1. Interpersonal
Conversations

2. Conversations
A locally managed sequential interchange of thoughts and feelings between two or more people. Interactive and extemporaneous.
Microsoft Photo

3. Conversations (cont’d)
Locally managed: only those involved in the conversation determine the topic.
Sequentially organized: have openings, middles, and closes.
Interactive: Involve at least two people.
Largely extemporaneous: Participants have not prepared or memorized what they will be saying.

4. Let’s Have A
Party!

5. Pragmatic Problem- Consideration Conversations
Casual
Social
Conversations
Pragmatic Problem- Consideration Conversations
Spontaneous interactions between people, with no planned agenda
Conversational episodes in which at least one participant has a communication goal

6. Pragmatic Problem-Consideration Conversations
Skipping
a stage
may
provide
less
satisfaction
Greeting and small talk
Topic introduction and statement of need for discussion
Information exchange and processing
Summarizing decisions and clarifying next steps
Formal closing

7. Characteristics of Conversations
Formality – degree to which the conversation must follow rules, procedures or rituals.
Turn-Taking – alternating between speaker & listener.
Speaker can decide who’s next
Nonverbally signaling our desire to go next
We can self-select to go next by talking next
We can interrupt
Topic Change – method by which people introduce new topics
Talk Time – fair sharing of speaking time
Scriptedness – common conversations that happen so often they are routine, as if to follow a script (co-narration).
Conversational Audience – who’s conversing & eavesdropping.

8. Rules
A prescription that indicates what behaviors are required, preferred, or prohibited in certain contexts

9. Conversational Ballgames by: Nancy Masterson Sakamoto
Read “Diverse Voices”
Pages 165-6

10. Cultural Connotations
Individual
Low uncertainty
Avoidance (Tolerant)
Low-context
United States
Masculine (rigid sex defined)
Low power-distance (downplay social distances) 10

11. Cultural Variations United States Low Context Cultures
Participatory – everyone joins in
Include categorical words such as certainly, absolutely
Relevant comments that are directly to the point
Speaking one’s mind
Silence is seldom good
Japan
High Context Cultures
Ritualized, formal & stuctured
Include qualifiers such as maybe, perhaps
Indirect, ambiguous and less relevant comments
Creating harmony
Silence indicates truthfulness, embarrassment, disagreement 11

12. Examples of Communication Rules
If your mouth is full of food, then you must not talk.
If someone is talking, then you must not interrupt.
If you can’t say something nice, then you don’t say anything at all.

13. More Communication Rules
If you are spoken to, you must reply.
If more than 2 people are conversing, then each should have equal time.
If your conversational partner is significantly older than you, then you should refrain from using profanities & obscenities. 13

14. Even More Communication Rules
If you are going to say something that you don’t want overheard, then drop the volume of your voice.
If you are being spoken to, you should direct your gaze to the speaker.
Or, from a different cultural perspective, if you are being spoken to, you should look at the floor.
And, if another does not hear a question you asked, then you must repeat it. 14

15. Discuss what communication rules you think are important.

16. Cooperative Principle
Conversations will be satisfying when the contributions made by conversationalists are in line with the purpose of the conversation.
We don’t like people who go off subject. . .

17. Conversation Maxims Quality Quantity Relevancy Manner Morality
Truthful information
Quantity
Not too much or too little
Relevancy
Related to the topic
Manner
Specific, organized, and understandable
Morality
Meet moral/ethical guidelines
Politeness Be
courteous

18. The Effective Conversationalist
Presents quality information.
Provides free information to enable others to talk.
Ask questions that are likely to motivate responses.
Credits sources.
Practices turn-taking.
Maintains conversational coherence.
Practices politeness.

19. Politeness
Politeness -- relating to others in ways that meet their need to be appreciated.
Positive face needs– desire to be appreciated and approved, liked and honored.

20. Positive Facework
Messages affirming a person or person’s actions in the face of a difficult situation.
Used to protect another’s need to save face, ie. need to be respected, liked, or valued.

21. Positive Facework To perform:
Convey positive feelings about what the other has said or done in the situation.
Express admiration for other’s efforts
Acknowledge how difficult situation is
Express belief other’s efforts will endure or succeed.

22. Politeness
Politeness -- relating to others in ways that meet their need to be appreciated.
Positive face needs– desire to be appreciated and approved, liked and honored.
Negative face needs – desire to be free from imposition, intrusion, or upstaging. Done in an unassuming - deferential manner.

23. Negative Facework
Using verbally indirect methods when offering information, opinions or advice.
Used to protect another’s negative face needs, ie. need for independence, autonomy and authority.

24. Negative Facework To perform: Ask permission before making suggestions
Verbally defer to opinions/preferences of the other person
Use tentative language to hedge & qualify your position
Offer suggestions indirectly by telling stories or describing hypothetical options.

25. Politeness
Politeness -- relating to others in ways that meet their need to be appreciated.
Positive face needs– desire to be appreciated and approved, liked and honored.
Negative face needs – desire to be free from imposition or intrusion.
Face-threatening acts (FTAs) – behavior that fails to meet positive or negative face needs

26. Engage in Ethical Dialogue
Be:
Authenticity - direct, honest, straightforward information and feelings
Empathy – understanding another’s point of view (without giving up yours)
Confirmation – affirming others as unique individuals (does not imply approving of their behaviors)

27. Engage in Ethical Dialogue (continued)
Be:
Present – taking time, avoiding distraction, being responsive, risking attachment
Equality – treating conversational partners on the same level regardless of status differences
Supportive climate – encourage participation by praising efforts

28. Activity Work Groups Marisa, Danielle, Samantha, & Chris
Niki, Karina, Eric, Charity, & Erika
Briana, Cassidy, Josh Caryn & Kami
Jen, Michelyn, Elena, & Nate
If there are absences, smaller groups will be redistributed by instructor. 28

29. Effective Communicator’s “Bag of Tricks”
Is equipped with information on a wide range to topics.
Is willing to offer “extra” information when questions are asked
Asks questions.
Balances speaking and listening.
Uses conversational directors like “Don’t you agree?” or “What do you think?” which draw the other person into the conversation.
Keeps interruptions at a minimum.
Makes sure that comments relate to previous comments by others.
Is polite.
Is ethical, authentic, empathetic, supportive, conforming, an active listener, and treats others as equals.