapists create second order case conceptualizations Therapists make first order change strategies Therapists make first order change strategies

Syntax Error! This is problematic because: This is problematic because: Second Order conceptualizations do not match with First Order treatment strategies Second Order conceptualizations do not match with First Order treatment strategies Use the 4 A’s for case conceptualization Use the 4 A’s for case conceptualization Use other elements for treatment Use other elements for treatment

What Will Your Treatment Framework For Internet Infidelity Cases Look Like?

Developing Your Own Framework Why does this couple have this problem? Evaluate how the 4 A’s affect what you’ll do Revised: why does this couple have this problem? Develop a treatment With 1 st and 2 nd order elements Intervene Evaluate how background variables affect what you’ll do Evaluate your stance on how the divisive issues affect what you’ll do

Building Your Hard Drive Components: Components: Identify your CPU Identify your CPU Identify how your installed software affects how your CPU runs Identify how your installed software affects how your CPU runs Intervene from a second order perspective Intervene from a second order perspective Running the Program (How will you use the software?) Running the Program (How will you use the software?) Output (How will your clients benefit from the program?) Output (How will your clients benefit from the program?)

Let’s Log On: LAST TIME View the video clip View the video clip Discuss with a pal/palette: Discuss with a pal/palette: Why you think this couple had this problem Why you think this couple had this problem How might your placement on the divisive issues affect what you do? How might your placement on the divisive issues affect what you do? How might social background characteristics affect what you do? How might social background characteristics affect what you do? How might the 4 A’s affect what you do? How might the 4 A’s affect what you do? Given the things above, what will your treatment framework look like? Given the things above, what will your treatment framework look like?

Our Last “Byte”… No one “right way” No one “right way” Very important variables can affect your treatment Very important variables can affect your treatment Know where you stand on divisive issues/continua Know where you stand on divisive issues/continua Know where you stand on how your personal variables might affect your treatment Know where you stand on how your personal variables might affect your treatment Attend to both the CLIENT and THERAPIST systems Attend to both the CLIENT and THERAPIST systems

Questions? Comments?