Survive Going Home for Breaks: Negotiating Changes in Family Roles Brought to you by Counseling Services

Expectations What will break at home be like? Don’t be surprised if your time back at home is a challenge You may only be remembering the good things about being home and not the stressors

Expectations – What break means… For Students Sleeping Relaxing Catching up with old high school friends For Parents Having their child home in body and spirit To help out around the house To participate in family activities

You Have Changed In your… Appearance, Values, Lifestyle Although you may feel the same you may look and act quite different Let family know about any drastic changes before they see you Emphasize this is a time to try new things, and you’re trying a new look Consider toning it down when you go home

You Have Changed In your… Level of independence Parents may expect you too need them like you did before you left Difficult for them to accept you as an independent person who can “hold your own” Even though they want you to be independent, it’s a shock Give them some time to adjust

Your Parents Have Changed Their daily routine has been altered in your absence You coming home will affect this routine They will want to spend time with you and you may want to spend time with old high school friends talk to them about this and compromise

You’ve Changed and They’ve Changed So…consequently your relationship will change Don’t be blind-sided by change People/culture is different at home than at a college with people your own age Make the most of breaks Don’t let the little things ruin your visit

Make the Transition Easier… TALK with your parents You and your parents are becoming peers Many problems can be avoided simply by conversation Include your parents in your new life – they are interested and this will make it less scary for them!

Talk to your parents about… Your new school Your new friends Finances (even if you are in debt) They may be mad at first but will probably help in some way Your grades Your major Your goals House rules Respect their house Negotiate rules

Other Changes… Divorce If your parents divorced while you were away at school, going home will mean negotiating time spent with each parent Think realistically what will be best for you and let each parent know Sometimes there is nothing you can do and you just have to accept what is

Help With The Transition The Counseling Office on campus provides free and confidential counseling. Call us at extension 8251 to schedule an appointment. We are located at #17 Oldfield Rd. (near Memorial parking lot)