WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE? SESSION FOUR WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

perpetrated mainly (but not only) by men against Defining Domestic and Family Violence Domestic And Family Violence is an abuse of power perpetrated mainly (but not only) by men against women in a relationship or after separation. It occurs when one partner attempts to physically and/or psychologically dominate and control the other. 26

What is Domestic Violence? Physical abuse: Kicking, slapping, hitting, punching, pushing, pulling, choking and property damage.  Emotional abuse: Jealously, anger, intimidation, controlling, neglect, humiliation,threats, isolation and verbal abuse.  Social Abuse: Being stopped from meeting or seeing friends or family, not allowed to leave the home. Being stalked. Sexual abuse: Forcing and coercing sexual acts, rape and having sex without wanting to.   Economic Abuse: Controlling access to money and other resources, forced to live without money. 27

Myths & Facts Myth Fact Domestic and Family violence only occurs in working or poorer families Domestic and family violence happens in all communities, from all social and cultural groupings. Violent men cannot control themselves, their behaviour is “out of their control” This is not true. If men cannot control their violent behaviours then they would try to dominate and control everybody including their bosses, their work friends and all other people they come into contact with. Women enjoy being abused, otherwise they would leave the situation There are many reasons why women do not leave violent situations. They fear social isolation, community stigma and financial problems. Also after long-term abuse, their self esteem is very low and they do not have the support systems to build their confidence. 28

Myths & Facts Myth Fact 29 Loving caring partners do not use violence Violence can happen even in the most loving and caring relationships. Only small numbers of women have experienced domestic & family violence International and Australian studies undertaken in hospitals, by the police , by some churches and by community services all suggest that one in three to five women will experience domestic & family violence. Alcohol and stress are to blame for domestic violence. Alcohol and stress are not an excuse for domestic violence, it only acts as a excuse. It is up to the person who commits domestic violence to accept responsibility. Fact 29

Myths & Facts Myth Fact Domestic Violence is rarely spoken about, it is a private family matter. Domestic violence is a crime. It is not part of any relationship. Domestic violence if hidden can escalate and do more damage if no one knows about it. Domestic violence only happens where there is unemployment and poverty in the family Women from all backgrounds, all ages, all cultures, employed and unemployed are likely to be victims of domestic violence Women know their rights and can leave the situation if they want to. A strong sense of silence and secrecy often go with Domestic Violence. Women fear speaking out. The violence causes low self-esteem and no one wants their family to break up. Most women hope the violence will stop. Some women provoke violence and they are part of the problem No family deserves violence, dealing with problems in ways that don’t involve violence is the key, not blaming the victim. 30

Commonly named causes or excuses for domestic violence Financial pressure on the family causing stress Drug & alcohol abuse by one or more family members Gambling by either partner Abuse within extended families, generational abuse Typical and acceptable “male” behaviour Culturally acceptable behaviour 31

Indicators of domestic and family violence, experienced by women Physical injuries, including broken bones, no explanation for injuries Threats to safety, intimidation or harassment Current or previous police involvements Feelings of sadness or depression, low self esteem Difficulty in concentration or focus Being denied access to funds or resources and/or repeated requests for financial assistance 32

Indicators of domestic and family violence, experienced by women Over protective of children and avoidance of discussing children Current or previous separation in the relationship Extensive use of medications Lack of self esteem or self confidence Problems with sleep & sleeplessness Nervous or withdrawn behaviours 33

Indicators of domestic and family violence, experienced by women Aggressive behaviours or language Isolation from friends, family & community Medical or psychosomatic illness, such as headaches or stomach problems, frequent visits to hospital or doctor Eating disorders Difficulty with friendships 34

Impacts of domestic and family violence on children and young people Physical injuries Bed wetting or soiling Psychosomatic illness Behavioural problems Anxious or fearful behaviours Aggressive language or behaviours Developmental delays Nervous or withdrawn behaviours 35

Impacts of domestic and family violence on children and young people Advanced maturity, sense of responsibility Disturbed sleep, nightmares, constant waking, fear of the dark Use of drugs or alcohol Difficulty forming and maintaining relationships, poor social skills. Lacking in confidence, poor self esteem and self image Sadness or depression Eating disorders Self-harming behaviours 36

Some Additional Causal Factors Experienced By Migrant Communities   Financial pressure: in particular the financial pressure of supporting relatives in the home country and the pressure of unemployment Gambling Changes in women’s attitudes, expectation and roles. Relationship difficulties, including issues relating to children, which were seen to put pressure on relationships that may lead to domestic violence Male behaviours and attitudes in particular in response to the changed roles of women in Australia Cultural differences, in the context of mixed marriages Provocation from women experiencing the freedom of women's rights 37

Issues which impact on the incidence of domestic violence in refugee communities Pre arrival torture, trauma, rape and sexual violence Post traumatic stress disorder Problems experienced during resettlement Racism Loss of dreams Loss of status 38