1 Chapter 8 Conversations Conversations Inter-Act, 13 th Edition Inter-Act, 13 th Edition

Chapter Objectives 2 Discuss the characteristics of conversation Describe the ways in which conversations may vary Identify the general guidelines to become a more effective conversationalist Summarize how culture and technology affect conversation

Characteristics of Conversations Interactive Extemporaneous Locally managed Sequentially organized 3

Variation in Conversation 4 29 different distinct types of conversation common in friendships and romantic relationships Small talk: Small talk: exchanging messages about inconsequential (small) topics to meet social needs of participants with low risk Gossip: Gossip: exchanging messages about other people who are not present

Structure of Conversation 5 Purpose: Purpose: what the conversation is intended to do Sequence: Sequence:  Turn-Taking:  Turn-Taking: alternating between speaking and listening  Scriptedness :  Scriptedness : using routine conversational phrases or preplanned conversations Tone Tone : emotional, relational quality and degree of formality Participants: Participants: intended or unintended audience Setting: Setting: physical and emotional environment

Guidelines 6 Develop an other-centered focus. Engage in appropriate turn-taking. Maintain conversational coherence. Practice politeness and face-saving. Protect privacy. Engage in ethical dialogue.

Ethical Dialogue 7 Authenticity: Authenticity: direct, honest, straightforward information and feelings Empathy: Empathy: understanding another’s point of view Confirmation: Confirmation: affirming others as unique individuals (not necessarily approving of views) Presentness: Presentness: taking time, avoiding distraction, being responsive, risking attachment Equality: Equality: treating others as peers, regardless of status Supportiveness: Supportiveness: encouraging participation by praising efforts

Starting a Conversation 8 Five ways to open a conversation: Make a comment Ask a question Introduce yourself Pay attention to nonverbal cues

Sustaining a Conversation 9 Use free information: Use free information: information volunteered during the conversation Askquestions Ask questions  Closed-ended: “yes” or “no” answers  Open-ended: more elaboration, explanation Seek out topics of interest to the other person Seek out topics of interest to the other person Self-disclose appropriately Self-disclose appropriately Actively listen Actively listen

Closing a Conversation 10 Notice and use leave-taking cues (nonverbal behaviors that indicate someone wants to end the conversation). Verbalize your desire to end the conversation. Ask to see the person again if appropriate. Close with a brief stock message.

Cultural Variations 11 Low-Context Cultures  Include categorical words such as certainly, absolutely  Relevant comments that are directly to the point  Speaking one’s mind  Silence is uncomfortable High-Context Cultures  Include qualifiers such as maybe, perhaps  Indirect, ambiguous, and less relevant comments  Creating harmony  Silence indicates truthfulness, embarrassment, disagreement

Digital Conversation Skills 12 Awareness of audience Degree of conversational spontaneity Abruptness of disengagement Multiplicity of conversations Acceptance of interruptions Notions of privacy

Homework 13 Actively choose a conversation partner that you’ve never met or with whom you have had little contact. Practice the communication skills you’ve targeted as your goals, but use the guidelines for holding effective conversations from Ch 8 as well. Write a one-page paper critically thinking about your experience. For example, were you able to hold an effective conversation? Were you able to practice the goals you’ve set for yourself to become a more effective communicator? Why or why not? What factors influenced your communication? What areas would you like to work on more? Follow your rubric, give examples, and discuss applicable areas from your text.