Examples of life goals: 1.Live on my own or with a family of my own. If I have this, I can use my non-working time how I see fit. FREE TIME! 2.Keep a job I am happy with. If I can keep a job, I can buy the things I want to have in life, including the ability to live on my own. 3.Have meaningful relationships. If I have friends or a partner in life, my life will be more fulfilling. If I am able to get along with my co-workers and supervisors, I will be able to keep my job. Life Outlook Diagram

How I interact with others socially will determine whether or not I will have success in meeting these life goals. Let’s look at the different ways we can interact with people and how they may impact our life goals.

Life Choices A I try to be pleasant to people most of the time. Even if I am not really interested in what other people are interested in, I make an effort to ask others how THEY feel about things or talk about what THEY are interested in. I avoid making hurtful comments about other people or their ideas. I give other people compliments. I always try to use respectful language with people of authority (adults, boss, teacher). I try to take responsibility for my actions and apologize or repair relationships when I do make a mistake.

Life Choices B I am pleasant to people some of the time. I keep to myself most of the time because I don’t find that other people have similar interests. I don’t say hurtful comments unless I feel someone has it coming. I give compliments to others once in awhile, but only if I think they truly deserve one. I only use respectful language with adults because I have to. Sometimes I just need to give them a piece of my mind. I am almost always right, and so I shouldn’t have to apologize.

Life Choices C It’s not cool to be nice to others. That’s just for nerds and adults. I almost always keep to myself because I don’t find that other people have similar interests and I am not interested in what other people like. I almost always tell people exactly what I’m thinking, even if they think it’s rude. I rarely give people compliments. They are pointless. I don’t think I need to monitor my language for anyone - even adults. If they don’t like it… that’s just too bad. I am always right and so there’s no need to apologize.

Which typically describes you?

How might your answer impact your life goals? 1) Living on my own (free time) 2) Keep a job I am happy with. 3) Have healthy relationships. FAMILY FRIENDSHIPSCO-WORKERS/BOSSES

Which typically describes you? I almost always keep to myself because I don’t find that other people have similar interests and I am not interested in what other people like. I keep to myself most of the time because I don’t find that other people have similar interests. Even if I am not really interested in what other people are interested in, I make an effort to ask others how THEY feel about things or talk about what THEY are interested in.

How might your answer impact your life goals? 1) Living on my own (free time) 2) Keep a job I am happy with. 3) Have healthy relationships. FAMILY FRIENDSHIPSCO-WORKERS/BOSSES I almost always keep to myself because I don’t find that other people have similar interests and I am not interested in what other people like. I keep to myself most of the time because I don’t find that other people have similar interests. Even if I am not really interested in what other people are interested in, I make an effort to ask others how THEY feel about things or talk about what THEY are interested in.

Which typically describes you? I almost always tell people exactly what I’m thinking, even if they think it’s rude. I don’t say hurtful comments unless I feel someone has it coming. I avoid making hurtful comments about other people or their ideas.

How might your answer impact your life goals? 1) Living on my own (free time) 2) Keep a job I am happy with. 3) Have healthy relationships. FAMILY FRIENDSHIPSCO-WORKERS/BOSSES I almost always tell people exactly what I’m thinking, even if they think it’s rude. I don’t say hurtful comments unless I feel someone has it coming. I avoid making hurtful comments about other people or their ideas.

Which typically describes you? I rarely give people compliments. They are pointless. I give compliments to others once in awhile, but only if I think they truly deserve one. I try to make a habit of giving other people compliments.

How might your answer impact your life goals? 1) Living on my own (free time) 2) Keep a job I am happy with. 3) Have healthy relationships. FAMILY FRIENDSHIPSCO-WORKERS/BOSSES I rarely give people compliments. They are pointless. I give compliments to others once in awhile, but only if I think they truly deserve one. I try to make a habit of giving other people compliments.

Which typically describes you? I don’t think I need to monitor my language for anyone - even adults. If they don’t like it… that’s just too bad. I only use respectful language with adults because I have to. Sometimes I just need to give them a piece of my mind. I always try to use respectful language with people of authority (adults, boss, teacher).

How might your answer impact your life goals? 1) Living on my own (free time) 2) Keep a job I am happy with. 3) Have healthy relationships. FAMILY FRIENDSHIPSCO-WORKERS/BOSSES I don’t think I need to monitor my language for anyone - even adults. If they don’t like it… that’s just too bad. I only use respectful language with adults because I have to. Sometimes I just need to give them a piece of my mind. I always try to use respectful language with people of authority (adults, boss, teacher).

Which typically describes you? I am always right and so there’s no need to apologize. Besides, my anger is usually someone else’s fault. I am almost always right, and so I shouldn’t have to apologize. I try to take responsibility for my actions and apologize or repair relationships when I do make a mistake.

How might your answer impact your life goals? 1) Living on my own (free time) 2) Keep a job I am happy with. 3) Have healthy relationships. FAMILY FRIENDSHIPSCO-WORKERS/BOSSES I am always right and so there’s no need to apologize. Besides, my anger is usually someone else’s fault. I am almost always right, and so I shouldn’t have to apologize. I try to take responsibility for my actions and apologize or repair relationships when I do make a mistake.

So… if we make Life Choices that tend to lay on the negative ( ) end of the spectrum, and we understand that they DO have an impact on our goals in life – what are the alternatives to reaching our goals? Examples of life goals: 1.Live on my own or with a family of my own. If I have this, I can use my non-working time how I see fit. FREE TIME! 2.Keep a job I am happy with. If I can keep a job, I can buy the things I want to have in life, including the ability to live on my own. 3.Have meaningful relationships. If I have friends or a partner in life, my life will be more fulfilling. If I am able to get along with my co-workers and supervisors, I will be able to keep my job.

If I don’t have the skills necessary to live on my own or with a family of my own… then someone else will have to take care of me! If someone else has to take care of me, they will also have a responsibility to make important decisions for me (like where I will live, what I can eat, where I can go, the things I can buy, and what I can do). If someone else is making important decisions for me, I may not like the choices that are being made for me because they will affect my own… FREE TIME! Others taking care of me = limited free time and very limited ability to make important life choices.

If I don’t have the skills necessary to keep a job that I am happy with… then someone else will have to take care of me OR I will have to take a job that isn’t fulfilling to me or pays poorly. We already know what happens if someone else has to take care of us. If I have to take a job that isn’t fulfilling, I won’t be as happy as I could be. If I have to take a poorly paying job, I will have less ability to make the choices I want in life and also have less... FREE TIME! Unfulfilling job = limited free time and limited ability to make life choices.

If I don’t have the skills necessary to maintain meaningful relationships… then I will have great difficulty having a healthy relationship with a partner and raising a healthy family. I will have difficulty maintaining friendships and may miss out on valuable life experiences associated with having friends. I will find it very difficult to keep a job if I can’t get along with co-workers or supervisors. I will not have many people who are willing to help me out in life, and most of life’s burdens will placed solely on my shoulders. Because I have “burned my bridges” with friendships and personal relationships, I will have to work a lot harder to get everything done by myself and so I will have a lot less... FREE TIME! Poor relationships OR no relationships = limited free time and limited ability to make life choices.

Now think back to where you placed yourself along the spectrum when making Life Choices.

The important thing to remember about Life Choices is that the ones that you make HABIT are the ones that tend to have the greatest impact on your Life Goals. The way to make good Life Choices become HABIT is to make an active effort to apply them (not just once in awhile). I try to be pleasant to people most of the time. Even if I am not really interested in what other people are interested in, I make an effort to ask others how THEY feel about things or talk about what THEY are interested in. I avoid making hurtful comments about other people or their ideas. I give other people compliments. I always try to use respectful language with people of authority (adults, boss, teacher). I try to take responsibility for my actions and apologize or repair relationships when I do make a mistake.

Make a plan to make these HABIT! I will try to be pleasant to people most of the time = 1) using a calm and cheerful voice; 2) communicating kindly with others (no yelling, tantrums, anger, or ignoring). Even if I am not really interested in what other people are interested in, I will make an effort to ask others how THEY feel about things or talk about what THEY are interested in = 1) thinking of others first; 2) faking it even when I am not interested in what others think or feel. I will avoid making hurtful comments about other people or their ideas = 1) thinking before speaking or acting (will this likely offend someone?); 2) use “I” statements to advocate for how you feel rather than blaming others. I will try to give other people compliments more often = 1) saying something truly nice about someone with the goal of making that person feel better about themselves; 2) try to give at least 3 compliments per day. I will use respectful language with people of authority (adults, boss, teacher) = 1) keeping my words, facial expression, body language, and voice tone respectful and calm – even when I am upset; 2) faking it even when I am not in the mood. I will take responsibility for my actions and apologize or repair relationships when I do make a mistake = 1) admitting when I am wrong; 2) learning from my mistakes by not repeating them; 3) making an effort to amend any offense I have made.